Just remember where you came from and try to be a little more peacable with those that bear you no ill will.
Right back to you, bboy.
(edited to fix smiley face!!)
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
Tatiana
JoinedPosts by Tatiana
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68
finding friends outside the Borg - a Scary thought
by lydia inhas anyone else found that the teaching of the "outside world" being a "bad association" limits your involvement and ability to make new freinds?.
if so how have you overcome this and any suggestions to helping those suffering from these feelings?.
lydia
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Tatiana
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10
BOO-HOOs are Welcome here!
by tyydyy injust wanted to find out if anyone has experienced some of the emotions that are mentioned in this article.
feel free to express anger, sorrow or elation.
timb.
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Tatiana
Wanted to post this here also.....
I went back and slowly read Bgurl's post, to see if I still felt offended as I did last night. I did.
quote:
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I'm not trying to belittle anything anyone has been through but EVERYONE, in my experience, has had some awful thing or other happen to them throughout their life.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------This is true, bgurl. And we all know this. I have friends who had terrible things happen to them as children and adults. I don't think you will find anyone here who would ever belittle a "worldly" (I use this term not as an insult, but just as a 'word') person's bad experiences, as you have ours. Your quote says you aren't, but the rest of your post clearly shows it.
What you have to remember is that in addition to being "cultisized" for 20/30 years, we also have been molested, seen our children/mothers/fathers/wives/husbands die right before our eyes over the blood issue, seen friends and loved ones commit suicide, been shunned for no other reason than we had different ideas, been physically abused (as I was) by our parents and husbands. And this was condoned by the society.quote:
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Maybe a mindset less 'boohoo, i have been screwed over and noone other than a JW could possibly understand my pain' and more of 'I, like many others in the world, have had a uniquely horrifying experience that i will share with those who show interest and possibly educate someone to the horror that can occur due to being a JW to those who might otherwise remain ignorant' would be a better mindset.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------I think most of us here do share our experiences with friends who show interest. Along with my boo-hooing, I do my best to make sure no one I know ever becomes involved with this cult. And I am working very hard right now to get my niece out of it. A friend just the other day told me he always thought JWS were very nice and didn't see anything wrong with them. He said he always talked to them when they came to his door. When I got through telling him what they were really like, he had a different viewpoint.
quote:
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Instead of thinking of people outside your former religon as 'worldly' think of them as people just like you with their own stories of pain and happiness to share. Some of whom you will get along with and alot of whom you will never have a friendship with. But learning about anyone, regardless of weather the great friendship materialises, is a rewarding experience.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Worldly" is a term that was drilled into our minds for so many years, to me it just refers to anyone who never was a witness, or left the org. I don't use the term to insult. I don't think of the word as representing "evil" people. I don't think Xena meant that at all. That's the problem. We, as former witnesses, realize that when we say this word, we are not belittling ones who were never in the org. If you have never lived in our shoes, you will not understand this. I'm sorry, but if you have never been part of a cult, you will not be "just like us". I feel your above statement was condescending.
quote:
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I think JWs are spoilt with this instant friendship that acompanies joining the organization. In the real world it just isn't that easy. You need alot of confidence and balls to go out and offer you emotions to possible rejection. But it's worth it when you find one or a few people you can truely connect with.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Believe me, Bgurl, when I tell you we, of all people, KNOW this. And if there's one thing we DO have, it's BALLS. We chose to leave a cult and be shunned/ostracized/rejected, by all we loved and held dear. Rather than stay and be or have hypocritical friends. We understood what the real meaning of friendship was, or we would all still be there.
quote:
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True friends are earned through work and exposing your self, you feelings and thoughts with others. They are not handed to you on a plate with a set of beleif systems.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------To me, this too, read like another insult. Somehow you seem to think we have no idea how to do this. I think we know even more so what true friends are. And how very important it is to find them. We have the BALLS to go out and try to make new friends, even after all the rejection. All the disillusion. All the people who think we are
quote:
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a little odd
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quote:
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sometimes you ex's can seem a little odd to one who has never experienced such 'programming'. Your thought processes are sometimes confusing to someone who has grown up with only logical thought. Also exhisting in such a confusing place with so many limitations is bound to cause alot of psycological oddities you may not even be aware of that others may think odd without an understanding of your history.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Here you contradict what you said earlier. We are "just like everyone else". You say yourself, in this quote, that ones who have never experienced "programming" will not understand. Bgurl, we are VERY aware of our oddities. Even with an understanding of our history, we are still considered odd by some. And yet we have the courage to go out and make friends. Bear our souls. Work through the anger. Help others. And still boo-hoo on the board to ones we KNOW will understand.
