Posts by TheStar

17

Why I Became an Inactive Witness

by Dutchy in

jw
friends

i used to be a gungho witnesses.

i was even a full time pioneer with small children and i used to drag my kids with me from door to door, in the heat of summer and in the cold of winter.

goin from door to door in buildings where crime was rampant and where i should not have been in the first place.

TheStar

I'm ordering it right now. I don't know why I've kept putting it off. I hope Amazon ships overnight! Hehehe.. :)

28

HELP PLEASE!

by TheStar in

jw
friends

i'm a newbie around here.

i have only posted once but i've come in here almost every day to read for about the past month.

this place has been therapeutic for me as i'm currently trying to make my exit out of the borg.

TheStar

Thank you guys. All of you really... It means a lot to find people who care because I'm feeling a little lonely and lost right now.

I still think I should write a DA letter but I'm hearing what you guys are saying and I'm going to post pone it for now. I'll try to fade and see how it goes. I just hope I will still be a sane person at the end of all of this.

Thank you all again for taking the time to post and try to help me out.

I want to get more involved here but work doesn't always permitt it and I can't come in here in the evenings if my husband is around. I'll do the best I can. Again, many many thanks.

Hugs to all of you.

Star

17

Why I Became an Inactive Witness

by Dutchy in

jw
friends

i used to be a gungho witnesses.

i was even a full time pioneer with small children and i used to drag my kids with me from door to door, in the heat of summer and in the cold of winter.

goin from door to door in buildings where crime was rampant and where i should not have been in the first place.

TheStar

Hugs to you too JBean.

You can read more about my story at this thread that I started last week.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=21720&site=3

I wish I could join you guys in the chat and get to know you all better but our system is monitored here at work and we are prohibited to go into chat rooms. I can't do it in the evenings from home because my husband wouldn't appreciate it.

What kind of small things can I say to my husband that may help snap him out? I haven't read Steven Hassan's book yet, I guess I should start there. Maybe I should start a thread about this. I need help in this area.

7

On WTS Ethics & the Golden Rule

by Farkel in

jw
friends

on shunning: do unto others and force everyone else to do unto others.

on blood transfusions: dont do unto others and too bad if they die.. on abuse of spiritual authority: screw unto others and say jehovah told you to screw unto others.. on revisionism of wts history: do unto others and then deny you ever did it unto others.. on false prophecy: do unto others and blame it on the others you did it unto.. on pedophilia: when things are done unto others, demand those others to keep their mouths shut.

and everyone else, too.. on raising children: beat unto others.. on literature sales: charge unto others and make those others also charge unto others.

TheStar

Englishman,

That should be:

Oral Sex: Don't do unto others.

Farkel,
How about:

All don't do doctrines: If you wait on our sorry asses long enough, in a few months or a few years you may be able to and/or be required to do just the opposite unto others.

17

Why I Became an Inactive Witness

by Dutchy in

jw
friends

i used to be a gungho witnesses.

i was even a full time pioneer with small children and i used to drag my kids with me from door to door, in the heat of summer and in the cold of winter.

goin from door to door in buildings where crime was rampant and where i should not have been in the first place.

TheStar

Dutchy,

I'm in the same boat! Trying to figure it all out. It feels overwhelming at times.

JBean,

Please email me if you can. I'd like to know how you've been able to be inactive while your family still is active. This is my problem and I don't know how to handle it. I wanted to DA myself but everyone here seems to agree that it is a bad idea so I'm taking everyone's advice and just trying to fade but I don't know how long my sanity will allow it.

28

HELP PLEASE!

by TheStar in

jw
friends

i'm a newbie around here.

i have only posted once but i've come in here almost every day to read for about the past month.

this place has been therapeutic for me as i'm currently trying to make my exit out of the borg.

TheStar

Yes, please try to find me that link. This is what I need. Legal stuff and the such that I can use to keep the wolves at bay. Thank you so much! Please email me!

