At the Spiritualist church, the medium decided to ask the audience some questions about their supernatural experiences. "Hands up anyone here who has seen a ghost" he said About half the hands went up. "mm very good. hands up anyone who has spoken to a ghost" About 1/3 the hands went up. "excellent. hands up anyone who has been intimate with a ghost" he said. One hand went up. The medium looked at the man with his hand up and said "really? have you been intimate with a ghost???!!!" The man blushed. "OHHH Ghost!" he said, "Sorry, I thought you said "Goat"" HA HA!!!!
Posts by Sirona
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8Rude Ghosty Joke!
by Sirona inat the spiritualist church, the medium decided to ask the audience some questions about their supernatural experiences.
about half the hands went up.
"mm very good.
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6
Halloween Survival Tips
by Sirona intips for a safe halloween.
when it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it's really dead.
if you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house move away immediately.
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Sirona
Tips for a Safe Halloween
When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it's really dead.
If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house move away immediately.
Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.
When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go it alone.
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.
If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
Do not take *anything* from the dead.
If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.
If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions. HAPPY HALLOWEEN! and A Blessed Samhain -
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What did you do to piss the brothers off?
by Pleasuredome inwhen you were getting fed up with meetings before you gave up, was there anything you did to deliberately get on the brothers nerves?.
i turned up to a meeting once with jeans on, and a red top with cccp on it with the 'hammer and sickle'.
i also went to another bs group a few times so that if i wasnt at one group they'd think i was at the other and vice versa.
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Sirona
I had an argument with an elder about a secret congregational matter in a LOUD voice after the meeting.
Then I got my navel pierced and showed it to EVERYONE at the meeting :)
Sirona
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15
Need a little athiest help here
by pandora ini recieved this email from a customer of mine i have become close to.
she has heard a small portion of the horrid details of my past with the jehovah's witness religion.
today we were talking and that dasterdly topic of religion came up again.
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Sirona
jizro
Normal people don't go killing people!
Unfortunately, I think you are wrong, because how do we define "normal"?
Sirona
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31
confused, scared..you name it
by Cyre inhi there..im new to the board.
i am a coptic orthodox christian right now, and i am good friends with a witness.
unfortunately, i didnt know enough about my own religion before i started listening to my friend and i am starting to question my faith.
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Sirona
http://www.neopagan.net/ABCDEF.html
I found this for you taken from the site above. I've added my own comments about JWs in red.
The Advanced Bonewits Cult Danger Evaluation Frame
(version 2.6)Factors:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Low High
1
Internal Control: Amount of internal political and social power exercised by leader(s) over members; lack of clearly defined organizational rights for members.
There is A LOT of internal control over members - mainly to do with disfellowshipping rule which prevents someone leaving unless they are willing to be shunned.
1
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2
External Control: Amount of external political and social influence desired or obtained; emphasis on directing members external political and social behavior.
The JWs Say you should be "without spot from the world" this prevents you being involved in social groups who are not JW and any social events that are not JW. Also, you cannot celebrate normal holidays.
2
_________________________
3
Wisdom/Knowledge Claimed by leader(s); amount of infallibility declared or implied about decisions or doctrinal/scriptural interpretations; number and degree of unverified and/or unverifiable credentials claimed.
The JWs, although not saying they are infallible, DO say that they are the ONLY group directed by Christ. The words of the Watchtower Governing Body are followed to the letter.
3
_________________________
4
Wisdom/Knowledge Credited to leader(s) by members; amount of trust in decisions or doctrinal/scriptural interpretations made by leader(s); amount of hostility by members towards internal or external critics and/or towards verification efforts.
The JWs (as stated above) believe that they are the only group approved by God at this time. They follow the Watchtower without question. Those who speak out are shunned and disfellowshipped. Reading literature other than JW literature is strongly discouraged.
4
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5
Dogma: Rigidity of reality concepts taught; amount of doctrinal inflexibility orfundamentalism; hostility towards relativism and situationalism.
The JWs say that their teachings are scriptural, when actually many many rules are going beyond scripture. Blood doctrine is one example - they now actually approve the use of blood components but not whole blood. This is beyond scripture and harms people.
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Recruiting: Emphasis put on attracting new members; amount of proselytizing; requirement for all members to bring in new ones.
Well, this one is obvious!
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Front Groups: Number of subsidiary groups using different names from that of main group, especially when connections are hidden.
This is not happening in JWs as far as I know, however I do know that most congregations claim to work independently of the Governing Body, yet they are actually just following the Watchtower society's direction in everything - right down to elders phoning up New York if there is a problem.
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Wealth: Amount of money and/or property desired or obtained by group; emphasis on members donations; economic lifestyle of leader(s) compared to ordinary members.
