Thirdson

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Posts by Thirdson

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  34

  Tough Question for ExElders...

  by Xena in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  with a friend suddenly confronted with the prospect of being disfellowshiped recently it got me wondering about how an elder feels the first time he disfellowships someone.. the first time you disfellowshiped someone was there regret?

  sadness?

  or a sense of justice?.

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  Thirdson

  I answered Xena’s challenge last night and I’ll add a little more now.

  I never viewed any DF’d person as being cut off from God and not worthy of praying to him let alone say that to a DF’d person. I wouldn’t normally ignore a DF person but I refused to have anything to do with the reinstated child molester and father of my sister’s husband. (I sometimes wondered if God ever listened to his public prayers while he, as an elder, was in an adulterous relationship and later, after being reinstated the first time, when he was sodomizing his stepchildren.) Sam also makes some good points about the inconsistency of JW belief on prayer.

  When my wife’s gay brother was DF’d I reasoned with her family not to cut him off and shun him. After I quit being an elder and left to relocate to the US not a single member of my congregation invited me to have a farewell meal with them. I guess I was already marked as bad association for refusing to go along with a corrupt elder body. The only people who took us out to dinner were my gay brother-in-law and his partner.

  In the past few years I quit the JWs altogether got divorced and remarried. I don’t plan to have any leadership role in religion ever again. I recently refused to be considered for a position on the board of a charitable foundation. I assist my wife in some of her work in both voluntary and church related activities. For me, I serve food and wait tables for the homeless and poor once a month. I guess for some I will never be contrite enough for my sin of being a JW elder, and that some is me.

  Thirdson
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  34

  Tough Question for ExElders...

  by Xena in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  with a friend suddenly confronted with the prospect of being disfellowshiped recently it got me wondering about how an elder feels the first time he disfellowships someone.. the first time you disfellowshiped someone was there regret?

  sadness?

  or a sense of justice?.

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  Thirdson

  I'll try an answer from my limited experience.

  The only JC hearing I sat in (as a fourth elder, the newbie) concerned a brother who left his wife and three kids and moved in with a younger woman. He agreed to attend the JC after the PO had contacted him at his work place. When questioned by the PO he confirmed the facts, stated he had no intention of reconciling with his wife and plainly said to all, "you've go to do what you've got to do."

  It lasted 5 minutes and he was disfellowshipped (I didn't sign the forms but I agreed with the decision.)

  Regret?, sadness? or a sense of justice? I was a real believer at that time but beginning to get my eyes opened. I was deeply sad that it came to DF'ing. I was sad that a man could walk out on his family like that. Was there justice? No. What was achieved? The elders didn't help.

  Did you have doubts as to your qualifications to be making this decision?

  I had lots of doubts but the decision was almost forced. The lack of qualifications was really in helping someone going through the pain of a separation. I was at a loss at what to say to the man's wife. I didn't believe that DF'ing someone was going to "shock" them to their senses.

  Were you nervous, was there any doubt in your mind at all that this was the right decision?

  At the time I didn't doubt it was right decision.

  When it was over did you feel like God's Spirit had helped in the decision making?

  No. The experience left me with more doubts about the whole process. The "brother" in this case had been through the JC process on more than one occasion previously and I felt some elders were glad to see the back of him. I had known the man since I was a kid but had only recently been back in the same congregation as him. It was difficult to face him in the JC setting.

  Now, I regret ever being an elder. I didn't last long. After three years I disagreed with the elder body over another judical matter (lack of action) and resigned. I am glad I didn't get involved in any other JCs it could have been worse.

  A couple of years later my wife left me to find someone else. The sort of mid-life crisis she went through reminded me of the DF'ing case I was involved with. I had stopped attending meetings by this time and I certainly was not going to blab to the elders about her.
  She received some counseling from a psychologist. It didn't help our marriage but it helped her. At least she got some professional help, the very thing elders couldn't provide.

  Thirdson
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  20

  Anyone go to an Internatinal Convention????

  by VeniceIT in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know i've posted about this in the past, but there are so many new people, and sooooo many lurkers i thought i'd bring it up again.

  i went on 2 convetion tours and have to admit we had a wonderful time.

  i also made some really good friends from all over that i haven't been able to keep in touch with.

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  Thirdson

  I went to LA in 1978. I have some photos from Dodger Stadium from the convention I should find out, scan and post. It was my first big trip alone. I stayed with a family who had an apartment in North Hollywood. I had a fun time going to Disneyland, Universal Studios etc. I don't remember much about the convention other than it was hot and they sold real Coca Cola not some cheap cola like at UK assemblies.

  I went to Wembley, London in 1969 as a kid. That was an International, and the biggest assembly I have ever attended. In those days the conventions lasted 5 days and had evening sessions, yuk! How did we ever put up with them?

