i wanted to introduce myself real quick.
i was raised as a witness from the age of 10. i am now 23 yo.
i was disfellowshipped at the age of 19 for marrying a man who was studying.
I'm very much in love with a witness. I'm 42 YO, she's a few years older than I.
With all the abuse, and damage, WHY would anyone REMAIN A WITNESS?
My God...! Some of you have read & responded to my post on the DATING, & RELATIONSHIP BOARD, "JW & NON-JW RELATIONSHIP".
Doug (TRC)
hello folk's;.
i am not a witness, but a very dear friend is.
a woman that i love very dearly.
a while back, she was without a job. I wanted very much to help in any way I could. She refused. Could she have been thinking that I was expecting something in return????
Being trainned to accept "conditional" love. (which to me is NO love AT ALL.)
Not meaning to offend anyone, but to me...being a witness, trainned to (basically) believe in "conditional" love, is very sad.
I've been doing study concerning WS, and it has given me a greater understanding and compassion for the Witnesses who come to my door.
Used to, I was very harsh, it was very easy to trip them up scripturally. I thought I could reach them that way...showing them scripturally where they were wrong. But being unable to to find biblical proof for what they were proclaimming, they became frustrated and left.
NO MORE! I know now, that they are programmed to be that way. Brain-washed. I am no longer critical to them, but patient.
The night mentioned above..where I said that I saw the spiritual lonliness in Angel's eyes...it was burried under so much indoctrination, I barely saw it. My God that hurt.
Again, I don't mean to offend anyone, but imagine it this way...
Invision the loveliest, most beautiful piece of tapestry you've ever seen. Then imagine the ugliest, most vile piece of cloth you've ever seen.
Now, invision that lovely beautiful tapesrty sewn onto the ugly vile cloth...the ugly vile cloth has now woven itself throughout the lovely beautiful tapestry...
That's what's happened to Angel. Only I see PAST the ugly vile cloth, and see her.
I love "Angel", and will by the help and grace of God, NEVER give up.
She is now, the way I was before I got saved in 1980. I KNEW I wasn't saved...even though I rebelled terribly, I knew in my heart they were right...that was part of the anger I felt.
They were right, and I knew it.
Only thing is, "Angel" honestly believes she has God's favor. She has decieved herself in believing this, just like most older witnesses.
Not meaning to boast...but I've cried for her salvation so hard and for so long for her, that my face has been swollen. My eye-lids wouldn't even close properly.
I've prayed, that I would take her place, but I know I can't.
I've told her, that if she were in a hostage situation with a gun at her head by some crazed lunatick, I would take her place. THAT I can do. But salvation is something SHE and she alone must work out. I CAN'T take her place there. And that brings tears to my eyes.
What can I say...? I love her.
Doug
hello folk's;.
i am not a witness, but a very dear friend is.
a woman that i love very dearly.
i will let you all hang who ever the heck wrote this crap.
november 8, 2001 awake page 9: some battered women may need to seek assistance from the authorities.
at times, a point of crisis-such as intervention of the police-can cause an abusive man to see the seriousness of the action.. page 12: should the battered wife leave her husband?
to have her! A woman should leave the bum! And the guy that beat's his wife...IS NO MAN AT ALL! He's a pathetic excuss! End of discussion! Period!
Doug
hello folk's;.
i am not a witness, but a very dear friend is.
a woman that i love very dearly.
I'm really not. All I have met are very nice people. But I AM against watchtower!
When I consider becoming part of something like the witnesses, I dissect their beliefs and doctrine to find out WHAT they believe and WHY.
See, you folk's have been mentally trainned not to question the authority of watchtower. I haven't. I can see thing's that you've been trainned NOT to see.
I don't say that to sound hateful or harsh...please don't take it as such. I say it with Christian love.
Doug
hello folk's;.
i am not a witness, but a very dear friend is.
a woman that i love very dearly.
Dear Sweetone;
Thanks for the advice. However, one of Angel's friends (in the congregation) came to see me. I was interested in the witnesses. I also told him what a fool I had been about coming on too strong to Angel.
He said he would talk to her. He told me later, that he had NOT spoken to her, but turned the matter over to the elder's! I felt betrayed. About a month later, Angel & I were talking, and I told her Ihad spoken to her friend, and that he had turned it over to the elder's. she knew nothing about it!