I know Xena did not mean anything as an insult. She is a very kind person. And if anyone DOESN'T think "worldly" people are "evil", it's her!
But, I felt insulted by your words also. And that was after sleeping on them all night and re-reading them this morning. Sorry, but I think if you continue to read here, you'll see alot more boo-hooing before we're done.April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
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68
finding friends outside the Borg - a Scary thought
by lydia inhas anyone else found that the teaching of the "outside world" being a "bad association" limits your involvement and ability to make new freinds?.
if so how have you overcome this and any suggestions to helping those suffering from these feelings?.
lydia
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Tatiana
I went back and slowly read Bgurl's post, to see if I still felt offended as I did last night. I did.
I'm not trying to belittle anything anyone has been through but EVERYONE, in my experience, has had some awful thing or other happen to them throughout their life.
This is true, bgurl. And we all know this. I have friends who had terrible things happen to them as children and adults. I don't think you will find anyone here who would ever belittle a "worldly" (I use this term not as an insult, but just as a 'word') person's bad experiences, as you have ours. Your quote says you aren't, but the rest of your post clearly shows it.
What you have to remember is that in addition to being "cultisized" for 20/30 years, we also have been molested, seen our children/mothers/fathers/wives/husbands die right before our eyes over the blood issue, seen friends and loved ones commit suicide, been shunned for no other reason than we had different ideas, been physically abused (as I was) by our parents and husbands. And this was condoned by the society.Maybe a mindset less 'boohoo, i have been screwed over and noone other than a JW could possibly understand my pain' and more of 'I, like many others in the world, have had a uniquely horrifying experience that i will share with those who show interest and possibly educate someone to the horror that can occur due to being a JW to those who might otherwise remain ignorant' would be a better mindset.
I think most of us here do share our experiences with friends who show interest. Along with my boo-hooing, I do my best to make sure no one I know ever becomes involved with this cult. And I am working very hard right now to get my niece out of it. A friend just the other day told me he always thought JWS were very nice and didn't see anything wrong with them. He said he always talked to them when they came to his door. When I got through telling him what they were really like, he had a different viewpoint.
Instead of thinking of people outside your former religon as 'worldly' think of them as people just like you with their own stories of pain and happiness to share. Some of whom you will get along with and alot of whom you will never have a friendship with. But learning about anyone, regardless of weather the great friendship materialises, is a rewarding experience.
"Worldly" is a term that was drilled into our minds for so many years, to me it just refers to anyone who never was a witness, or left the org. I don't use the term to insult. I don't think of the word as representing "evil" people. I don't think Xena meant that at all. That's the problem. We, as former witnesses, realize that when we say this word, we are not belittling ones who were never in the org. If you have never lived in our shoes, you will not understand this. I'm sorry, but if you have never been part of a cult, you will not be "just like us". I feel your above statement was condescending.
I think JWs are spoilt with this instant friendship that acompanies joining the organization. In the real world it just isn't that easy. You need alot of confidence and balls to go out and offer you emotions to possible rejection. But it's worth it when you find one or a few people you can truely connect with.
Believe me, Bgurl, when I tell you we, of all people, KNOW this. And if there's one thing we DO have, it's BALLS. We chose to leave a cult and be shunned/ostracized/rejected, by all we loved and held dear. Rather than stay and be or have hypocritical friends. We understood what the real meaning of friendship was, or we would all still be there.
True friends are earned through work and exposing your self, you feelings and thoughts with others. They are not handed to you on a plate with a set of beleif systems.
To me, this too, read like another insult. Somehow you seem to think we have no idea how to do this. I think we know even more so what true friends are. And how very important it is to find them. We have the BALLS to go out and try to make new friends, even after all the rejection. All the disillusion. All the people who think we are
a little odd
.sometimes you ex's can seem a little odd to one who has never experienced such 'programming'. Your thought processes are sometimes confusing to someone who has grown up with only logical thought. Also exhisting in such a confusing place with so many limitations is bound to cause alot of psycological oddities you may not even be aware of that others may think odd without an understanding of your history.
Here you contradict what you said earlier. We are "just like everyone else". You say yourself, in this quote, that ones who have never experienced "programming" will not understand. Bgurl, we are VERY aware of our oddities. Even with an understanding of our history, we are still considered odd by some. And yet we have the courage to go out and make friends. Bear our souls. Work through the anger. Help others. And still boo-hoo on the board to ones we KNOW will understand.