The JW organisation is a multimillion dollar company. They own numerous properties and although they don't ask for money for magazines in certain countries - what they won't tell you is that this arrangement is so that they can get more tax benefits as a "charity"
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Sexual Manipulation of members by leader(s) of non-tantric groups; amount of control exercised over sexuality of members in terms of sexual orientation, behavior, and/or choice of partners.
There are rules about who you may marry as a JW and many people are forced to marry too soon due to pressure. Sex practices not approved by the group will be met with disciplinary action. Other sexual practices that have been concealed however are paedophilia and rape by the elders in some congregations.
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10
Sexual Favoritism: Advancement or preferential treatment dependent upon sexual activity with the leader(s) of non-tantric groups.
10
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11
Censorship: Amount of control over members access to outside opinions on group, its doctrines or leader(s).
A JW is not allowed to read opposing literature and is not allowed to speak to a former member. Reading books about other religions is strongly discouraged, and attending another church (even once) could result in disfellowshipping.
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12
Isolation: Amount of effort to keep members from communicating with non-members, including family, friends and lovers.
JWs disfellowship former members, meaning that current JWs cannot speak to them. The watchtower also tells JWs that those who are not JW are "bad associations" and that we should avoid contact with non-jws. Even family are not as important as other JWs.
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13
Dropout Control: Intensity of efforts directed at preventing or returning dropouts.
Very intense "rules" to stop people leaving. Threat of losing your friends and family if you choose another faith. If you are JW and you speak out on a doctrinal issue, you are viewed as "gangrene" and are thrown out of the congregation - this is to prevent you telling the current members the truth.
13
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Violence: Amount of approval when used by or for the group, its doctrines or leader(s).
There is a hierarchy within JWs. If you are a "pioneer" (which means spending lots of time preaching 70 hours a month I think) then you are given special priveledges within the congregation and are invited to all social gatherings. If you are not a pioneer and don't spend much time preaching, you may be shunned. Men are encouraged to take "responsibility" in the congregation and are praised for performing menial tasks. Those who wish to simply attend without this extra work are considered "spiritually weak"
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Paranoia: Amount of fear concerning real or imagined enemies; exaggeration of perceived power of opponents; prevalence of conspiracy theories.
Oh this definately happens in JWs! Firstly, they show the "world" of non-jws as evil and dangerous. yes, the world is dangerous, but this is emphasised so much that JWs are AFRAID to leave the pseudo security of the JW organisation. Then there is the preoccupation with demons. JWs think that if you are not protected by Jehovah, demons will possess you. They may even get into your home via items bought second hand, or whatever. This paranoia is so extreme.
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16
Grimness: Amount of disapproval concerning jokes about the group, its doctrines or its leader(s).
JWs laugh at JW jokes. :)
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Surrender of Will: Amount of emphasis on members not having to be responsible for personal decisions; degree of individual disempowerment created by the group, its doctrines or its leader(s).
The JWs will follow the advice of the society for EVERY decision. Try asking your JW friend for advice on something fairly complex, and they will refer you to a recent watchtower on the subject. Independent thinking is actually discouraged.
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Hypocrisy: amount of approval for actions which the group officially considers immoral or unethical, when done by or for the group, its doctrines or leader(s); willingness to violate the groups declared principles for political, psychological, social, economic, military, or other gain.
They are false prophets but condemn other religions for being such. They harbour and protect paedophiles and rapists, they were an NGO for the United Nations whilst at the same time declaring that the UN was the "wild beast", the Watchtower originated with a man who was involved in the occult - yet they criticise other groups who have such associations....the list goes on.
The JWs are a cult.
Sirona
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31
confused, scared..you name it
by Cyre inhi there..im new to the board.
i am a coptic orthodox christian right now, and i am good friends with a witness.
unfortunately, i didnt know enough about my own religion before i started listening to my friend and i am starting to question my faith.
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Sirona
Cyre,
Welcome! I think that you must already be doubting the JWs if you have decided to post here.
When analysing a religion you will need to look at the Cult Evaluation information available online. This will highlight to you the things about the religion that are questionable. The JWs present an innocent image, but that this not the full story.
Good luck and blessings with your spiritual quest,
Sirona
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Quiz - are you a genius - ANSWERS
by Sirona in26 letters of the alphabet .
7 days of the week .
7 wonders of the world .
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Sirona
1. 26 letters of the alphabet
2. 7 days of the week
3. 7 wonders of the world
4. 12 signs of the zodiac
5. 66 books of the bible
6. 52 cards in a pack (without jokers)
7. 13 stripes in the US flag
8. 18 holes on a golf course
9. 39 books of the old testament
10. 5 toes on a foot
11. 90 degrees in a right angle
12. 3 blind mice (see how they run)
13. 32 is the temperature in degrees farenheit at which water freezes
14. 15 players in a rugby team
15. 3 wheels on a tricycle
16. 100 cents in a rand
17. 11 players in a football (soccer) team
18. 12 months in a year
19. 13= unlucky for some
20. 8 tenticles on an octopus
21. 29 days in February in a leap year.