The elder's didn't say a word to her!
i have an 8yr old step-daughter caught up in the madness of the jws through unrelenting fear based brainwashing by her mother.
my husband and i would like to know if anyone has been in a similar situation and is able to help us let her know that there is another more loving way of living in this world.
its frightening to see the damage my husbands ex is doing to this inocent little girls mind.
hello folk's;.
i am not a witness, but a very dear friend is.
a woman that i love very dearly.
Well, I've done some searching lately, and discovered this "attitude" problem. It makes me feel like a fool. I realize NOW, I was selfish. That is to say that "I" (emphasis) got in the way.
No, I can't just "let her go", not from my heart anyway...she means too much to me. When we started out, everything was fine. Then she quit where we were working, I missed her terribly and became obsessed with her. My "obsession" is what really got in the way....
I emailed her the other day, explaining that I'm not going to contact her for a while, that I'm going to give her some space, or as one of you put it, "give her some time" which is what I should have done in the first place.
I crowded her - pushed her right over the edge. She's become the love of my life. But see, I BARELY gave us time to be FRIENDS!
And yes, I know all about "brainwashing" as someone refered to it...It makes me very sad. We talked one night, she told me that she "can be a real witch" at times. I said "yes, I know...I can see it in your eyes."
I didn't mean to, but I guess that remark "cut" a bit. She looked me in the eyes and said "Is that what you really see?" Seeing that I hurt her, my heart sank. I hung my head for a monent...looked into her eyes and said "No...when I look into your eyes, I see love."
I never told her this, but I also saw a coldness in her eyes. NOT an evil coldness...a "lonley" coldness, a spiritual coldness. For the sake of her privacy, I'll call her "Angel" - that's my nickname for her.
It was like the "outside" Angel was holding the "inside" Angel prisoner. It was like a front she was putting on, but yet it wasn't HER putting it on...it's like she had been TRAINNED that way.
My God that hurt. Seeing that in the eyes of this wonderful beautiful sweet woman, and knowing there was nothing I could do about it. And the thing is I KNOW WHERE THE "TRAINNING" CAME FROM. - WATCHTOWER!
I mean, she's been a witness all of her life...born and raised. A person CANNOT be a Witness that long and not see something wrong with Watchtower. With all the false prophessies from Watchtower, all the changes in their doctrine over the years...There are EX-witness now, who were disfellowshipped years ago, for believing things Watchtower DID NOT believe, but NOW DO!
And all of this is inspired by WHO? - Jehovah God? - GIVE ME A BREAK!
I'm sorry folks, but Jehovah God DOES NOT say "Thou shalt not" and then 50 years later, CHANGE IS MIND and say "Well, I made a mistake, it's ok now."
Look, I know it's self-deception...I know you're taught, that to loose the favor of Watchtower ("God's Organization") is to loose the favor of God...I mean, good, well meaning JW's are brain-washed into this mode of thinking. I know that's the "problem" with Angel....
It's fear - fear of loosing God's favor! Well, you can't EARN God's favor anyway! - It's the gift of God. All you have to do is accept Christ! Yes, I know Watchtower has concocked this stuff about Christ being "created", That's why Watchtower endorses the NWT! Take the NWT back to the original Greek & Hebrew...Watchtower does not even use the rules of PROPER GRAMMER for heavens sake!
Use the 1611 King James version. The NWT is so biased, it's like reading the Watchtower HANDBOOK!
But not being allowed to read any religious material, except that sactioned by Watchtower?! Every cult is the same way... That's how they keep you...MIND CONTROL. In CHRIST, theres FREEDOM!
And before you asked, NO, I DO NOT BELIEVE IN DENOMINATIONS!
Look folks, I love Angel more than any of you realize. I know I'm on the outside looking in...but I can't leave her in a spiritual desert. I love her with everything in me. I'll spend the rest of my life doing this if I have to. NOT HARRASING HER - NO!
But in praying for her night and day. I've tried on my own...look what happened. I have to leave it in the hands of Jehovah.
For it is not his will that ANY should perrish, but that all come to repentance, through Jesus (the) Christ to everlasting life.
Doug
i am still one of jehovah's witnesses, although i disagree with a number of the tenets of the watchtower society.
i feel that i cannot preach their version of the "good news" to my neighbours and i told an inquiring elder from the congregation that i felt that their was a gulf between the society's version of the good news and that preached by christ.
they now want to give me a "shepherding call".
Hi
I am not a witness, but I've thought about it. but I've had questions concerning some doctrines. I talk to witnesses, and either no one can explain it, or I get different answers, or they get frustrated and angry and leave.
And I asked valid questions using the NWT. Such as John1:1-2, in the light of Deut: 32:39. Simple questions. I'm not trying to throw a wrench, but I have questions.
