TMS

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Posts by TMS

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  40

  Please explain: Guilt for not having a submissive wife

  by serendipity in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i read someone's post today where he indicated as a jw he had a guilty conscience because he didn't have a submissive wife.

  i'm trying to wrap my brain around that.

  was that a common thing?

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  TMS

  Yes, the line, semi-paraphrased: "If a man can't preside over his own family, how can he preside over the congregation?"

  My wife of 38 years was never the model JW submissive wife. She never hesitated to speak her mind if an elder rule or statement was ridiculous. This made for occasional uncomfortability in my thirty year "eldership". Crudely, some old nitwit elder would ask: "Who wears the pants in your family?"

  The life of an elder's wife can be terrible, at times. Imagine sitting through two hours of Kingdom Hall meetings at the conclusion of which is announced a "short" elders meeting. That meeting turns into an hour and a half. The wife is stuck with kids, Bible studies, passengers, etc., not to mention having to deal with the other elder's wives.

  tms
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  21

  Latest KM encourages JWs to ask for referrals

  by ocsrf in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  i thought i was reading one my sales manuals from work.

  so much of what the watchtower does is right out of any companies sales training manuals.. oc

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  TMS

  Soliciting referrals was an intregal part of the "Truth" book six month study program in 1968.

  tms
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  18

  This "freak'in" Divorce class from another church - damn'it...

  by Confucious in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just wanted to take a second to vent.... me and best friend got the same royal middle finger up the ass when it came to our marriages.. my friend's marriage was much like mine.

  but i'll give you the nutshell of mine only.... was married 11 years.

  pioneered full-time with my wife for 10 years.

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  TMS

  and like you, the elders suddenly sprang to life when I was doing something disfellowship-able.

  ~merfi

  That's all they're trained to do. If you attended a Kingdom Ministry School for the elders, you would see every nuance of the disfellowshipping scenario discussed and rehearsed.

  No practical training for actually dealing with family problems is ever given. Old platitudes like "the Word of God has power", "pray for holy spirit", "being active in God's service is a protection" are the magical answer to any problem.

  Interestingly enough, when the discussion is opened up for elders to ask their instructors specific questions, the questions almost always deal with some aspect of their judicial role: what constitutes proof, what constitutes a "practice" of sinning, how to determine repentence, implementing restrictions, when to rerecommend those who have been judicially dealt with, ad nauseum.

  I think the reason for this emphasis is that giving practical help with family or personal problems goes against several core beliefs of Jehovah's Witnesses. JW's magically become "better fathers, mothers, children, employees" as a result of "applying Bible principles". They are the "happiest people on earth." Worldly counselors using material not based of "God's Word" would simply hijack all this happiness.

  tms
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  18

  This "freak'in" Divorce class from another church - damn'it...

  by Confucious in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just wanted to take a second to vent.... me and best friend got the same royal middle finger up the ass when it came to our marriages.. my friend's marriage was much like mine.

  but i'll give you the nutshell of mine only.... was married 11 years.

  pioneered full-time with my wife for 10 years.

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  TMS

  Would you really want "untrained volunteers" giving you direction in any aspect of your life?

  Elders are given absolutely no tools to deal with marital unhappiness, depression, alcoholism, low self-esteem, etc.

  While one in a thousand JW elders might have some life experience-based advice that could be helpful, the range of specific counsel from the spectrum of men serving as elders would border on idiocy. Some of these good old boys who make you chuckle when they stumble through their Service Meeting parts are absolutely dangerous when trying to help people make life decisions.

  tms
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  18

  Apostate BBQ

  by SickofLies in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was df'ed tonight and celibrated by throwing an apostate bbq!!.

  http://www.quad-central.com/~dan2007/apostate%20bbq/.

  ps - yes, i know i said goodbye, i just meant i won't be a regular anymore, i still love you guys and will post when i can!

