Don`t worry sinboi what you are going through is normal .It takes time sometimes a lot of time to shake the shackles of sin/guilt that religions and especially cult religions subject you to.
Time and getting used to normal relationships with fellow human beings that are not living in fear of a vengeful God or the pie in the sky of a paradise earth ,both of which have kept you captive in a cult for so long ,once you go beyond these fears will be your beginning of a new life.
One that you are in control of and nobody else.{ isn`t that why God gave us a brain ? to think and reason for ourselves ?and not to be dictated to by some organisation religious or otherwise ? }
One that you will have destiny over and not one that is dictated to you by a cult religion from a few men in the USA.