I don't feel as if I traded one set of "pie in the sky" beliefs when leaving the WTS' idea of earthly paradise for the heavenly one. When I left the WTS I did not leave my spirituality behind (as the WTS teaches we have left God himself) and I didn't automatically become a Christian either.
I was disgusted and disappointed in the WTS and I knew in my gut that there had to be something better. I just didn't know WHAT.....but too many scriptures rang true for them to be lies.
I had been skeptically reading the testimonies of Christians online, and figured they were nuts and/or fanatics.....but then too many of these testimonies all seemed to have one main thread running through them....and this intrigued me. I admired their assuring tone and found myself fondly wishing I had that kind of faith to rely on. Mine had taken a real beating because of the exposure of the WTS, but it was still there somewhere.
One night a few years ago, I was reading a website that I now believe I was led by Jesus to find (after ALL, his voice had successfully led me OUT of the WTS)....and I admitted I was a sinner in dire need of direction and mercy....asked Jesus to come into my heart and my life....and IMMEDIATELY there was SUCH a calming peace that came over me like a huge fuzzy warm blanket wrapped around me. I had never experienced anything like this before in my life, even in 30 years as "one of the happiest people on earth" as a JW.
Since then, scriptures have taken on new meaning, ones I have read hundreds of times before as a JW....now leaped off the pages at me with a new understanding, and so many things made sense...that did not do so before.
I do attend a lovely country church up the road from me when I am able to, a very family and community oriented church with warm and terrific people. The sermons are uplifting and thoughtful and the Pastor is a gentle and humble man, but I can honestly say that I don't "HAVE" a religion other than Christianity.
I feel that "religion/faith" is a purely personal thing between you and Christ, and NO organization will help you to be found any more "worthy" simply because of belonging TO it. It all boils down to what YOU do and how YOU behave with the information and the truths you absorb and act on.
Due to my bringing my family into the WTS, we have been shredded and torn to bits over who is "in" the WTS and who has left by DFing or DAing....and those that never were baptized but were at different stages on "progressing TO WTS baptism"....we were a real mess. Since I put my heart in Jesus' care and keeping, our family has made wonderful progress.....in forgiveness and love. Strong differences just seemed to vanish.
I can SEE the hand of Jesus in how this has all come about....some very insurmountable hurdles have been swept away and we are FINALLY getting together (with the exception of one JW) at holidays and birthdays and the 4th of July party we have every year, etc. Things I never thought I'd see in my lifetime have all taken place just in these last few years. I just cannot chalk it up to "coincidence".
When Jesus touches your heart....you know it. There is no mistake.....and then too, I look forward to whatever he has in store for me.
hugs,
Annie