On the brighter side, guessed Jephthat daugther didn't died a virgin. Maybe some men did go with them in roaming those "hills and valleys" (hmmm, I love porn, sorry err puns), and my, what a time she must have had- give me good sex with reckless abandon for two whole uninterrupted months, then make a martyr of me, I'd be very much obliged!
And Isaac's story could never be complete without the tranquilizers, ropes and bondage materials (yeah, he was drugged and overpowered by Abraham and his servants), then he was also an imbecile (couldn't get himself a wife, couldn't recognise his own kids, couldn't distinguish hog meat from mutton!), so he wasn't worth much anyway.
And don't mind God when he said it "never came up in his mind", when you too have being living for eternity, you'd see whether you wouldn't suffer from some descent amnesia (remember, then "all the former things would not be called to mind"). Well, okay, I agree, his is selective amnesia but amnesia all the same.
Did you say God sacrificed Jesus? C'mon he wasn't even technically dead, imagine just 3 days out of infinity! Let's just say he passed out for a moment and was resuscitated. And lest you forget, the Romans and Jewish leaders did it and not God, he only "allowed" it to happened!
A couple lines in a poem I wrote on the several atrocities perform by "God" reads:
But God was not found guilty
For God was not found...at all