Posts by SusanHere

50

Seeing JWs in a positive light.

by ScoobySnax in

jw
friends

not a new light, just a positive light.. sometimes on here i worry that all jws are painted with a bad brush when i know that not to be the case.

today i was looking after a jw patient on the ward and she was the most wonderful old girl you could meet, she really made me smile, and she was bright as a button.

later her family came in, who i didn't recognise and they were just as pleasent.

SusanHere

I agree with Cyber-sista...

My JW-Pioneer-for-many-years sister is the most kindhearted person you'd ever want to meet. She was horribly abused as alittle child, ending up married and pregnant at 15. Two more marriages followed.

She became JW somewhere between husband 2 and husband 3. They promised her everything the world had never given her -- respect, hope, love, approval, acceptance, and a joyful life in paradise with happy people forever. Of course she jumped at it.

Since then she has been the picture of the model JW. But over the years, she has suffered terrible depressions, even becoming suicidal, as the promises failed to materialize. Yet she will not let go of the promises they made so long ago. She just sent me a copy of the "talk" she is giving this week.

She has, however, begun making comments such as how she "wishes" her children could have had all the activities my church offered for my children. She has begun sending birthday cards that actually say "happy birthday" on them instead of "for your special day". She even sent a gift this year. And a Christmas card with a lighted tree on the front, and a gift inside. She attended the wedding reception of our son, in our church. She attended part of a church meeting with me one Sunday when visiting from out of state (where nobody would know her). She helped decorate a Christmas tree for an elderly woman she works for. She stopped using "Jehovah" in her letters to me, but only says, "Heavenly Father" (my choice of diety names). She will use the KJV to send me Bible quotes.

It is double-think and a double life that is not healthy for her. Undoubtedly there are many others like her, doing the same things, being model JWs when people are looking, but thinking and acting more like non-JWs when they are alone. I don't have any answers or solutions, other than to keep loving and supporting them, and showing them the simple truth that there is goodness to be found outside of the JW life.

I believe there must be many gentle, goodhearted, loving people within the ranks of JWs. Like my sister.

Susan

76

The John Denver Issue, vote now.

by londoner in

jw
friends

this is for those of you who sent me a private message saying you dont believe me, your letting your old jw traits come out, you know, not believing things when the facts stare you in the face unless it comes from the org.

maybee you should go back and re join them.. to confirm what happened .

i was at a john denver concert in the uk many years ago, he asked all catholics to stand up, after he got them seated he did the same with church of england, then the same with a couple of other religions, after he asked all jw's to stand up he announced that the concert would not go on untill they had all left and he then left the stage.

SusanHere

Londoner,

If your story is true, it's sad. Without some evidence to back it up, however, it is only your word for it, and I don't know you well enough (or at all, actually) to say whether your word is worth anything or not. I hope time will prove you to be trustworthy and your postings to be valid.

I also hope you are mistaken in your recollection of John Denver's character.

Susan

48

Anybody With Sleep Apnea?

by prophecor in

jw
friends

how are you coping?

do you use a cpap machine or did you get surgery to correct your difficulties?

do you dread having to go to sleep, with the possibility that you may never awaken?

SusanHere

As this was my specialty for many years working in hospitals, I need to add something not yet brought out in this thread. Namely, sleep disorders, because of the constantly dropping/rising oxygen levels in the brain, have been found to be the cause of as much as 50% of all senile dementias in the elderly. Many professionals in the field would place that percentage much higher. I'm one of them.

It also stresses the heart because on ongoing "fight or flight" stressors caused by cessation of breathing. Consequently, apnea patients are more likely to suffer cardiac arrest or other cardiac problems. Basically, it wears the heart out early. A man of 50 can have the heart of an 80 year old. Not good.

As if not reason enough, people who are sleep deprived are in the same limited mental functioning state as someone who has been drinking and is under the influence of alcohol. Yet people with sleep apnea are required to drive vehicles, operate machinery of various types, and perform any and all jobs anyone else might have.

They are also more likely to divorce, because of the personality changes that occur with prolonged sleep disorders. Moodiness, grouchiness, snarling behaviors in general, laziness, etc. are often more a sleep disorder result than merely the person becoming a jerk in their advancing age (the worst ones to suffer this are often in their 40's, so far too young for this to be age-related).

