Tinkerbell4125

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Posts by Tinkerbell4125

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  61

  My biopsy test results are back - good news

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  wooheee .

  i'm cancer free.

  i am so relieved.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  Lady Lee, that's great news! We're so glad to hear that you're cancer free!!!!!! I'm glad that things are looking up for you!!!
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  46

  Women and abusive relationships...I don't understand?

  by obiwan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  why do you stay in an abusive relationship?

  do you feel that it's your responsibility to change him?

  do you feel you "owe" him.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  Before I met CC, most of the men that I had relationships with, were to some point abusive. Why? The way it was explained to me was ....sometimes we are drawn to what is familiar to us. My father was abusive, therefore it really effected my self asteem. With a father that was abusive and a mother that didn't know to protect me, after awhile, you don't feel so good about yourself.

  I would tolerate the abuse because I didn't feel I deserved better. Sad but true. Also, usually the abuse doesn't start in the beginning of the relationship. It's after the abuser has settled into the relationship and taken control and you feel you have fallen in love with the person. Once I figured out why I was drawn to these types of relationships, I realized I could change this. A person can stop the cycle and find a loving relationship, when you start looking for the right qualities in a peson, and realize that you deserve to be treated with love and respect. I'm living proof of that.

  I hope this helped you alittle.
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  34

  Johnny Cash and John Ritter have died

  by obiwan in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  .

  this so bums me out.

  i'm not a big johnny cash fan, but he was a cornerstone for the country music industry.. john ritter was a funny guy, i wiil always remember three's company.. they will both be missed.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  What a sad day. My parents were big Johnny Cash fans. I didn't think Johnny would do well after he lost June this year, but I'm shocked about John Ritter. So sad. They will be missed.
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  39

  Something I've never told you........

  by Tinkerbell4125 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've really been struggling over the past few months.

  when craig and i got married, i didn't invite my dad to my wedding.

  six weeks later he takes his life.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  I love you guys!

  Thank you Lady Lee, Oh I mean, Mama! =;o)

  Myself, we'll hook up soon, I promise.

  Cruz, I'll call you! You're a southern gal too! I knew you were alright! I'm in Nashville Tenn. Don't be surprised if you don't get a call from me from out of the blue!

  I'm tired and drained today...gonna rest up today..gotta work tomorrow.......

  Love to you all...........Tink
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  16

  Remind Your Relatives To Shun You!

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  look, i get confused!.

  the problem is that witnesses these days are often so uninvolved and lacking in real friendship that i don't know if they're.

  shunning me or not!

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  Tinkerbell4125

  I have j.w. siblins that actually talk to some of my disfellowshiped and *faded away* ex j.w. siblins. I think the reason that they don't talk to me is because of my stand on the Silent Lamb issue. It put me in the catagory of an apostate. I've never had a problem of speaking my mind and they are threatened by that. I think some of my ex j.w. siblins keep their mouth shut about the hovah witnits, out of respect for our die-hard j.w mother that has passed away. My j.w. siblins will speak to them, but they don't do lunch. There comes a point when you just let it all go. It's just too unhealthy and toxic to deal with anymore. It's their loss for sure!

  One thing for sure, love is thicker than blood and I've found that love in many friends. I am truly blessed with some great friends and a loving husband. I also have some loving family left, and I realize that some people don't even have that, so I am thankful for what I do have.

  I'm thankful for you guys too! I hope you all know that! You've pulled me up off the floor many times!
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  39

  Remembering September 11, 2001

  by UnDisfellowshipped in

  1. social
  2. current

  remembering 9-11-01:.

  i encourage everyone who wants to, just to post their own personal memories and experiences of 9-11-01 here.. also, here are a few things you may want to look at:.

  http://september11th.com/silence.htm.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  9-11 was so devastating. I remember CC calling me and telling me to turn the t.v. on. I was glued all day. Total disbelief. I saw the second plane hit the tower. I actually jumped out of my chair! I still can't belive it. My heart hurts for the surviving families. We all know this is a tough time for them.
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  39

  Something I've never told you........

  by Tinkerbell4125 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've really been struggling over the past few months.

  when craig and i got married, i didn't invite my dad to my wedding.

  six weeks later he takes his life.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  This morning I sit down at my computer and I can't believe all the replies!

  I've read every word to every post and words can't come close to justifying my appreciation. I will really take to heart each and every word you said. It means more than you'll ever know. In the past, I have attended a support group for suvivors of suicide. Since I am approaching the anniversary, I will go back for awhile. The grief for this is so intense, it makes it hard to deal with it. I've always taken great pride in being strong. Through my life I have endured many tough things and always, ALWAYS picked myself up, dusted myself off, and started back up full speed ahead. I want people to know that if they are depressed or hurting, that you can get help. When you take your own life, you change the lives of those around you forever. Sometimes it's unbearable.

  Cruz, I am sorry to hear that you have gone through this too. My dad shot himself too. He walked into the living room and told mom that he was *sick and tired of being sick and tired* and put the pistol to his head. My mother aged 10 years that night and to know that he did that in front of her is something that I will never *get over*. I watched him die later in the intensive care unit. . I hate what it's done to me. I would love to talk to you too sometimes, not just about our fathers, but on other things too. There's just something about knowing the other person has been through the same thing you have.

