Posts by Unstuck

8

Catholic church and ARC

by zeb in

the catholic church has begun its formal reply to the arc.. how long before the wt makes a reply...in english without obfuscation...

Yeah - you're asking too much Zeb. I'm mean, the catholic church has even apologised to its child sexual abuse survivors and I don't see WT doing that at all - ever. As was captioned in a cartoon here is Aus, WT is still waiting on an apology from the survivors!

23

How do you feel you have progressed ?

by stuckinarut2 in

in the months or years since leaving the organization, how do you think you have progressed as a person?.

(or if you have regressed too i guess?).

what aspects of personal development are you happy with?.

Unstuck

Once I'd dealt with the anger at having been lied to (although I can still whip that up on occasion), I could sort out who I really was without having a religion define me. And I found that I enjoyed learning that. Well, I'm still learning that.

I'm also really excited to learn new things, new concepts, ideas - mull them around and work out how I feel about them, what I think about them. All the time, refining and progressing in my opinions. I'm learning not to have hard and fast opinions and to listen more. I am very much enjoying NOT BEING JUDGMENTAL and embracing people of all different backgrounds, thoughts and sexual preferences. It's extremely liberating to let go of the shackles of a cult although at the same time I have to pay attention to the trauma inflicted and make sure that I address those matters as they arise.

It's a journey but I'm much more positive now, have fantastic support in my hubby and through this forum and other FB support groups, have made awesome new friends and am ENJOYING LIFE!!

114

The biggest news of the year for Mr. and Mrs. Totally ADD

by Still Totally ADD in

jw
friends

this is bigger than christmas and birthdays wrap into one.

thanks to the australian royal commission our youngest son has woke up.

we received a e-mail from him tonight where he apologized to us for shunning us all these years, how bad he felt for doing this.

Unstuck

Oh this is so wonderful!! I'm so happy for you both!! Shedding happy tears for you both....

Love

Unstuck

56

Spiritual "Protection" - a Menace on Psychological Development

by Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho in

not quite a week ago, @lost in the fog created a thread entitled: do you have this illness?.

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5187824140681216/do-you-have-this-illness.

in my year of being on this forum, i have browsed many a disillusioned thread of ex-jehovah’s witnesses expressing similar symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder when detailing their awakening - my own story included.

Unstuck

Wake Me - I’m speechless. Being fortunate to know you as I do and know your challenges - WOW! My respect and admiration grows continually. You’ve managed to somehow articulate so comprehensively what waking up is all about and how it feels. Thank you for putting the words in order when often we can’t do that to describe how our worlds have turned upside down and how we struggle to make it turn right despite needlessly fractured and all too often permanently destroyed familial relationships.

I’ve known and appreciated for a long time the depth of your intelligence and your considerable scope of human understanding but this post has redefined my appreciation. You are a truly precious, amazing and to-be-treasured individual. Stuck and I count ourselves privileged to be your friends.

Love always

Unstuck

2

Faulty Decrees Conceal Criminals

by Bill Covert in

just finished barbara on a&e she quoted from her article "faulty decrees conceal criminals" posted on watchtower documents.

you folks should take a couple minutes and read the article.

her quote was that lev.5:1 required a witness to a crime to report the crime to police.

Unstuck

I'll check it out now - thanks for the tip Bill!

Can't wait to watch the A&E episode down here in Aus. It's not yet available on the A&E website.........

I'm gunna get popcorn on the way home tonight!!

16

Random Musing of an ex-JW between a rock and a hard place.

by StarTrekAngel in

many of you may recall pass postings of mine where i mentioned my plans of moving away from my current neighborhood.

mainly because my office got moved and now my commute is about one hour each way.

my employer is pretty flexible so showing up on time, for now, is not an issue.

Unstuck

Hey StarTrekAngel

I haven't read all the responses - but your story resonates with me on several levels. I am the sole-carer of my father (a 2nd gen witness) AND I commute three hours a day to work. Well, three hours a day is a good day - city traffic being what it is, let's not talk about a bad day!

I spoke with my father just last night about my non-belief for the first time. I'm not D'fd or D'ad (actually I'd be very tempted to DA if it wasn't for my father).

Long story short - I'm very happy to care for my father. Thus far Stuck and I spend about $150-200 a week supporting him, with extra when necessity arises. Then there is all the time taking him to appointments, making those appointments, managing his finances etc etc. I don't care if we have different belief systems, he is my father and I'll look after him.