Sleep disorder patients have memory loss that will become permanent if treatment is not received. My own husband was present for the birth of two of our children. His fragmented memory loss only allows him to remember he was at the hospital, with partial memory of one delivery. When he tells stories of our first 15 years of married life, the stories are often way off the mark, because the sleep apnea has the effect of a shotgun blast through the memory. Pieces are missing. The brain does its best to put the remainder back in logical order, but it is heartbreaking how many cherished moments are lost to him.

The sooner treatment begins, the less memory loss will be permanent. Don't wait.

Secondary sleep disorders caused by inability to sleep with someone suffering from a sleep disorder cause stresses in the marriage. Separate bedrooms become the norm. Divorces are common.

The surgery mentioned by several has an abysmal failure rate. We've seen patients who have had it done three or even four times, only to go onto CPAP in the end. The surgery will only work if the obstruction is in EXACTLY the right place. This is not common.

Lastly, there is also Central Nervous System sleep disorder where the brain simply does not send the signal to breathe once someone goes to sleep. This is an entirely different issue. It is deadly and needs treatment. And some patients can be mixed sleep apnea sufferers, having both obstructive and central apneas.

Your family physician CANNOT treat this condition. He is simply not skilled enough. They have only a few hours of sleep training, not enough to deal with this complex and vitally-important life issue. Do not use them except to ask them for a referral to a qualified, licensed sleep lab with an accredited staff. The doctor and the staff should have medical registeries in the field of sleep medicine (registered polysomnography techs are a must).

Insurance is paying for many of these studies now, because of the increased awareness of long-term risks to untreated patients. It's cheaper to provide a CPAP than a new heart.

I hope this helps someone out there. If you love your snoring spouse, (or other sleeping problem), drag them kicking and screaming if necessary to the proper help while there is still time.

Susan

41

Your favorite JW made-up word

by dorothy in

jw
friends

.

ok, they have lots of "witnessy" sayings.

but the best is the words they keep making up.. mine is "super-fine apostles" (from an awake a few months ago).

SusanHere

Upbuilding.

Fleshly family.

41

Your favorite JW made-up word

by dorothy in

jw
friends

.

ok, they have lots of "witnessy" sayings.

but the best is the words they keep making up.. mine is "super-fine apostles" (from an awake a few months ago).

SusanHere

Upbuilding.

26

What is LDS ?

by Tyre in

sorry, that's a silly questions.. i would like to know what is lds/mormon.

and what's their doctrines.

any info ?.

SusanHere

Hi, Tyre,

As the only active, now and forever LDS poster on this thread, let me give you a few links that will give you the correct information regarding who we are and what we believe. To put it kindly, not all who have posted prior to this have given you accurate information.

Basically, LDS are people who are family oriented, education oriented, very mainstream Americans, very patriotic, independent thinkers (if they are following the teachings which require it), good neighbors, great parents, true friends to LDS and non-LDS alike, compassionate, Christ-centered and totally sincere. Those are the ones who are making an effort to live the teachings and the lifestyle. I make no apology or excuse for the ones who don't fit that profile, as they have their own choices to make in life.

So, here are a few links you might find helpful, one of which was already posted but it never hurts to post it again, in case you missed it the first time:

Official LDS Site

Official LDS Info Site

Latter-day Saints: FAQ

If you need more, contact me directly. I don't always give the answers people want to hear, but I always tell the plain truth.

Susan

12

Any witnesses celebrating a birthday?

by evergreen in

.

my childs bithday is coming up in october and this year im going for it.i have her present bought and everything is in place to give her fantastic day to remember.for to long i have doubted this unfair policy of the borg and push has finally come to shove!.

anyone else doing the same either priavately or openly

SusanHere

I don't know if this is a subtle policy change, or a non-official but people are just doing it policy change, but my sister, who is a devout JW, has been for decades, is a pioneer, etc., just this year sent me a birthday card that actually said "Happy Birthday to my Sister" on the front of it. Inside was a handwritten note about the bond we will always have as "Sisters".

This is a huge change from a few years ago when I received my first "birthday" greeting from her in decades in the form of a "For Your Special Day" card, no mention of birthday or "sister". She used to refer to me as her "fleshly sister" which bugged the heck out of me since it's an ugly term and implies I'm second class at best and soon to be birdfood. So this is progress.

