Thankyou for your lovely welcomes!
A little of my story.... I have had some unpleasant treatment by elders (not judicial, just supposed "loving counsel" and "shepherding" for my husband and i) but otherwise i havent suffered terribly like some on this board have. I fully believe in not leaving "the truth" because of individuals bad behavior. I think whether it had been the truth or not, there are a large number of people who dont act the way they are supposed to according to the WT, and that is on them, not the organisation.
That being said, the unkindness of a large number of elders made me question the whole "appointed by holy spirit" thing about a year or so ago, and so articles in the WT about "loving shepherds" made me gag. It upset me so much that those in responsible positions were not acting like this.
For I while, (as I said i was notreadytorun before) I did some digging, read crisis of conscience, researched the 607 stuff, some of the other rules by the WTS that are not firmly based in scripture, the history of fails. Made me lose complete faith in this organisation.
Because of having all my closest family "in", I spoke to my husband and parents about my concerns, and they were all non judgemental and very helpful to be honest, however my parents are still hard core "its still the truth", I think my hubby has doubts.
I eventually decided a few months ago to just stay in, it felt safe and familiar and I didnt want to rock the boat.
My hubby and I did eventually move congregations, and we had a lovely visit from the elders, they were kind and understanding of some of the difficulties we had faced (wont go into detail, might identify me) so i thought, this is how its supposed to be. I have made good new friends. But my doubts about whether this is the truth or not wouldnt go away.
I am grateful for my good moral upbringing, with the kind of personality I am, I believe the structure has been the best thing for me. However in the last year or so there is so much that just doesnt "sit right"with me. Here are a couple off the top of my head (no particular order)
Birthdays - I want to celebrate them, especially my kids! not enough reason not to!
Blood transfusions - if I need one, if my children need one, we'll get them!! there is not a clear scriptual reason not to - ignorning all the supposed evidence in the Hebrew scrips, since WE ARE NOT UNDER THE MOSAIC LAW PEOPLE, there is only the one scripture in Acts, which could be referring to eating blood as food, or could mean refraining from taking life. We just dont know for sure. Why risk life.
Something that really annoys me recently. WTS over complicating applications of scripture - just a waste of time... for instance recent KM article about bearing fruit, (in jesus illustration he was talking about wheat, the fruit it bears is MORE SEED, so dont be discouraged if you havent got a bible study etc etc, we are bearing fruit just by sowing seed) it cracked me up so much, they are getting desperate.
Also they missapply things, even if the lesson they draw from it is correct, they use scriptures or bible examples that are unrelated. ie at recent convention, they used Abigail as an example for christian wives.... um she called her husband a fool, he ended up dead, she became one of the kings wives. Wierd.
I could go on but so much already been discussed here in other threads, so no need to go on.
I know its not "the truth" and it is really heartbreaking to lose all faith - hence the depression. If God is really there, and actually cares, why no update on the bible in centuries! why not fix s**t NOW! People dont need TIME TO REPENT, they need PROOF HE IS THERE, and RELIEF FROM SUFFERING. I said in the "cosmic pain meter" thread that Id rather be an athiest.
I know I can be inactive (no ministry, odd meeting) without my family or friends shunning me or bothering me too much. And I need to give my husband time to wake up. Not sure I'll ever be DF or DA, but we'll see.
vent over for now. Ill contribute here where I can, but Im a busy girl! Sometimes its easier not to think about things too deeply, just cruise day to day.
Love you all, everyone have a great day please!
Sky
