It's something I wonder about, when I think about my friends and family still in... if they are happy, who am I to judge that their happiness is inferior because it is based on a sham?
I think however that I must agree with SixofNine: if your friend Kevin is as happy as he appears to be, he is probably very, very rare. Because most witnesses are being hurt by the organization, in very tangible ways: our parents and family and friends still in who suffer because they have little hope for their "dead" loved ones (er... no pun intended), who will not only die at Armageddon, but also should be treated as mostly dead now.
Witness kids suffer. Even those who think they are doing what is right and are happy because of that (like I was) are still aware of the fact that they are postponing doing things that they would like to do because they have to. It doesn't take a very long list of missed educational opportunities or voice lessons or or school trips or hanging out with worldly friends (without the guilt trip) or being in a play or just not always being so darned different from everyone else every second of every day, to see why being a witness can eat away at whatever happiness is derived from "having the truth".
I could go on, but the point I'm trying to make is this: there are many unhappinesses that ail good, obedient, loyal witnesses who wouldn't ever dream of doubting their doctrine. I wonder how many people there are who are simple enough that they would be truly happy with a lifetime of a low-skilled job, an insular routine of meetings and "good" association, unquestioning acceptance of every nuance of every dictate that comes out of Brooklyn, the necessity to always "put on a good face for the world", etc. I tend to doubt that many people could naturally be 'perfect' witnesses without chafing at some aspect or another, at some time in their life.
The only thing that separates us from the ones still inside is a matter of degree: they're not unhappy enough to go through the massive upheaval of re-examining their entire life and belief structure and deepest held convictions, just for the promise of finding something happier. (Well, and then there's everyone else who's caught in between loved ones, and no one has yet come up with a way to really solve that problem...) At some level, perhaps unconsciously, I would venture to guess that most witnesses who appear generally satisfied, who are generally happy with life, at some point have made the mental calculation that the short term cost of finding out the truth and acting on it is too much for a little bit of continual wear and drain from a slowly corrosive religion. So they stay.
That doesn't make it any easier for us, though. I heard from my mom today that my best friend called her up (after receiving a post card from me, I'm guessing) to tell her that she couldn't have any contact with me because her conscience wouldn't let her. She tossed in that innocent little zinger that many here have had to face at some point: when my friend was on the verge of leaving, she said, I was the one who encouraged her to stay. Shoulda, coulda, woulda.... she appears happy now. Who am I to judge?
But if the balance ever tips the other way, if "happy enough" ceases to be enough, then I think we owe it to our friends to be there to help them find real happiness.
-T., who is a sucker for living (as opposed to existing)
