People that leave seem to fall into a few groups.
1) People that are done wrong, get angry, leave in a huff, and burn every bridge on the way out that isn't being burnt by others. Life is hard.
2) People that wake up, and leave to maintain sanity. its hard, but they just want them and their family out. They get on with life.
3) People that wake up, fade, and just shake it off and get on with their real life.
4) People that leave because they are "spiritually weak", and are riddled with guilt for years maybe returning for a memorial. They are still believers, but just think they have screwed the pooch.
5) People that get disfellowshipped and go buck wild. Never had sex before? Lets have sex with everythign that moves! Never did drugs before? Lets cook out food in hash oil will doing metth with my hmouth and heroine with my toes. They burn out, they return to the flock.
6) People that are DF'd or JW in their youth, but just kind of don't care. They aren't true believers and eventually life takes them in a different direction.
He is probably 4. He might as well be a JW. When you are a number 4, you have the same defense mechanisms most JW's do. If you get labeled, it excuses any behavior he may have towards you. Its truely just a way to throw you in a box. Kate, you are a JW apostate....this is certain. But no you should never accept this definition from them, and give their mind manipulation tactics any credence.