  Bebu, I never looked at forgivness as a gift before. That is great advice something that I will definately strive to do.

  Lady Lee will you adopt me? =:o)

  Myself, we go back a long way. I'm sorry I didn't show up to Noidea's party at the 101st Airborne Resturant. Can we hook up at the next j.w meet-up. I haven't been in a long time. WorldyGirl went last week, but I haven't heard how it went. Can we try to hook up soon for grill out or something? I really would like to catch up on things.

  You guys are too much! I do feel better today, *with your help*. Thank you all again!

  Tink
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  39

  Something I've never told you........

  by Tinkerbell4125 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've really been struggling over the past few months.

  when craig and i got married, i didn't invite my dad to my wedding.

  six weeks later he takes his life.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  I've really been struggling over the past few months.

  When Craig and I got married, I didn't invite my dad to my wedding. Six weeks later he takes his life. Now I realize that he didn't kill himself because of that one thing, but I do feel like it contributed to his suicide. It continues to haunt me. At that time, I felt that my reasoning for not invited him was justified, but now, I wish I had done things so differently. It kills me to think of how he might have felt while me and the rest of the family were celebrating my wedding. I know it really had to hurt him. I had resentment towards him for the abuse my siblins and I recieved from him growing up. Even though we were on civil terms when he died, I still had and have alot of anger towards him. I am so fustrated that I am approaching the 7th anniversary of his suicide and I still suffer like I do. When does this stop! I feel I haven't even addressed my mothers death because I'm so busy struggling with dads death. I feel the wts played a hugh roll in his suicide. The j.w's treating him like crap because he was the *worldly* husband. Mom was a j.w. Craig tells me I've come a long way, that I can't see how far I've come, but when I get in these waves of emotions, it's difficult to see that.

  Why can't I forgive myself! Why can't I forgive HIM! Why can't I just accept that I CANNOT control everything in this life! I'm sorry to dump all this on you all.

  I know this may be very difficult for some of you to read and for that, I am sorry. I don't mean to upset anyone, but I know a few people here have lost someone to suicide. I know all too well what a unpleasant subject suicide is.

  I feel that all those around me feel that I should be well over all this! I may be wrong, but it's something that is never brought up. I feel so along in my grief sometimes.
  I just get so tired of putting on a happy face, when deep down inside I am suffering so.

  Sorry for being such a downer. It's just a tough time right now. Thanks for letting me get it out and venting.

  Tink
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  56

  HELP!!! HELP!!!! HELP!!!!!!

  by proudassmonkey in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok i need some help from who ever has dealt w. their jw parents.

  this is the email i got from my parents: .

  dear melissa, .

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  Tinkerbell4125

  I got the same letter from my mother in 1985. Brought back how it made me feel, so I know how you feel. Looking back, I can see where I wish I had handled things differently. You've recieved alot of great advice here! I agree with the comment where someone said that it wasn't you are your parents that were making this decision, but the wts. After years of being angry and acting out my fustrations, I realized that I was looking at it the wrong way. I would ask myself, *how can they believe that crap*, but now I realize that it's not weather or not they can believe all that, but rather, that they do! They simply don't have control over their own thinking. Yes, it's sad. And now, without sounding arrogant, I feel sorry for them now. I regret that it has to be this way, but I've learned to accept it. You have to be true to yourself. If you can look at them with pity, you can actully have compassion for them instead of pain and fustration. Reading your parents letter really showed how the wts has it's clutches on them! I think they are die hard j.w.s and they wont change and argueing with them would be a waste of time. Only make it worse. It would really upset me when my j.w. family would ignore me at different times. Now that I'm out of the borg and realize that it's a cult, it's easy for me to feel sorry for them now. If they choose not to speak to me, then fine. I can't control that and I don't care anymore, I can't care anymore, I don't have the desire, nor the energy. My mother died in 1999, still a die hard j.w. She did allow me to visit her towards the end. I had to realize that it was tough on her too, but in her mind, she was being loyal to Jehovah, doing the right thing. But in order for them to respect my views, in turn, I really had to accept theirs. Agree to disagree. You've got to remember that when the j.w.'s act like this, it gives them a sense of power. Power in turn, makes you feel important, a false sense of self asteem. *years of therapy* =;o)

  You have alot of support here! I sure wish I had the internet in 1985! Knowing that others out there have been through the same things and survived, gives you strength to get through it. I hope I've been alittle help to you. My heart goes out to you and I'm sending you a big cyber hug. You hang in there. You WILL make it through this! Be good to yourself and give yourself what you don't get from them!

  Sending you love and support....Tink
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  63

  I am so hurt. JW friend has disowned me :-(

  by Hamas in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i got to hear some real bad news

  i was speaking to my 'best friends' sister only minutes ago.

  my 'best friend' i used to do everything with.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  Hamas, I really liked what Odrade posted! You never know that one day our loved ones will leave the org. I haven't given up hope for my family, but I will say this...over time it gets eaiser. I can actually be around my j.w. family and it doesn't bother me. After awhile, I learned to accept it. It hasn't been easy, by no means, but now I just don't care anymore.

  We learn to form new family and a new circle of friends. See, I've just made one in you!!!