Did anyone hear the woman on the news saying, "What a way to boost the economy. Start a war!"
Just heard on the news..."Thousands of Palestinians cheering, chanting 'God is good', and giving out candy to all passersby."
Unbelievable!!!!
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
This is unbelievable. They said the plane that crashed in Pittsburgh was headed to Chicago. Everything here is locked down. Now they say it was destined for San Francisco. I can't believe the video of the plane crashing into the building. I can't even begin to imagine what the witnesses are saying about it. I can't read any of that...I'll be sick. I am sick....this is going to have bad repercussions. I don't think we even know what's going to happen.
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
how come that when jesus was on earth there were so many demon possessd people .. imagine how scared people must have been, creeping down the street wondering whether the next person you met was crased by demons and was going to attack you.. so how did they work out that someone was possessed by demons, who told them?how did they know it wasnt just a disease or other afliction?.
and were are all those demon possessions today ?.
you would think that with all the comunication technology today that at least one example of a positivly demon possessed person could be presented to the midia somewere in the world.. or perhaps we cant tell if someone is possessed or not because there are no extra outwould signs and any disease they caused would show up like a normal disease in tests.. maybe we are all possessed and dont know it.
Did anyone hear on the news the other night that Mother Teresa was supposed to have had an exorcism? Seems she wasn't sleeping well and thought a demon had possessed her.
I don't even know WHAT to think about this one!
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
the memorial for my cousin, sharon, who died of breast cancer on september 6, was yesterday.
it was standing room only, and it was obvious how many people really loved her.
i couldn't help but think of all the absent ones, who had been her lifelong friends, and how sad it was that they stayed away.
Marilyn, I am in tears right now. I feel so honored that you would use the poem I posted at her memorial. Thank you.....
She is no longer in pain. Peace is hers now.
Hopefully the ones who left will seriously think about this "loving" religion. To get up and walk out of her service was the epitome of selfishness! You, her sons, and her "other" family showed the greatest love of all.
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
you might be a jw-------.
might be a jw .
be a jw .
Yeah, I know it's long...so???? Anyone want to add to the list?
You might be a JW-------
1. If your reaction to someone wearing a Cross is the same
as a vampire's, you might be a JW.
2. If you think demons can reduce their size to fit in jewelry,
furniture, books, anything bought at a yard sale, or into blue smurfs, you might be a JW.
3 If you equate the numbers 1 to 5 with hours on a time slip, you
might be a JW (just not a very good one)
4. If you feel that death is much more important than birth, you
might be a JW
5. If you think all R-rated movies are not worth seeing, you might
be a JW
6. If you think all men with beards and long hair are not acceptable,
you might be a JW
7. If you think that Circuit Overseers do not receive a salary,
you are a JW
8. If you think Circuit and District Overseers stay in cheap hotels
or the drafty homes of common neighborhood folk during conventions,
your are a JW.
9. If you think Jesus hasn't accomplished much of anything for
the past 83 years, you aren't the only JW who does.
10. If you think JW's are not a cult, you are a pitiful JW
11. If you think the WTS is not capable of mind control, you are a JW
12. If you think field service is other than working in the corn fields,
you might be a JW.
13. If you think elders are other than elderly people, you might be a
JW.
14. If the newspaper headlines read, "All humans on earth are smashed, and destroyed on Christmas day. Only JW's survive!!", and this would bring joy to your heart, you'd be a JW
15. If you have constant pain in your right shoulder and can't
unclasp your right hand, you probably have bookbagitis, a disease
unique to JWs
16. If you can't have a conversation with another human being without
hearing a voice in your head saying, "CONVERT HIM OR DIE!", you are
probably a Dub.
17. If you are a male and sitting in a Kingdom Hall when a very good
looking young lady comes down the aisle in a mini skirt, and your first thought is, "How immodest that sister is!" rather than,"Oh THANK GOD!!", then most likely you're a jdub
18.If you eat a Turkey on Thanksgiving and feel guilty about it but
insist that it is only because they were "on sale", you are a Dub.
19.If you have costume parties for the "young ones" within a month of
Halloween, and, if you wrap presents in brown paper to give to each
other on "Family Gift Day", you are not only a Dub but a Worldly
Wannabe and aren't fooling anybody.
20.If you have awful dreams about getting caught holding someone else's cigarette and no one will believe you that it's not yours, your're probably a Dub.
21.If you can't buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how
comfortable they will need to be while walking down residential
streets in 95 degree heat, then your're a Dub.
