Let us know how it works out...
Sirona
i don't post too often and this is really hard for me to do but i just have to vent about this.. i have had my answering machine take any incoming calls for the last couple of days because i am really not in the mood for talking to anyone apart from my daughters at this point in time, so i pick up only if it is one of them.. well i picked up tonight as it was my eldest and us being very close i always tell her what is going on in my life/head etc.
she is a mother herself but never was a jw as i swore i would never force that on my girls or anyone else.
she thanks me for that because her three children are free of fear and normal well adjusted kids.
Let us know how it works out...
Sirona
i don't post too often and this is really hard for me to do but i just have to vent about this.. i have had my answering machine take any incoming calls for the last couple of days because i am really not in the mood for talking to anyone apart from my daughters at this point in time, so i pick up only if it is one of them.. well i picked up tonight as it was my eldest and us being very close i always tell her what is going on in my life/head etc.
she is a mother herself but never was a jw as i swore i would never force that on my girls or anyone else.
she thanks me for that because her three children are free of fear and normal well adjusted kids.
(((((Cath)))))
Hang in there. I'm sure that you'll make up with your daughter, she might be feeling bad about shouting at you already!
Sometimes we go too far when discussions get heated....try to calm down and speak to her when you are feeling strong enough.
Sirona
i just wanted to tell all of you how very much you mean to me.
i want to especially thank my husband wild turkey, for finding this place and showing me the light.
he was so encouraging to me when i first came into this room.
I feel the same. I've been really touched by everyone's concern about me recently and its a great help to be able to come here and share.
Love
Sirona
thanks for your support on my thread "bad day".. it seems things don't want to get better.
sorry for moaning, but i thought i'd update you all too.... firstly i saw the dental specialist today (remember, infected wisdom tooth?).
he said (after thorough examination, xray etc).
HI Prisca,
Thanks. I have hardly done any work. I'm sort of feeling numb and I can't really concentrate on things.
I'm trying to rationalise and tell myself that theres no point getting upset right now. There is no point, but it still happens.
I will get a video like you said and take it easy tonight. Only 3 hours left of work...
Sirona
thanks for your support on my thread "bad day".. it seems things don't want to get better.
sorry for moaning, but i thought i'd update you all too.... firstly i saw the dental specialist today (remember, infected wisdom tooth?).
he said (after thorough examination, xray etc).
This cancer thing fills me with a sense of urgency. I have to *do* things while I still can.
Work seems irrelevant. I'm sitting here wasting hours of my life. They are filled with urgency for the next order, yet I lack any serious motivation. I hope I'm not asked what I've been doing today.
I'm sure this is a perfectly reasonable way to feel.
I wonder if there are any online articles about the psychology of those dealing with cancer? I'm sure I'm a text book case.
I hope its all a storm in a teacup.
Sirona
i think the title is self-explanatory for the most part, but to clarify: i'm not talking about jw dogma.
i mean, why do so many, even ex-jw, settle on dogma?
why use one "holy book" to define your spirituality?
I think its something to do with the nature of the human brain. Its theorised that we try to "organise" everything. Therefore I think that spiritually speaking, people feel much more comfortable having an external source for their religious focus. It stops the confusion.
Some people are satisfied with the most simplistic of explanations about life. They feel happy and secure to think that its all explained for them.
I think that it takes a strong minded person to accept that there is no real answer. Atheists sound strong, but sometimes they hide behind atheism because they just don't want to think about it. Admittedly some atheists think about it deeply but reach the "no God" conclusion. Similarly, I'd say a high percentage of religious people don't want to think about it either. The bible (or whatever book) is the answer, and thats as far as they're going to investigate it.
The minority are religious persons who do think about it, who want to think about it and who reach a much more open minded conclusion. Some refer to books, some don't. Most of these are intelligent, religiously tolerant individuals.
Sirona
i have seen my share of horrors in my life; my own; others when i worked on the ambulance and in the funeral home.
i've come home covered in someone else's blood and dealt with death on numerous times.
i have been to the dentist five times in the past month.
Onacruse, I agree about it being something to do with being conscious while they do it. I'd much rather be knocked out than have surgery being aware of what they're doing.
I also think its something to do with your head. I have a theory that its an evolutionary trait to protect your head above all else (for obvious reasons) and that head surgery of any kind makes you feel really unwell. E.g. not being able to eat, etc. is worse than having pain somewhere else in your body.
Is it just me who thinks this? Personally I'd rather have twice the pain somewhere else in my body than half the pain in my head. Its sort of such an invasion because I think of "me" being up there, whereas bodily pain can be mentally separated from "me"....
Am I strange?
Sirona
i have seen my share of horrors in my life; my own; others when i worked on the ambulance and in the funeral home.
i've come home covered in someone else's blood and dealt with death on numerous times.
i have been to the dentist five times in the past month.
Aww Mimilly,
I understand, and I think you've been brave not to run off in the other direction when they mentioned all that dental work.
I think we should be thankful that we're not living 50 years ago. My mother had one of her teeth pulled by a drunken dentist without anaesthetic and when she cried he smacked her across her face!
Needles are not nice, but they numb the pain....
Sirona
satistics can be flexed to represent anything you want.. personally i know of out of a congregation of 89 .
my daughter & son in law who is an elder, three elders wives , publishers 4. another daughter that refused to accept the witness life style.
my wife just before she died had to be on prozac.
Hi
I think that if there are more instances of mental health problems within JWs than in general society then it is down to reasons such as:
1. Jehovah's witnesses discourage individuals from seeking professional help. There have been many watchtower articles counselling people to avoid worldly psychologists.
2. If a JW in desperation does seek outside help, or if they are forced to get help (whilst in hospital for instance) they will still demonstrate a profound mistrust of the professional who is attempting to help them. The professional is seen as "worldly" who will shipwreck their faith if they're not careful. How can someone recover mentally when they can't trust others?
3. The environment within the JW religion is one that causes much stress and mental tension. JWs are pushed to "do more" when they might be at their limit. I saw one JW elder giving 150% for years, until eventually he cracked and got himself DF'd. I really think that his problem was that he was trying so hard to "do more" all the time he just burned out.
Sirona
thanks for your support on my thread "bad day".. it seems things don't want to get better.
sorry for moaning, but i thought i'd update you all too.... firstly i saw the dental specialist today (remember, infected wisdom tooth?).
he said (after thorough examination, xray etc).
Hi
Heres my update.
My cancer specialist confirmed that the glands on the right side of my neck are enlarged (one in particular). She also found (to my horror) a lump under my arm. Its an enlarged lymph node. This is worrying since the first sign of cancer spreading is an enlarged node under the arm.
She took a biopsy from both areas (with a needle -ouch!). My results are next Thursday. They said that if the results are clear, then they will take the enlarged node out from under my arm anyway, to be sure. If the results are not clear, I will have to have further treatment such as all lymph nodes removed and possibly chemical treatment (chemo).
I'm terrified. They said lots of things about not worrying, about how glands can swell for lots of other reasons. They said they feel confident. I think they said what they usually say to someone in this situation.
Flicking through melanoma information a few days ago, I found a statement that upset me : Melanoma is the biggest killer of women aged 26-29 in the US. Good thing I'm in the UK eh? OK well thats not a joke but I'm trying to think on the positive side, but my thoughts seem to dance around the idea of my own death....just for a second...before I tell myself that its all OK and that even if the cancer spread, I will be OK.
A 70 year old woman living near us had all her lymph nodes removed, etc. and she is fine. I know logically that I will be OK. It might even be clear.....
Sirona