However, if he sees my non-belief as a problem, then he knows what he risks. I won't continue to support him (hey we'll save some money and time) - he's the one that will lose out, not me. I'm preparing myself mentally and emotionally for the day that will inevitably come where he will reject me because his religion tells him to. In one way it will be a relief but it won't be my choice, it will be his - I will make that perfectly clear.

I know this may sound callous but I'm sure discerning ones will pick up that there probably has been history and it isn't the best of relationships anyway - and you'd be right.

StarTrek - you sound like a wonderfully supportive husband (much like mine is) and you are agonising over a manipulative trick your MIL is using. What does your wife think? How does she feel? I agree with comments of others - this is actually her call. I've reconciled myself to a disintegrating relationship with my father but I won't be cajoled or coerced into going back, no matter what tactics are used (which I told him last night). Has your wife reconciled herself likewise? If your wife needs someone to talk to at all, please PM me. I got two good ears and can empathise.

Love to you and your wife

Unstuck

50

Receiving so much hate recently....

by stuckinarut2 in

jw
friends

well, as you all know, my wife (unstuck) and i are not df or da.. we just stopped attending several years back after my "apostate" online activity was found by a nosey employee of ours while she was working in our office (long story if anyone wants to know - it would have to be another thread).

we never met with any elders - no congregation judicial activity occurred (as we would never consent to do so anyway).

so our policy has been to be the same kind, loving, normal people we have always been.

Unstuck

G'day all and thanks again for your support.

And update in the vein of this thread - I had an interesting talk with my father last night. It was the first time that I had the courage to tell him a few things. He's older in years now and very-in, raised as a witness, knows nothing else and after several events, he clings to it as the only thing left to him.

I assured him that in all I said, I had no intention of shaking his faith or changing his beliefs - all I wanted to do was explain where I was at. He knew, because we had discussed it before, that I was extremely troubled over the organisation's handling of child sexual abuse. He asked if he could do some research - but of course, only researched from WT sources, which he told me about last night - and I couldn't help myself but tell him that I had already viewed what he had found and that it was unacceptable and no where near enough of what had to be done. That the policy really should be quite simple: you hear about abuse, go straight to the authorities. Anyway, this opened the conversation for the first time to other topics, we discussed the flood, 607 and the meaning of the word apostate. I told him that I don't believe anymore, that Stuck and I will never come back.

I know it broke his heart because I know the clap trap their told. He told me he was worried for me because we are so close to Armageddon. I told him that I was fine with that - totally fine. That if Jehovah brought Armageddon tomorrow and judged me for destruction, I'm ok with that. (That's because I don't believe any of it, and if it did happen, I wouldn't want to live in some jacked up, 1984-style, utopian madness, with a tyrant ruling over you! I didn't tell him that).

We changed the subject soon after to day-to-day nuts and bolts (I'm his carer). But I know that his mind is reeling from what we discussed. Me, on the other hand, am undisturbed and content with what I have said. I don't have anything to lose - even if dad shuns me, as I'm his carer, he is the one that loses big time, not me.

Anyway, thought I'd share as things are fairly interesting at the moment!

50

Receiving so much hate recently....

by stuckinarut2 in

jw
friends

well, as you all know, my wife (unstuck) and i are not df or da.. we just stopped attending several years back after my "apostate" online activity was found by a nosey employee of ours while she was working in our office (long story if anyone wants to know - it would have to be another thread).

we never met with any elders - no congregation judicial activity occurred (as we would never consent to do so anyway).

so our policy has been to be the same kind, loving, normal people we have always been.

Unstuck

I wouldn't send texts or emails unless you are prepared for a bad/no response and are ok with that. Why put yourself through that?

Mentalclarity - you are so right! When Stuck sees JWs, he goes out of his way to show kindness and be the same person that he always was in the past. I think he is trying to prove that he has not changed - that he is kind and thoughtful still.

Except, the real truth is, WE HAVE CHANGED! We are no longer trapped in a cult, we no longer believe JW doctrine, we have freed ourselves of all of that. While I get the point of Stuck's behaviour and what some have posted here - that kindness heaps coals on their head and yes, I agree Pale Emp, it is cognitive dissonance that has got them all hot under the collar (and I think they're frustrated because they don't have enough on us to take any definitive action so that just adds to their anger) I have to ask - what is the point?