22. 27 books in the New Testament
23. 365 days in a year
24. 13 loaves in a bakers dozen
25. 52 weeks in a year
26. 9 lives of a cat
27. 60 minutes in an hour
28. 23 Pairs of Chromosomes in the Human Body
29. 64 Squares on a chess board
30. 9 provinces in South Africa
31. 6 balls to an over in cricket
32. 1000 years in a millenium
33. 15 men on a dead man's chest
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Quiz - are you a genius?
by Sirona ini was given this quiz and i enjoyed it so much that i thought i'd post it here.
i assume that all the posts after this one (assuming there are any!!!
) will contain peoples answers, so if you just want to do the quiz, don't read past my post just yet!
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Sirona
Some of you did really well!!! Here are ALL the answers. I don't think anyone got 16, 30 or 33. Farkel got a couple wrong too, namely the soccer one (he didn't say soccer) and the cards one - (its without jokers). Personally I got 27.
1. 26 letters of the alphabet
2. 7 days of the week
3. 7 wonders of the world
4. 12 signs of the zodiac
5. 66 books of the bible
6. 52 cards in a pack (without jokers)
7. 13 stripes in the US flag
8. 18 holes on a golf course
9. 39 books of the old testament
10. 5 toes on a foot
11. 90 degrees in a right angle
12. 3 blind mice (see how they run)
13. 32 is the temperature in degrees farenheit at which water freezes
14. 15 players in a rugby team
15. 3 wheels on a tricycle
16. 100 cents in a rand
17. 11 players in a football (soccer) team
18. 12 months in a year
19. 13= unlucky for some
20. 8 tenticles on an octopus
21. 29 days in February in a leap year.
22. 27 books in the New Testament
23. 365 days in a year
24. 13 loaves in a bakers dozen
25. 52 weeks in a year
26. 9 lives of a cat
27. 60 minutes in an hour
28. 23 Pairs of Chromosomes in the Human Body
29. 64 Squares on a chess board
30. 9 provinces in South Africa
31. 6 balls to an over in cricket
32. 1000 years in a millenium
33. 15 men on a dead man's chest
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28
Quiz - are you a genius?
by Sirona ini was given this quiz and i enjoyed it so much that i thought i'd post it here.
i assume that all the posts after this one (assuming there are any!!!
) will contain peoples answers, so if you just want to do the quiz, don't read past my post just yet!
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Sirona
The copy I received did not indicate time limits. I feel pretty sure that the test carried out by the IQ society members was timed, though. I'd recommend giving yourself 20 minutes. When I did this test I'd gotten most of them by then, and when I tried later I still couldn't figure out the rest. If you are gonna get them you'll probably get them within 20 mins.
Sirona
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28
Quiz - are you a genius?
by Sirona ini was given this quiz and i enjoyed it so much that i thought i'd post it here.
i assume that all the posts after this one (assuming there are any!!!
) will contain peoples answers, so if you just want to do the quiz, don't read past my post just yet!
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Sirona
HI All,
I was given this quiz and I enjoyed it so much that I thought I'd post it here. I assume that all the posts after this one (assuming there are any!!!) will contain peoples answers, so if you just want to do the quiz, don't read past my post just yet!
On Monday 28th October I will post ALL of the answers.
According to [a well known IQ society who I will not name] if you get 23 of these right, you are a genius! Only 2 members of the IQ society achieved full marks. See how well you do.
You have to work out what the letters mean. See 0 as an example.
0. 24 H in a D Answer= 24 Hours in a Day
1. 26 L of the A
2. 7 D of the W
3. 7 W of the W
4. 12 S of the Z
5. 66 B of the B#
6. 52 C in a P (WJs)
7. 13 S in the USF
8. 18 H on a GC
9. 39 B of the OT
10. 5 T on a F
11. 90 D in a RA
12. 3 BM (SHTR)
13. 32 is the T in DF at which WF
14. 15 P in a RT
15. 3 W on a T
16. 100 C in a R
17. 11 P in a F (S) T
18. 12 M in a Y
19. 13=UFS
20. 8 T on a O
21. 29 D in F in a LY
22. 27 B in the NT
23. 365 D in a Y
24. 13 L in a BD
25. 52 W in a Y
26. 9 L of a C
27. 60 M in a H
28. 23 P of C in the HB
29. 64 S on a CB
30. 9 P in SA
31. 6 B to an O in C
32. 1000 Y in a M
33. 15M on a DMC