a large city-wide ecumenical service was in progress when someone smelled smoke and yelled "fire!
" everyone responded in their own individual way.... the church of christ group pushed everybody into the water.. the lutherans nailed a paper to the door declaring 95 ways in which fire was evil.. the episcopalians formed a liturgical procession and marched out in an orderly manner behind an acolyte.. the unitarians concluded the fire had as much right to be there as anyone and announced they would add its unique origins to their open celebration of life.. the christian scientists elected a reader who gently persuaded them that there really was no fire.. the 7th day adventists said it was the vengeance of an angry god.. the jehovah's witnesses wrote an article about it and divided into groups to visit all the other denominations and sell copies.. the presbyterians commissioned a new anthem based on the atonal modalities of the sirens.. the pentecostals sharply rebuked the fire in unknown tongues.. the catholics petitioned the bishop for permission to leave before they had been blessed.. the christians (disciples) asked their pastor to stay out of it and referred the fire to the next board of elders meeting for a response.. the methodists gathered in a corner to pray that the traditional profession of firefighting could be peacefully blended with the contemporary nature of the flames.. and the baptists attempted to appoint three committees and pass an offering plate -- but soon quit speaking to each other after disagreeing whether the word "fire" was a fundamental, moderate or liberal concept.
((billy))
Lutherans do it with grace
Catholics do it with guilt
Pentecostals do it with tongues
Baptists do it in water
Missionaries do it in the field
Quakers do it quietly
Televangelists do it publicly for money
Jehovahs Witnesses do it with one foot in the door
Mormons do it with suits on
Evangelicals try to get everyone else to do it
hello all.. i really do love to post here.
i love getting responses more than anything.
well, my mom pissed me off today.
Thats better i can see you now!very pretty
in france we had a decrease of 2%...a big drop isn't.there are less jehovah's witnesses than ten years ago...but there are more muslems..god gives the increase has he likes it.what happened in your country.who has he world statistics.... excuse my so poor american
Welcome georges,your English(American)is fine
Try these links below.
http://www.jwic.com/stat.htm
http://www.watchtower.org/statistics/worldwide_report_statistics.htm
well, i've made it through the first year!
one year out and still surviving - despite the fact that they said i would come crawling back with my tail between my legs!!.
i cant believe a year could go by so fast and also that you could achieve so much.
just wanted to wish you all a festive time - take care handling the fireworks, but enjoy, enjoy, one and all.
do any of you participate in guy fawkes/bonfire activities?
i'm sure some of us yanks would like to hear about it.
Thanks ZazuWitts,I.W your right Nov 5th is Guy Fawkes Night,but all the big public displays will be on tonight as im sure you will hear.
And what's wrong with the British?
the uk charity commission lists 'the advancement of religion' as one of its 'first group charitable purposes'.. it makes the "general assumption that the advancement of religion is for the public benefit".
the advancement of religion.
for the advancement of religion to be charitable, a religion has to:.
Wasn't there a labour MP who called j.w's a bunch of lunatics?
Prehaps sending him a letter might be an idea?
a circuit overseer, jarome sexton, ma circuit #4 is telling the congregations "the brothers were at ground zero", reading scriptures to firefighters and military personal and they would cry as they heard the words.
"as people ran across the bridge what did they see ' read gods word daily' ".
the dam doors were locked!
A topic from W.O.L,
Brian
WOL Crawler posted 10-19-2001 03:54 PM
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Last night at our service meeting. The brother doing the announcements read an experience from near Ground Zero which apparently came to a sister from Bethel. It related a brother and his wife who, one week after the tragedy, began street witnessing their way towards GZ. They were spreading the message of comfort and hope. Everyone they spoke to listened and were encouraged. Well, it happened to be the same day the president was visiting NY. He noticed a group of people who were smiling and happy and was curious about what was going on. Why would they be so happy just one week after the tragedy. So he sends his secret service men to investigate. When they came back they reported that it was a man and his wife who are giving messages of comfort and hope and people were coming away refreshed. So Bush wants to hear this message himself. He calls for the brother and sister. The security team checked them for guns, etc... and then let them meet the pres. The pres asks them what this message of comfort is all about and so the brother whips out a Knowledge book and places it with him. He thanks the brother and promises to read it on the way back to DC.
OK, great story but it did come from emails on the internet. Has anyone heard this one yet? If it is true then this is really great".
http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/singlewitnesses.
let the hilarity ensue... i've already started over there, i think you should too.. slipnslidemaster:"and now about the cauldron sing, like elves and fairies in a ring, enchanting all that you put in.".
- william shakespeare, macbeth
Trilobite,
Have you got a link for that site?
okay...it's friday, not a cloud in the sky, and i go on vacation tomorrow.
my humor is a little wacked today.
) but this really hit my funny bone!.
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