See, when I consider becoming part of a religion or something, I dissect it and look at each part, wanting to know WHAT they believe and WHY. Is that wrong?
I take the Bible literal - as God's word.
hello folk's;.
i am not a witness, but a very dear friend is.
a woman that i love very dearly.
Hello Folk's;
I am not a witness, but a very dear friend is. A woman that I love very dearly. However, to avoid any chance of invading her privavcy, I will not mention anything dealing with her identity.
Currently, she is mad at me...actually, angry. I've done some stupid things, and I guess I pushed too hard, and put her right over the edge.
Anyway, I've got to get her back into my life, and I need advice.
I'm currently 42, I'll be 43 in November. She's a few years older than I am. I don't think that age matters when you're in love. I believe, when you're in love with someone, you're in love with someone.
I should state here, that I believe the Watchtower organization to be a cult. I don't mean to offend anyone.... I appologize if I do. I would like to have JW friends. I like to be friends with people REGARDLESS of their religious affiliation. However, let me state this also, I do not believe in denominations. If you're a Christian, denomination doesn't mean anything.
I've told her this. She is a very dedicated witness, and has been since becoming one as a child. She will not associate with me, she says, because I am not a witness. She doesn't even want to be friends.
She is a very beautiful woman, physically, and personality wise. We used to work together. We would come to each others area and visit, and have a great time. She knew I liked her.... but one day she quit, due to an inconsiderate manager. She emailed me & told me that night.
Well, I'm still there, and I can still see her there. She's been gone now about 3 month's I think...seem's like 3 years.
Anyway, with her gone, I became obsessed with her - a BIG mistake!
Well, as you might guess, everything went downhill from there. I asked for her address & phone number, she said "no". But did I respect that? Nooooo. ANOTHER BIG MISTAKE. I went behind her back and got it anyway. Understandably, She was mad at me for 2 months over that. I appologized. She called me at the store one day (at work), a business phone, she called me, and we talked & laughed for 2 1/2 wonderful hours! I got written up over the matter, my manager knew who it was, he said "next time, I WILL terminate you."
I told him, the phone call "was priceless". She's been very nice, and given me chance after chance, but I always seem to say or do something stupid. Now, she says "I have my eyes on someone else". I can't stand it! She asked me awhile back after we saw each other at a concert, "Are you jealous?" with a smile on her face, like she thought it was great...I emphatically said "YES!"
I'm not trying to change her. I love this woman with all of my heart -I told her so...and not just a meaningless line like some guy's use.
But I feel so WORTHLESS without her. I mean I am NOTHING without her in my life. She's put up with so much crap from me.
I told her that I would give my life for her...again, I ment that, and still do. I gave her the example, that if she & I were in a hostage type situation, I would take her place. I didn't say that to give her a warm fuzzy feeling or anything...I ment it - still do.
About 2 weeks ago, I sent her a box of a dozen long-stemed roses. Ok, fine. BUT, I also included a note that said "Will You Marry Me". Only after knowing her for 6 month's. A real stupid thing to do.
HELP ME!!! I need advice. What can I do? Have I gone too far? Well, I know I went "too far", but I hope not to the point of no return! I just miss her & love her. You know the saying "Abscence make the heart grow fonder"...? I went WAYYYYY overboard.
I've never met a woman like her. I NEED her. She says I'm selfish in my wanting her. I don't mean to be...And yes, maybe I AM obsessed with her...I don't know...I just know she means the world to me.
Am I just a hopeless romantic or do I need professional help?
BTW, my name is Doug.
Your helpful advice please... This letter doesn't even BEGIN to scratch the surface...and no, there is no one else - at all!
And no, I don't think of her "sexually", that is, invision myself having sex with her and becoming involved in self-gratification...NO!
I think that is not only wrong, and unfaithful to her, but also sick.
She asked me one time, (a friend from my past told her), she said "did you tell some guys you were working with one time that any guy who goes to a strip club has got some mental problems?" I said "probably..." And no, I don't feel that a CHRISTIAN ESPECIALLY!...has any right in a strip club! Men go to those places for one thing and one thing only....and it's NOT because they have good food!
I mean, ladies, ask yourself...would you want a man who shows interest in YOU, going to a strip club? Probably not.
She is a very sweet, precious woman...I'd do anything for her. She currently is unemployed, but she REFUSES to let me help in any way. I guess because I'm not a witness. And I WANT to help in any way I can...money, ANYTHING.
Thanks for your help and advice. Doug (TRC)