Posts by madisoncembre

My Book of Kingdom Hall Stories (Part One and Two)

by madisoncembre in

i have a few thoughts i would like to articulate as part of my blogging hobby and not least, my mental health in making sense of this crazy life inside the jws.

the link to the blog is below.

i will summarize as best i can for the more casual reader.. when i was 14, i was in a poor state of mental health and shipped off to my not-as-zealous jw aunt and uncle's home for the summer.

madisoncembre

I have a few thoughts I would like to articulate as part of my blogging hobby and not least, my mental health in making sense of this crazy life inside the JWs. The link to the blog is below. I will summarize as best I can for the more casual reader.

When I was 14, I was in a poor state of mental health and shipped off to my not-as-zealous JW aunt and uncle's home for the summer. My cousin is my age and to this day, my only JW relative who was also a close friend. It started off well by staying up late, getting away with things my parents wouldn't let me get away with. I make friends easily and this well-off family with a nice swimming pool had us over often. My cousin was friends with their daughter, the same age as we were, and I also became close with her.

It was through them that I met the pedophile elder in Part One, and his a$$hole brother-in-law I write about in Part Two. This elder already had a thing for younger women and his bride-to-be (at that time still underage) was at this particular gathering. Show-off that he was, he had to be the one with the new Playstation. It was only a ruse and as we all were to discover later, he had been molesting this family's youngest daughter.

To make a long story short, this elder was disfellowhipped after the second witness came forward (her sister), but due to the accuser's own disfellowshipping, her story is denied by many to this day. The reason this comes to mind now is that I have heard that this pedo elder has been disfellowshipped yet again for marital infidelities, though not CSA this time. Part two is about his brother-in-law, who was and is an abusive and racist a$$hat. He had names for everyone (including me!) and as a Minsterial servant, had the "privilege" of running the sound system. He'd use his own snarky words to call this one brother an ape from the platform.

I conflate these two stories because they came out of one summer far away from home and it showed how the same boys club type of atmosphere covers up, tolerates and even encourages abusive men. Since I am going through a divorce with such a man, I'm more wired in to noticing things like this now that I am putting an end to it.

Madison.

My Book of Kingdom Hall Stories (Part One and Two) / Madison's Blog | The Lowdown with Madison (webador.com)

9

New Blog - Divorce has been filed from JW husband!

by madisoncembre in

the divorce from the jw husband has been filed (finally!).

here are my musings on the subject in short form:.

still feel a bit sad about the entire thing.

madisoncembre

Foolednomore:

But that's not how Watchtower saw it. Because I was Divorced not by Watchtower terms, I was not free to remarry. That's alot of bull.

Though I am not in this situation, I am hearing a lot about this now that I am out and it seems to be quite a problem. They are using old Hebrew law for a modern time period. Divorce isn't a good thing and a high divorce rate is a sign of societal problems, but it shouldn't be "at fault" either. Some people are just not meant for each other or people change and grow out of relationships. Keeping people in this state only serves to hurt people more. In my case I just couldn't live with him and his lies anymore. We could have just lived separately but he'd never support his own children.

9

New Blog - Divorce has been filed from JW husband!

by madisoncembre in

the divorce from the jw husband has been filed (finally!).

here are my musings on the subject in short form:.

still feel a bit sad about the entire thing.

madisoncembre

Phizzy:

I hope the Divorce process goes as smoothly as possible

I do too! One can hope but there is also the reality. I haven't gotten my ex's response yet in court, so that will probably be something that will tell us where this is headed. I'm keeping my demands reasonable and not demanding the world. My lawyer warned me about that and not look like I am trying to punish him because judges do pick up on those kinds of things.

9

New Blog - Divorce has been filed from JW husband!

by madisoncembre in

the divorce from the jw husband has been filed (finally!).

here are my musings on the subject in short form:.

still feel a bit sad about the entire thing.

madisoncembre

TonusOH:

Do they allow that? I was under the impression that remarriage is only okay if adultery has been proven.

In a previous blog, I related my husband's infidelities. So I am guessing he'll be scripturally free to remarry once this is sorted out since he's the adulterer. According to him he's going through the judicial process with the brothers. But his father is an elder so expect a slap on the wrist. Probably will lose his privileges for awhile. Who knows how it works. Works for them, most certainly not us.

Maybe a disfellowshiping is in order, but just a brief one to make it seem like there are no double standards.

9

New Blog - Divorce has been filed from JW husband!

by madisoncembre in

the divorce from the jw husband has been filed (finally!).

here are my musings on the subject in short form:.

still feel a bit sad about the entire thing.

madisoncembre

Diogensister:

Were you ever a professional writer? You certainly have a writer's flair. Either way it must be cathartic, your blog.

No, but thank you for the compliment. I just put down what I am thinking at the time, and you are right, it is cathartic. If people read it and it helps and/or educates them about JWs and their cover-up of abuse, then all the better. But it's not my primary reason for doing so.

I really regret not maintaining my own (well, it was a diary back then, not a blog)for my own children.