She also sent a birthday card, which also said "Happy Birthday" on the front of it, to our father, with money enclosed for a gift, with the suggestion that he and our mother go out to dinner on her money. So, a card AND a gift.

As I said, I don't know if this is policy changing at individual level, or maybe that she herself is beginning to realize at last that all the crudola she has believed all these years is basically the same stuff that they bag for fertilizer. Whatever, I'm rejoicing in the change, and encouraging it.

I also never say word one against her religion, which I believe lowers her defenses since she expects everyone to oppose her. I just make a point of telling her a bit at a time how blessed our own lives have been because of our own religion. Apparently that has begun to hit home, too, as she included comments in the last conversation about how she knows it was my religion that helped bring our two adopted sons out of the nightmare trauma of their birth family. She actually said all the programs we have for children really helped our children (as opposed no doubt to how it is in her JW world where the children get zilch by way of child-level fun at church).

So she is recognizing that Sunday School is actually of value, and youth programs, even though not something done in Bible times. (Like anything about our lives can related directly to how they did things back then anyway!)

So maybe even the older ones are beginning to loosen up a bit. We can hope.

Susan

11

"Under the Banner of Heaven"

by onacruse in

jw
friends

.

interesting book by john krakauer, about the mormons.. i'm only through chapter 7, but what an interesting (in a perverse sorta way) read.. anybody have any personal knowledge of colorado city, or bountiful (aka lister)?.

craig

SusanHere

If a group of Catholics go off to New Mexico, elect a female Pope, and start baptizing pigs and goats (the 4-legged variety), would you be so quick to continue referring to them as "Catholics" and malign the entire multi-million member true Catholic organization for the action of some lunatics who are obviously NOT following the teachings of the Catholic church?

Probably not, though some in here might.

Same with Mormons and that book. It is NOT about the actual Mormon Church (LDS) but is about a small group of people who have no affiliation with the Church, have gone off and created their own, with their own lifestyle and rules. It is truly a shame that they continue to use the name "Mormon" when they are not members and probably very few ever were members.

No, Mormons do not do "Lying for the Lord" nor do they "bleed the beast". We do not encourage welfare amongst our people. That some people who are, in fact, NOT part of the Mormon Church choose to do these, and other reprehensible things, should in no way reflect negatively upon the Church.

The book makes it clear they are not members of the LDS Church. They don't even WANT to be. They know their behavior and lifestyle would not be tolerated by us.

SusanHere

39

John 10:10

by Dawn in

john 10:10the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; i have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

a friend of mine quoted this and applied it to life "right now" - her application was that jesus meant for people to enjoy life now - not always putting off for the future - but to have joy, peace, etc in this life.

this life is a gift in itself.

SusanHere

Like many scripture verses, it means both the future (heaven) and the present (mortality). We are meant to be happy here, to have joy here, to take delight in all things good, and to encourage others to do the same. This life is a gift and a blessing.

SusanHere

(of the no doom or gloom class)

37

its just me ,,,,

by looking-4-the-truth in

how are you ... and hope everyone is good.

anyways, i'm a muslim guy and i live in the states ,,, i do love living in here ,,, and my wife is christain " mormon " ,,,,,,,,,,, .

and i'd love to discuse with one of you about the bible ,,,,,,, .

SusanHere

Let me help out a little here ...

Mormons are not "sanctioned" or "excommunicated" for marrying out of their religion. It is discouraged, but that's all.

Many part-member families are happy, though they have special challenges that simply won't be a factor if both spouses are LDS, such as what values to raise the children with, what holidays to celebrate and how, how important education should be (very high if you are LDS), morality issues, money issues, how to spend Sundays, importance of families, and on and on and on.

With part-member families, all of these, and more, become potential problem issues as they will have to be faced and dealt with and can be an ongoing conflict that will affect the entire family. Every family has issues to be settled and compromises to be made, but it helps if the core values of both spouses are the same, and LDS people tend to value their religion greatly. Even if they truly think they can compromise on issues once they're married, or once the children come, they usually find compromise unacceptable, especially where the children are concerned. It can be a problem, obviously.

So, I'd also like to hear how this couple got together, and congratulations on being happy thus far! May it always be so!!

Susan