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  TMS

  I'm surprised that the material would actually burn! LOL!

  tms
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  27

  My "Unexpected Lunch Date Surprise" --or, Blow me down!

  by LDH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok, the homemade chicken noodle soup is cooking so i have about ten minutes to share something with you.. ****fake name/family relationships alert*** critical info has been changed to protect the innocent.

  i called a business contact that i've gotten to know over the past year today.

  i said, "rico, let's go to lunch.".

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  TMS

  Rico is obviously not of their "sort."

  tms
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  26

  Punishing GB members, COs and elders

  by greendawn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how do you think the gb members along with the cos and elders should be punished for the way they emotionally and spiritually abuse and hurt the flocks of the naive r&f?

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  TMS

  Finding happiness in your life and wasting precious few moments of freedom dwelling on the past.

  tms
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  59

  What kind of funeral will you have?

  by MsMcDucket in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know that this is a morbid topic, but i often wonder what kind of funeral that i should have.

  i mean, i'm not associated with any religion.

  i don't want a preacher there speaking about the afterlife or trying to recruit followers.

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  TMS

  Actually, my wife and I decided many years ago while still very active witnesses, not to have funerals. We wanted no one to spend one minute or one dollar travelling to pay their respects.

  My wife had always favored cremation and I came around to that about twenty years ago. Originally, we wanted our ashes tossed into the Arkansas River. We've modified that to the Laguna Madre, a half mile from our home.

  Ironically, as a witness, I had become sort of a funeral specialist. I gave my first funeral talk at 19 and things sort of mushroomed as people think of you when someone dies. It's such an uncomfortable duty as the natural inclination is to talk about the person we have lost while the Society's outline is an infomercial for Jehovah's Witnesses.

  A few years ago, I wrote a brief account on JWD of the funeral of someone I respected: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/7554/1.ashx

  tms
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  12

  Dungy idols

  by Duncan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  been gone a while, i havent posted a topic here for since 2004, but remembered this story this morning, so i thought id make a post.

  dungy idols!

  ring a bell with you?

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  TMS

  Yes, Duncan.

  There's a lot of shit in the Bible(although, I no longer have a personal copy).

  All JWD posters will be those "slain by Jehovah" and will be as "manure(shit) on the surface of the ground."

  Was it King Eglon who got waxed while "easing nature"(taking a shit)?

  The Mosaic law delicately discussed the proper disposal of excrement(shit).

  tms
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  44

  Here We Go Again: The Annual ``Behave! at Conventions" Harangue

  by Room 215 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  now that the gerontocrats have dispensed with their annual springtime campaign of blustering everyone away from the wine and bread, it's now time to for the yearly decalogue of decorum; an epistle to the clueless.. in the april kingdom ministry the old farts tackle their annual chore of getting their dubbies to somehow behave like normal, thoughtful human beings when let loose on the public away from their kingdom halls.. what do we find on page 5?

  ``reminders" to the rabble not to save seats; not to leave the premises during the noon lunch break, nor to bring booze or large coolers; to tip at least 15% to 20% when dining at restaurants.

  this, i believe is a first; they now feel they have to coach jws on just how much is considered apopropriate by ``worldly" (read ``normal") human beings.

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  TMS

  One year the brothers booked the Radisson Memphis just down the road from the famous Peabody.

  Honestly, the hotel was far too upscale for the Arkansas circuits. I nearly died seeing many JW's dragging trash bags in lieu of luggage.

  The valet parking was another unfamiliar aspect. One sister was crying at the front desk. She had given the attendant $5.00 on the first day of the assembly and thought it was for the entire three days. She was shrieking something to the desk clerk about the Society not telling her about the valet parking.

  Another embarrassment: Because of convention duties, I rode with a young elder to the hotel. Our wives were coming up later. The young brother wanted to eat. I had no money with me. He said he would simply put it on his card. We ordered two $9.00 hamburgers. His card came back denied. He had used his card to hold the room. They locked in his entire balance until checkout.

  The Radisson Memphis was not on the list the following year.

  tms