I never really thought of it that way, but it's a good way to think. It's a moment in time they can look back at and think to themselves what their mother was going through and what he thought pattern was at the time.

9

New Blog - Divorce has been filed from JW husband!

by madisoncembre in

the divorce from the jw husband has been filed (finally!).

here are my musings on the subject in short form:.

still feel a bit sad about the entire thing.

madisoncembre

The divorce from the JW husband has been filed (finally!). Here are my musings on the subject in short form:

Still feel a bit sad about the entire thing. The effect on my life and particularly that of the girls.

Not looking forward to the long battle, and we have yet to hear his response which I am expecting will be a long one since I have alleged abuse.

My parents have invited me back to live with them for the duration of the divorce. Old "come back to Jehovah!" trick I am not falling for.

Gossip in the KH has been going round and round. But I am the one who is not going to meetings, so I must be the bad one.

My estranged husband has told my daughter he will likely re-marry.

My thoughts on the entire thing, in no particular order.

The Dog Days of Divorce (Yes, it was filed!) / Madison's Blog | The Lowdown with Madison (webador.com)

Madison.

26

The Last Days of a Pioneer

by madisoncembre in

i am starting a new topic since this blog entry is about something different.. i have posted before about my recent split with the jws.

no exit comes out of nowhere and there were seeds planted long before this.

i have never enjoyed field service.

madisoncembre

Foolednomore:

I Pioneered for a month. But my parents and I came to the conclusion that this No way of supporting myself. So I took college courses. The elders were very angry by this action. I ask them all in a meeting. Are you going to support me? How about 100 dollars from each of you a month?

Exactly! I am almost at the point myself of taking college courses. They have a big ask of you, and all they have to say in return is to live simply. I am lucky that didn't apply in my case because of my father-in-law but there are so many instances of pioneers living in poverty that they just don't seem to give much thought to. And they think that poverty is such an OK thing to be in as long as those hours get put in! How about hours you wasted when you could have been working to support yourself, or in your case, go to college courses.

26

The Last Days of a Pioneer

by madisoncembre in

i am starting a new topic since this blog entry is about something different.. i have posted before about my recent split with the jws.

no exit comes out of nowhere and there were seeds planted long before this.

i have never enjoyed field service.

madisoncembre

But of course, if he really took seriously the words he spoke from the platform, he could have easily pioneered - 70, 80, 90, 100 or more hours per month. He literally had nothing else to do. It's a "life saving vital work", right?

What truly bothers me about that is not that they are getting 10-20 hours worth of time in or that they are wealthy. They pester other people to put in the long pioneer hours when they conveniently allow themselves exemptions from that rule. And you're right, this elder was totally set for the pioneer service unlike the people they loved to counsel to do so. But he didn't. That's what they give those talks about, right?

"What prevents you from pioneering?"

Nothing in their case. So when are they signing up? And if not, why not?

26

The Last Days of a Pioneer

by madisoncembre in

i am starting a new topic since this blog entry is about something different.. i have posted before about my recent split with the jws.

no exit comes out of nowhere and there were seeds planted long before this.

i have never enjoyed field service.

madisoncembre

Rattigan350:

I never wanted a Bible study because I can't imagine myself sitting across from someone and telling them to read this paragraph and then to answer this question, and then to tell them how to live their lives and then having them do the questions for baptism.

I had two Bible Studies at different times during my pioneer days. I was excited about getting one, but it quickly turned into something else when I found that I had to actually defend the organization on every point and it started feeling like I was the one taking a difficult and proctored test. So many times it deteriorated into the throwaway line of "I'll have to do research and get back to you". Elders weren't of any help since they always pointed you to WT literature. It's crazy that we were trying to sell people on making huge live altering changes and the only proof we had was of something our religion had printed years ago.

I ended up turning over my first Bible study to an older sister who was better equipped and experienced. My second one was a younger woman who thought of me as a friend and liked having me over. She wasn't listening to anything I was saying and I don't blame her. It all hammered down the point that this all had no point.

26

The Last Days of a Pioneer

by madisoncembre in

i am starting a new topic since this blog entry is about something different.. i have posted before about my recent split with the jws.

no exit comes out of nowhere and there were seeds planted long before this.

i have never enjoyed field service.

madisoncembre

Funny how the ones pushing the hardest for the rank & file to take up "full time service" are the ones least worried about making ends meet, either because they happen to be one of that rare breed of wealthy JWs

My father-in-law is one of these such people. He's wealthy even by worldly standards and is never shy about taking vacations to his beach house or overseas supposedly to attend conventions. Yet both him and his sons (my estranged husband included) are all notorious for putting in as little time in the field ministry as possible. And they are the ones giving the talks from the platform saying "pioneer pioneer pioneer!". He can easily retire and go into the pioneer work. But he has resisted it for years, and I think for precisely that reason - he doesn't want to be held to this standard. He'd rather run his company and get richer than retire into full time service.

Hypocrites, all of them. I am so fed up with all of this.