22.If you just bought a dress that comes down to your mid calf that has puffy sleeves, a collar that buttons to your chin and lace trim, then you are a Dub with a part on an Assembly. You might be even thinking about wearing makeup for the occasion.
23.If you have a child that is 3 years old that sits quietly for hours at a time while adults discuss mind numbingly boring topics around him, and you brag about him to all your friends....you might as well get a saddle for him and ride him because you broke his spirit and he is no longer a child. And you might be a Jehovah's Witness.
24. If you allow an organization to take the place of Christ, you are
most likely a JW.
25. If you think of an ark as an organization, you must be a JW.
26. If you believe that God ignored everyone for nearly 2,000 years,
then suddenly gave His truth to a man who sat around drawing
pictures and plans of pyramids, you must be a Jdub....
27 Or that God gave His truth to a small group of men who keep having
trouble getting their days and years straight, you might be a JW.
28.If you can't pick up a book, or anything else to read, without
picking up something to underline with also, you might be a JW
29. If you insist on calling the NT, the Greek Scriptures, you might be a JW
30.If you have a tendency to justify lying, cheating and stealing if you do it yourself, you might be a JW
31. If when you drive by a church building you suddenly feel all smug
and superior, you might be a JW
32. If when you drive by a Kingdom Hall you suddenly feel all warm and fuzzy, you might be a JW--or drunk, or both
33. If you feel you have a great wealth of Bible knowledge, you might be a JW
34. If you're sure your neighbors are all conspiring against you, you
might be a JW
35. If you've spent days at a baseball stadium and never saw a ball and didn't even have a beer, you might be a JW.
36. If you possess the ability to sing loudly and proudly even if you're tone deaf, you might be a JW.
37. If the only verse you can quote from memory is Psalms 83:18, you
might be a JW
38. If you're afraid of someone seeing you with a beer in your hand,
you might be a JW.
39. If you're always afraid someone might see and hear you when
you're just finally being "normal", you might be a JW.
40. If most of the songs you sing have numbers for titles, you might be a JW.
41. If the first names of most of your best friends are either-"brother" or "sister", you might be a JW.
42. If you've never watched Friends or Sienfeld, you might be a JW
43. If your church is a "hall" and a sermon is a "public talk", you
might be a JW.
44. If you wash cars or windows for a living but still own five suits, you might be a JW.
45. If you've never worn comfortable clothes in your life, you might
have been a JW, from birth
46. If you can have a bible study without a bible, you might be a JW
47. If you're 25 years old and have never kissed anyone but your mom,
you might be a JW
48. If you go to New York for the weekend and spend the whole day in a publishing factory in Brooklyn, you might be a JW
49. If the words "New Light" do not remind you of the hardware section at K-mart, you might be a JW
50. If you think morning coffee break is a perfect time to preach to
someone, you may be a JW.
51.If you think that service to God can be measured in hours, you might be a JW.
52.If you think men are superior to women, you may be a JW.
53.If you think sex is a yucky thing you must endure, you may be a
female JW.
54. If you think you're entitled to have sex regardless of what your wife thinks, says, or how she feels, you might be a male JW.
55.If you think that a higher education is bad for you, you may be a JW.
56.If you think bringing magazines to your hospitalized "worldy"
neighbor is the most loving thing you could do ... you might be a JW.
57.If you think it's unfaithful to God to get an education or get a good paying job, you might be a JW.
58.If you check The WT Index everytime you have a question about
anything, you might be a JW.
59.If you find out your coworker's mother died, and your first thought is not, "Oh, how awful," but, "This is a great opportunity to talk about the Kingdom!" ....you might be a JW.
60.If you think a Buick is a spiritually superior automobile...you might be a JW (Or you might be right):)
61.If the thought of entering a Christian book store sends shivers
up and down your spine, you might be a JW
62. If you expect to receive Christmas presents but not to give them,
you might be a JW
63.If hearing the term "governing body" causes you to become awestruck, you might be a JW
64.If you think the term pioneer refers to someone other than
Davy Crockett, you might be a JW
65.If you think of window washing as a career move you might be a JW.