I know Xena did not mean anything as an insult. She is a very kind person. And if anyone DOESN'T think "worldly" people are "evil", it's her!
But, I felt insulted by your words also. And that was after sleeping on them all night and re-reading them this morning. Sorry, but I think if you continue to read here, you'll see alot more boo-hooing before we're done.April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
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102
Jon passed away this morning
by jonjonsimons inmy name is kevin and i am jon's partner.
jon gave me his password a few weeks ago and asked me to post to the board if something happened to him.
as some of you know jon had been undergoing cancer treatment since the end of july.
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Tatiana
For Kevin....who loved till the end....
TIME IN A BOTTLE
JIM CROCEIf I could save Time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
'Til Eternity passes away
Just to spend them with youIf I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with youCHORUS:
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time withIf I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by youApril
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
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5
In honor of jonjon....
by Tatiana ini don't know about anyone else, but i would really love a day in honor of jon, with no bickering, insults, or name-calling on the board.
just love for each other.
or the imaginary "brother/sisterhood" of joelbear.
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Tatiana
COME ON!!!!! Where is the LOVE???? Thomas Poole, where is your compassion??? Your Christian humaneness??? A special person left this world. Can't we share any love tonight? Without preaching? Please?
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
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5
In honor of jonjon....
by Tatiana ini don't know about anyone else, but i would really love a day in honor of jon, with no bickering, insults, or name-calling on the board.
just love for each other.
or the imaginary "brother/sisterhood" of joelbear.
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Tatiana
I don't know about anyone else, but I would really love a day in honor of jon, with no bickering, insults, or name-calling on the board. Just love for each other. Or the imaginary "brother/sisterhood" of Joelbear.
Life is so damn short. A truly good person is gone. FOREVER!!! And here we are still bickering. I know, I know, life must go on.....
but can it go on tomorrow??? PLEASE??? PLEASE???
Thomas Poole, please be the Christian you say you are. We are not evil. You'll see. Just for a day.......
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
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102
Jon passed away this morning
by jonjonsimons inmy name is kevin and i am jon's partner.
jon gave me his password a few weeks ago and asked me to post to the board if something happened to him.
as some of you know jon had been undergoing cancer treatment since the end of july.
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Tatiana
{{{{Kevin}}}}
I am so very, very sorry. Jonjon was someone I wanted to get to know better. We chatted just yesterday. Now I can't stop the tears. This is a lifetime of goodbyes. We all will have to say goodbye to ones we cherish and love. Eventually we all say goodbye to life itself. We have to learn to say a good goodbye. I know you did.
A quote by Vladimir Nabokov, "Life is a great surprise. I do not see why death should not be an even greater one."
Let me know what he says, okay?
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
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Our town just got hit by terrorists!!!!!!!!!!
by MrMoe inmy boss just called on a cell phone - he went to arby's for lunch and 3 people of arabic decent ran in an threw some sort of chemical on the floor and ran out.
us 41 was closed and he is being quarantined.
i am worried - hope he is ok. hopefully this is a fluke, but i just don't know.
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Tatiana
OMG, MrMoe, please let us know what's going on!!! This is too damn much! I hope your boss is okay.
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
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What about the children?
by sweetone2377 ini feel sorry for all jw's who get sucked in by the thinking "we will love you as long as you are good enough for jah.
" but, i feel worse for the children.
adults are able to decide for themselves, whether it's a religion that they want to persue.
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Tatiana
Lisa, believe me when I say it's not that hard for my keyboard to get WAY ahead of my brain!! LOL
And I think it's wonderful that your kids and mine can walk around like "demon triplet babies",(toooo funny) or the "Grim Reaper", (as my nine year old wants to be, and not think twice about it.
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
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What about the children?
by sweetone2377 ini feel sorry for all jw's who get sucked in by the thinking "we will love you as long as you are good enough for jah.
" but, i feel worse for the children.
adults are able to decide for themselves, whether it's a religion that they want to persue.
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Tatiana
Lisa, now that I read it again, it is hysterical! But, it wasn't meant as literal. Kids these days don't actually have the "hell scared out of them", after being raised on Jason and Freddy movies! And "normal" is being scared silly with imaginary ghouls, goblins, and ghosts, instead of having your house torn apart by your jw mom, while she looks for real "demonic objects", and REALLY scares the hell out of you, so that you dream about demons and Armageddon.
April
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)