Two sex questions

by Seeker4 53 Replies latest social relationships

  • Seeker4
    Seeker4

    OK, have had enough to drink tonight so I will toss these two questions out. Will discuss this a bit more tomorrow.

    1. How many of you had sex outside of your marriage after leaving the Witnesses? Provide whatever details about how and why that you're comfortable with.

    2. Funny question: Had a friend write me today that probably more JWs per capita enjoyed oral sex the night they read it was a "conscience matter" than any other group in the US. Are you one of the guilty ones? Not me, but I must admit that later in life I've learned to enjoy this....

    S4

  • Celia
    Celia

    OH BOY ! Is there's a confession coming ???

    Never had sex outside my marriage.
    But had lots of practice before i got married...
    Hey, I married late in life !

  • JanH
    JanH

    1. Well, yes. I am sure there are circumstances where I could remain monogamous over longer time, but I haven't been in any of those

    2. I am not in the US, but I can say neither me (as a believing JW) nor my JW spouse had second thoughts about oral sex. Had oral sex before I had intercourse, in fact.

    The oral sex ban was mostly ignored here, as it was elsewhere in continental Europe. It's like a ban on breathing.

    - Jan
    --
    "Doctor how can you diagnose someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and then act like I had some choice about barging in here right now?" -- As Good As It Gets

  • Seeker4
    Seeker4

    Celia,

    This is all hypothetical stuff!! Confessions are for tomorrow, and to be kept confidential for those who know true identities! And from the looks of things, I may be the only one willing to REALLY talk about this.
    S4

  • Xena
    Xena

    What the heck I just posted my favorite sexual position..why not reply to this one too???

    1. Yes..come on I have an open marriage...what would be the point of that if I didn't have sex outside of it??

    2. No...oral sex didn't get good till I was out of the JW mindset..did it a few times while I was in but felt guilty about it...NOW..uuummm it's a whole different story!

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    The oral sex ban makes no sense, I even said so to an elder once...that was a popular opinion...lol.

    I never once f-'ed before marriage, but after....Jesus, lord have mercy.

    ashi

  • Celia
    Celia

    Seeker4,
    I would never reveal anyone's identity.
    I would never use any information I have about anyone.
    I read, I think about it, I do not judge.
    Hope you trust me!

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    1. I would never have sex outside my marriage. My commitment to my wife is absolute.

    2. Mostly ignored the WT on this subject as I didn't think it was anybody else's business.

    As a sidebar I would like to say that even after 27 years of marriage Mrs. T and I are still on a voyage of discovery in this, and many other areas.

  • COMF
    COMF

    I didn't cheat on my wife while we were together. She moved out and we started living separate lives, but didn't divorce until almost two years later. During that time, I was sexually active with others, yes.

    Divorce final in 1988. Been single since, but sexually active all along. Never had any guilt over oral sex, whether giving or receiving.

    COMF

  • GentlyFeral
    GentlyFeral

    Seeker4,

    This is the one that interests me:

    How many of you had sex outside of your marriage after leaving the Witnesses? Provide whatever details about how and why that you're comfortable with.

    Our marriage started opening up about a year after we DA'd and my husband realized that bisexuality was not going away. He got involved with a man we'd known for years, and somewhat to my own surprise, I thought it was cute. Of course it helped that he had already stuck with me during our religious breakdown; I knew that Jehoover Himself could not break us up, and He had tried!

    I started playing around with nice ladies about a year after that; a member of my Full Moon Circle told me she had two queen-size beds that I could choose from, and I took her up on it. We were together for about a year and a half. She, like me, was a Damn Cute Fat Chyck.

    Now before this relationship ended, I ran into a fascinating mind on a bi women's email list. Did my best to sweep her off her feet via email. It worked, and when she moved near me (for OTHER reasons), we hooked up. That one only lasted six months. She dumped me because I kept stepping all over her issues without realizing it. They were real issues, too, so I don't hold it against her. (But damn, she was great in bed.)

    About a year ago I put up a personals ad online. Last week, someone interesting and intelligent answered. We've exchanged some email and we're meeting for the first time this weekend. After that ... we shall see.

    GentlyFeral

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