28

HELP PLEASE!

by TheStar in

jw
friends

i'm a newbie around here.

i have only posted once but i've come in here almost every day to read for about the past month.

this place has been therapeutic for me as i'm currently trying to make my exit out of the borg.

TheStar

Thank you to all who have responded so far!

I here what all of you are saying... I'm going to have to use the word "but" here..... BUT I don't see how I can slowly become inactive. I get repulsed and angry sitting through meetings, I can't chat with eveyone afterwards and pretend everything is hunky dory... I wish I could, but it's just not in me. Also if I prolong a DA letter, eventually I'm going to have an elder confrontation and I don't want to talk to them, EVER. I don't want to lie or be evasive or worry about how I will answer their question or have to play any kind of mind games with them to have my freedom, again it's just not in me to do this. I won't feel free, I'll be looking over my shoulder all the time. I just want out.

I don't have any children and none of my immediate family is a witness, only my husband and his family. I've decided that if what some of you say is true and the elders try to sway my husband against me, then I'll just have to deal with that if it happens. If he loves me, he won't be swayed so easily and if he is swayed, then my life has to mean more to me than him.

I haven't disclosed everything about myself to all of you. I've sacrificed a lot to be "in the truth". I've sacrificed having the career of my dreams and forfeited having children. I need to start my life, I don't want to waste anymore time.

I know I must sound like a hard head, I just don't see any other way. I need help writing this letter. Do I mention anything about all the errors, lies and manipulation regarding the society? Or do I just say I no longer wish to associate and be considered a JW?

31

Part 18: The Last Stand - My Brother's Gift

by Amazing in

part 18: the last stand my brothers gift .

i had almost forgotten about my brothers gift.

the amalgamated wedding was now well over 2 years in the past.

TheStar

Amazing,

I can't thank you enough for these posts. They come at a time when I really need them. I'd like to ask for your help if you would please. Please read my "HELP PLEASE!" thread that I started today.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=21720&site=3

Please post to me or email me. I really need advise from yourself and all that may understand my particular circumstances.

28

HELP PLEASE!

by TheStar in

jw
friends

i'm a newbie around here.

i have only posted once but i've come in here almost every day to read for about the past month.

this place has been therapeutic for me as i'm currently trying to make my exit out of the borg.

TheStar

I'm a newbie around here. I have only posted once but I've come in here almost every day to read for about the past month. This place has been therapeutic for me as I'm currently trying to make my exit out of the Borg. I'm taking a big step here in writing this post.

I desperately need help writing my DA letter. I'll give some background on me, so that you can know why I need this help, please bare with me here, I'll try not to make it too long and winding.

In short I've been a JW for almost 6 years (including time studied) and have always had my doubts about the society but since their bible study method focuses on cleverly convincing you that they are the only true religion and only path to God, I fell for it and kept those feelings of doubt (that I feel came from having been raised as an independent thinker) pushed away far deep enough that they didn't bother me for years. I don't know what sparked it really, every now and then these doubts would surface back into my mind to haunt me (because, of course, I figured it was Satan) and 6 months ago when I found myself with these doubts again, I decided I needed to put them to rest once in for all, after all if I had the truth I had nothing to fear. But fearful I was... Scared as heck I went to the sources I had been brainwashed into believing were bad, Satanic. I came here, to the wonderful freeing world of the net. Since then, I have looked at every piece of info. that I could find about the society on the net. It's been an emotional roller coaster ride; fear, shame, guilt, hurt, despair, anxiety, anger, relief, joy, elation and everything in between. Sometimes I even feel more than one emotion simultaneously.

I only decided that I knew enough to move on from the JW's a month ago and I have not been attending meetings for only 2 weeks now. I'm getting to my problem; please continue to bear with me.