66.If you think attending 5 meetings a week is a delightful spiritural experience, you might be a JW
67. If you think Santa is another word for Satan and the elves are
demons, you might be a JW
68.If you feel weak in the knees when you hear the term "apostate", you might be a JW
69.If you think your "mother" lives in New York City, you might be a JW
70. If you think all four door vehicles are "witness wagons", you
might be a JW
71. If you feel guilty for having natural desires, you might be a JW
72. If you think 1914 is the year to end all years, you might be a JW
73. If you think YOU conjectured the year 1975, you might be a JW
74. If your closet is full of cheap polyester suits, you might be a JW
75. If you never owned a Christmas tie, you might be a JW
76. If you think the sound of a door slamming shut is Christian
persecution, you might be a JW
77. If you think. Russell, Rutherford, and Franz are gods in heaven, you might be a JW
78. If you have a tendency to refer to books by color instead of by
title...You might be a JW.
79.If you read all of these, and didn't allow yourself to laugh...
...you're definitely a JW!
80. If you hear "Along the Watchtower" by Jimi Hendrix or "Walk of Life" by Dire Straits and you feel spiritually refreshed, you might be a JW
81. If you think the New World Translation is the least biased and most accurate translation, you might be a JW
82. If you think it took 1,935 years to get 144,000 true Christians, you might be a JW
83. If you think 1799 is the start of the last days, 1874 is when Christ returned, and 1914 is the conclusion of
Armageddon, you might be a very old, disfellowshipped JW
84. If you think "The Finished Mystery" which was released in 1917 was "meat in due season", you might be a JW who has
never read the book.
85. If you think the "Should You Believe in the Trinity" brochure is nothing but honest and accurate information, you might be a JW
86. If you think the destruction of Jerusalem occurring in 607 BCE is soundly supported by historical evidence, you might be a JW
87. If you think "Jehovah" was in the original writings of the New Testament, you might be a JW
88. If the Bible makes a statement and the Watchtower says, "Logically, this cannot mean what it says", and you believe the Watchtower is correct, you might be a JW
89. If you view cleaning up a messy backyard as practice for working in the New Order, you might be a JW
90. If gospel music makes you cringe, but secular music makes you feel good, you might be a JW
91. If you believe there was a Governing Body before 1971, you might be a JW
92. If you watch "Oprah" and you see the people who pass the microphones and it reminds you of a meeting, you might be a JW
93. If you believe that New Light that becomes Old Light and then becomes New Light again is God's way of doing things, you might be a JW
94. If you think the Watchtower was preaching the truth in the years 1914-1919, you are definitely a JW
95. If you go to "Home Depot" and go down the aisle where the doors for homes are displayed and you feel the urge to knock on them, you might be a JW
96. If the "ding-dong" sound on the Avon commercials gets you excited, you might be a JW
97. If going to 7-11 is something to look forward to, you might be a JW in field service
98. If you have no construction skills and you still go to all the nearby quick-build Kingdom Hall projects, you might be
a JW trying to get out of field service
99. If the WT Society used to preach a certain teaching years ago and you deny they ever did, you are a good JW
100. If you own a carpet-cleaning or janitorial business and have half the young men at the KH working for you "under the table", you just might be a JW.
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
i used to be in charge of arranging public speakers in our congregation and remember making fun of the clergy because many of them 'bought' their sermons that they gave in church.
i now believe that was a 'myth' for the most part.. however, it didn't occur to me that jw's were no different!
they got their sermons 'free' from ny.
You know they can't take the risk of some brother getting up there and actually having an original thought in his head! A little leaven, you know.....
I remember a brother who studied with my sister and me telling us he had to cut the study short to go "work" on his talk. Actually what he meant was that he had to memorize it so he wouldn't have to keep reading the notes. They have to make it look like you were NEVER reading it off a pre-written piece of paper.
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
after having so much fun with englishman and the wol administrator, i decided to have some more fun with other well known posters.. .
kent and meatloaf?.
norm and law and order's george dzundza?.
DDDuuuhhhhh----guess I should have read page two first!! Feeling stupid....
Is it too much trouble to do it again?
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
after having so much fun with englishman and the wol administrator, i decided to have some more fun with other well known posters.. .
kent and meatloaf?.
norm and law and order's george dzundza?.
Okay, now I'm pissed as hell! All the pics are red X's!!! Why can't I see them????
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
watch tower bible & tract society clinical laboratory of brooklyn.
the watchtower is running a lot of strange businesses, and this one is just an example.
they are listed as a medical laboratory by new york state department of health - health care reform act (hcra).
And what exactly is it that they do here? Hmmmmmmmm?
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
"a lot of his control over the masses was thru "brainwashing" ,mass hysteria, and out and out fear of disobeying his fiendish commands!!!".
what does this sound like to you?
i would like to hear your opinions and then i will tell you where i got this quote.
Hi Karen! Nice to see you here. Miss you.
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