  Thirdson
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  30

  What Prince Doing these days?

  by Patriot in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  does he go to all his meetings and comment at them?

  and if he does, what do they call him?

  "brother prince..you had a comment?".

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  Thirdson

  I am waiting for a very short black guy in dark glasses and a fat suit to knock at my door on a Saturday morning.

  I expect a visit if Prince goes to his local congregation since I live about 3 miles from his house. I'll tell him to address me as "the JW formerly known as brother Thirdson" and that I go by a sign now.

  Thirdson
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  116

  Whats the dumbest thing you were counselled for?

  by Beck_Melbourne in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was once counselled by the elders for watching 'knots landing'....it became widely known in the congregation that me and a few other sisters would rush home from field service to watch our favourite soapie.

  if we missed it, we would ring each other up for an update...or...if we weren't near a tv we would ask someone to put the phone handset on the top of their tv so we could hear it...pathetic huh...but that was all the excitement we could scrounge up in our otherwise dull and uneventful lives.

  one of the elder's wive's conscience got the better of her...and she confessed to her husband..lol.

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  Thirdson

  For seeing a James Bond movie (Live and Let Die)

  For parachuting/sky-diving (11 times) But not down-hill skiing which was OK, not dangerous.

  For my wife (now ex) taking her shoes off in the meeting.

  Not wearing a tie to the group at my parent's house.

  For playing sports after the group

  For not always bring my 2 year son to the Thursday night meeting when my wife stayed home.

  For my son playing with his books while I conducted the group.

  Thirdson
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  19

  Home Security Code

  by Outaservice in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm just curious how many of you that have/had a home security system used the code '1914'?.

  i know around here you could have broken into any jw's home on a sunday morning using it.. outaservice (who changed his code to 1975!

  )

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  Thirdson

  The twin Kingdom Hall complex I used to go to had 1914 as its alarm code. And I thought we were so original!

  Thirdson
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  13

  If we move to Minneapolis, will we have a life?

  by lauralisa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my mate is flying this weekend to minneapolis for an interview.

  it seems very likely that it will result in a wonderful career opportunity for him.

  my job is pretty portable, and there's no question that i'll go with him if he accepts.. what's minneapolis/st.

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  Thirdson

  Laura,

  You will have a great life here. Even if winter is a tad bit cold and snowy (but not this year) there is plenty to do in-doors and outside. In addition, Minneapolis/St Paul metro area has more theater seats per capita than any city in the US except New York.

  If you do move here I'd like to invite you and your partner to have dinner with Mrs. Thirdson and I. Mrs. Thirdson is a real Minnesotan who grew up in a little town in the center of the state; I'm just an immigrant so what do I know. I do love my life here all the same.

  Thirdson
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  15

  Latest KM Stats

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in november they got 966,528 pubs and 90,542 pioneers.. so, their exploitation of the wtc tragedy and 15 minute.

  publisher policy has worked very well for them.. in december they got 968,126 publishers and 89,808 pioneers.

  again, a big success in exploitation and 'paper' publishers.. i note that the pioneers dropped by 734 however.. maybe some more mass death will help.. metatron

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  Thirdson

  Metatron,

  The 15 minute rule could be having an affect. There is a 0.6% increase in publishers (all types) since the October report. The number of pioneers has declined since October. My guess is that the publisher rate will head back down again soon, the World is almost back to normal.

  Thirdson
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  27

  Love amongst the "brothers"

  by Thirdson in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  the one thing that jws claim is the love they have for one another.

  i am well aware of some of the things that have been done in the congregation for members and i believe real love was shown.

  in times of natural disaster jws have been very good at caring for their own.

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  Thirdson

  Thanks for the replies so far.

  Dazed,

  Thanks for the link. I had missed the thread previously. I am so sorry about the way you have been treated and for your loss. I am sorry if I have brought back painful memories. Tatiana tells a heart breaking story. I appreciate being able to read it this time.

  Laura,

  Your story is very typical, I am glad you keep in touch and have proved to be a true friend.

  Thirdson
• 
  27

  Love amongst the "brothers"

  by Thirdson in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  the one thing that jws claim is the love they have for one another.

  i am well aware of some of the things that have been done in the congregation for members and i believe real love was shown.

  in times of natural disaster jws have been very good at caring for their own.

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  Thirdson

  The one thing that JWs claim is the love they have for one another. I am well aware of some of the things that have been done in the congregation for members and I believe real love was shown. In times of natural disaster JWs have been very good at caring for their own.

  But the examples I could cite as proof of JWs brotherhood have a flip side. And it is that side I am interested in. There is a wealth of experience on this board and I want to use this as example of the selective "love" of JWs. Would any care to share their experience. I am interesting in personal or family experiences not hearsay. I am interested in stories of help given when new and the withdraw of support when you were deemed spiritually weak or you were cast of the right "clique".

  Have real is this love or is it a sham?

  Thirdson