Why act like we haven't changed? We have! Why act like we don't know what they've said and what they think about us? We do! (Ok - we don't know exactly what they've said but I think all of us can guess and be pretty much accurate!) Why should that bother us now? We have fabulous new friends and so much support and we are so very lucky to have each other and believe me, we talk non-stop at home about all sorts of stuff, not just which JWs are shunning us, but what can we do to help others in the exJW community? What new podcast or thought or concept have we just come across that we can share with each other?

Stuck - from me, let's not let these people upset us. They honestly aren't worth it. We ARE better than them, we behave better than them - but we don't need to show them that. They clearly don't appreciate it and it's just wasted effort. We just need to keep proving that we are better, and keep getting better, to ourselves. Let's focus our energies on helping others - we have so much to give!
Everyone else - I know moving out of the area would help tremendously. We've been in the area for 20 years and for Stuck it's harder than it is for me. I work in a totally different area so I'm not as exposed as he is. I'm torn between knowing that moving would help and not wanting to put ourselves through so much change just because a few culty people don't like that we are around. Who are they to make us feel like that? Who are they to make us go running somewhere else? Practically, it would be very difficult to move and would cost resources that we don't have. In the meantime, we need to cope with the situation as best as we can. My way is to not invite situations where I come into contact with them. If it happens, like it did at the dentist the other day (which actually went ok - I wasn't shunned, which surprised me) then I will be the best version of me that I can be - but I'm not going to go looking for them. I can't be stuffed!!
Thank you everyone for your support. It was all of you that got Stuck through the years that I wasn't awake. I didn't know that he had posted the events of the last few days - so logging on today during my lunch break and seeing all of your words of encouragement and support has really made my day!
Love and light to you all - mwah mwah!!
Unstuck

39

Major Article in Today's Philadelphia Inquirer on JW Child Abuse

by Room 215 in

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/jehovahs-witnesses-sexual-abuse-children-beliefs-rules.html.

Unstuck

Wow - thank you so much for posting this. Recently, I had a discussion with my still-in father who seemed to think, rather naively and ignorantly, that child abuse among JWs was just an isolated incidence in Australia, care of the ARC shedding light on it. I told him to research it - that it was a worldwide epidemic. And that WT policies were largely to blame. I'm going to use this article next time I see him - it's brilliantly written and well-researched.

I also told him that I fail to understand why it is necessary for Satan's organisation to have to correct God's organisation over a matter of crime - shouldn't they be showing the rest of the world the way if they truly do represent God? Mmmm, that went down well. Not that I believe in either entity anymore, but my father does and I'd like to see him THINK rather than tow the party line. I will probably not be successful but at least he cannot argue one point I am trying to make - that my morality is higher than the organisations, as I will not tolerate or excuse criminal activity and I won't tolerate it in an organisation either when I become aware that a blind eye is being turned to it.

I'm glad to see the increase in media material on this issue. Even in the short time I've been awake, I've seen it increase. I hope it gives some comfort to survivors that more and more people are paying attention - a day of reckoning has to be coming for WT.

33

Do you miss that initial "high" ??

by stuckinarut2 in

do you remember the first time you found out "the truth about the truth"?.

yes, it was confronting, shocking and life altering.

yes it was hard to deal with.. but, along with that, many have said that they experienced a sense of thrill, euphoria, or joy when realising the facts about the religion that held us captive mentally and physically for so long.. it was liberating to learn some of the controversial teachings etc.

Unstuck

Like others above have commented, I was incandescently outraged and furious at the lies when I first woke up. That took a long time to settle down and I can still whip it up if I focus on it, the lost opportunities and potential, the damage to my view of myself and others, the decisions that I would make so differently now.....

But.....

There was this really odd feeling of jubilation and liberation of first learning that you no longer have to chain yourself to an organisation and adhere to what it tells you to do - that you can decide for yourself! And for the first time you analyse what you really think, without guilt or fear or obligation (got them a different way around but you know what I mean) and I think I will always be constantly reevaluating what my beliefs are, testing for inconsistencies and contradictions. That buzz, or high, I think I will always experience - just being free to be me, it's a wonderful thing!

Love & light to you all,

Unstuck