All these months I had not told my husband about what I was doing and it was really hard to keep all this from him, since he and I share everything and talk about everything. By the time I got to the point where I felt I could tell him, I was also already entirely fed up with the society and couldn't bring myself to attend meetings anymore (2 weeks ago). In other words I wasn't clever enough to figure out that I could slowly feed my husband information that might open his eyes up as well (As Amazing did with his family). Of course this is all a shock to my poor husband and of course nothing I can say at this point will convince him that the organization is not what it makes itself out to be, although in our conversations these past couple of weeks, I have made some very valid points that have left him speechless and I hope that those things will stay in his mind and cause him to see things differently in the future. These conversations have helped us both come better to terms with things and I now especially feel relieved that he has come to agree to disagree with me and has assured me of his love for me. So at least I know that he won't shun me after I get out.

Ok, I'm almost at my problem....

My husband continues to go to meetings and doesn't want to make excuses for me to the friends about my not being there, which I can completely understand, I'm putting him in a bad position. At first, I told him to say that I was ill, and it was true. Because of all this I had been suffering depression and anxiety attacks so it was a good excuse at the time but once I told my husband and since we have been having dicussion over this every night, I feel much better and both the depression and anxiety attacks are gone now.

I would really like to be inactive for a while and give myself time to think and learn a bit more. Give myself time to answer some of my own questions but it doesn't appear I have that choice since my husband is still going to meetings at the same congregation and the elders will soon start to want to know why I've been missing so many meetings.

I feel I need to write my DA letter ASAP because:

1.) I Don't want to put my husband in a position to have to make excuses for me not being at the meetings.

2.) I Don't want to be confronted by the elders about missing meetings. I really want nothing to do with them, I don't want to have to explain anything to anyone. I just want to leave and have my life back. Aaannndd... I don't want to give them the pleasure of disfellowshipping me, so that I can appear to my friends that I'm some horrible unrepentant sinner. NO WAY! I want my friends to know that I made a conscience decicion to leave.

3.) Most importanly I'm thouroughly convinced that the society has conned us all and I want nothing to do with it ever again. Like I said , I just want the life that I lost back. I want to move on.

Here's the problem...

Unfortunately, I have so many things, ideas, questions, and information running through my brain constantly these days, that I can't bring my self to concentrate enough to write the darn letter. Also, I keep debating as to what to say in it. I would like for it to sound intelligent, coherent, reasonable and thought provoking but not angry. I would like to send it to my friends a day before sending it to the elders, so that they know exactly why I left and so that maybe this information in the future may help some of them leave. Buuuutttt... I don't want to include the wrong things in it that might later make my husbands life a living hades. I don't want him afterward being interrogated by the elders and whatever else could come to him because of my letter.

HELP!! What do I do? What do I say? What should I not say? How do I figure this out? How do I tell the elders that the society is completely wrong and I don't want anything to do with the organization any longer but please be nice to my husband in a nice, intelligent way??

I know a DA letter should be in my own words but I'm at a loss, really. Please, I need all of you that have gone through this to chime in and give me advise, like today! I'd be most indebted to you all. Thank you in advance to all who respond.

10

Part 12: October Surprise II - The Sequel!

by Amazing in

part 12: october surprise ii the sequel!

october 1 a new day: looking back on the first parts to this series, one who is an ex-jw can perhaps appreciate these events as no other person.

what may be a little different is how an exit can, for some, such as in my own situation, drag on and on with new difficulties, bizarre twists, and unexpected players on the field.

TheStar

Amazing,

I've been reading your series of posts for past few days. I'm currently making my own exit and have been able to apply alot of what you write to myself. Your posts have been the best source of encouragement for me and have helped me through these very difficult times, I look forward to them everyday.

If it hadn't been for your posts and another particular website, I would still be in limbo without a clue as to what to do... I wouldn't have know how to go forward as I have. One day I almost posted to you in desperation but your post later that day said exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing. You've inspired me to write down my own events as they happen so that I don't forget them later, although right now all I would like to do IS forget.

{{{{Amazing}}}} Hope you don't mind hugs from strangers. Again, my sincerest thanks.