Posts by SkyGreen

44

Is a slow fade being selfish when you have kids?

by dissonance_resolved in

so i got some great advice to take things very slowly with the husband and kids in order to be able to fade and still maintain contact with my parents and siblings.

but today i got a call from my son's teacher that he was having a meltdown because he was worried about all his friends and teachers being destroyed at armageddon.... first i felt like such a schmuck for ever having allowed that thought to enter my son's head, then i thought, is it psychological torture for me not to immediately correct the situation?

i had a long talk with him about how god is perfectly just and full of love and he didn't have to worry about that at all, but it still seemed lukewarm.

SkyGreen

I am now completely inactive, have been to one meeting since january. I feel for you as I have two little ones myself. Since I have a husband still "in" i have to tread carefully. I am trying to give my kids balance whilst not confusing them, and at the same time hoping my husband fades too so that they dont get completely indoctrinated!

My approach is similar to yours, (even though I question the existence of God), when my 5 year old was saying at xmas - xmas is bad, are they bad guys because they have all xmas stuff all over their house. I said just because WE dont do all the xmas stuff, God allows everyone to choose how they live, so we are not better than anyone else. If he talks about bad people not getting into the paradise (little sponge brain he has, shows you how insidious the brainwashing is!) I counter with, "everyone can learn how to be nice, but if they do bad things like steal or hurt people the police put them in jail to keep others safe". I try to shift the focus off the paradise, i dont want him growing up believing its just around the corner the same way I did. Ive subtly said, its a nice STORY isnt it. But we can be happy and enjoy life NOW, for REAL.

Just wishing my husband would fade now so I can protect my kids from any more brain washing!

26

I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE

by iclone in

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SkyGreen

My husband laughs at the incredulous faces i make on the rare occasion i attend a meeting with him. Sometimes I cant stop myself whispering sarcastic comments in his ear, so its better i dont go!

He jokes "get behind me foul apostate spawn of satan", i hiss "its all liesssss"

All joking aside, Ive decided to keep my comments to myself unless he brings it up - I dont want to tear down his faith in this org. He is quite capable of doing it himself! lol

20

Do you believe that God is using the faithful and discreet slave

by trujw in

it seems that this question is used by elder to trap us and close their minds(the jw elder) to thinking.

if you answer no they wrap up a jc in short order.

i was wondering if any have tried to use a more pointed question to actually get them to think themselves.

SkyGreen

NO HE ISNT!

Now sing after me...

"Hail the apostasy ever increasing,

massive dissension is now taking place....."

77

Distrust and paranoia among faders

by cedars in

jw
friends

hi guys.

i'm interested in knowing whether any other faders out there ever find themselves feeling a little paranoid about establishing contact with other faders or former jws, just in case the unthinkable happens and things turn sour.. personally, i'm now fairly comfortable with the idea that i will be disfellowshipped or disassociated within the next year or so.

i see it as inevitable, and an essential transition in order to do what i want to do with my life.

SkyGreen

yes, eventually i see myself officially DA'd, but Im being ultra cautious with some people because like you I want it to happen according to MY timetable, when its best for my family. It would be nice to be at that stage in time for my youngest child starting kindy or school (2/3 years). But it has to be once my husband is ready too. Im waiting for him.

28

Has leaving the truth( i hate that word) caused you to do things now that you would not have normally done ?

by sieborg in

jw
friends

although we all know that there are many disadvantages of being brought up ( vomit sound) in the truth.

but would you say that leaving has maybe caused you to do some things that you would not have normally have done in life ?

for me personally now i have lots of free time ( mine all mine, evil laugh) i have almost finished my first novel.

SkyGreen

watched the twilight movies.... and enjoying the "American Horror Story - Assylum" on tv. Not scared of demunz!

plan to focus on my kids education and development in sports or whatever they want. Also to go back to school/work myself once my youngest is in kindergarten. spend time/energy/money on home improvements without feeling guilty. Pursuing music and writing, down the track when my kids are older...

so many options, now that Im not focused on field circus until the paradise!

79

Complaints About My False Eyelashes at the Hall. WEARING THEM EVEN BIGGER TONIGHT.

by OneStepOut93 in

okay so i like dramatic lashes.

and my grandma told me all the women are complaining about them being a distraction.

well all i have to say to them is "kiss my ass".

SkyGreen

i think satanus is a gaga fan....

ive never worn false lashes, bought some once but couldnt get the knack of putting them on!

am thinking of going to makeup counter (MAC if possible!) to get them applied professionally for a night out with my hubby in a couple of weeks. rather exciting...

40

Fading with children in tow

by brainmelt in

SkyGreen

Have sent you another pm brainmelt x love sky x

36

Over 4 months, still no response to this letter to the elders!

by Greybeard in

jw
friends

hi everyone, its been over 4 months and i have not heard a response from the elders.

i called one of them a few weeks back.

he said they sent it to bethel and haven't heard back yet.

SkyGreen

That's a great letter, how cruel of them to leave u hanging. But u have been so brave, and who know what good it might do. Consider sending copies to "brothers and sisters" u think might have an open mind? If you're going to be treated as an "apostate" why not make it worthwhile? Just a thought... But of course my situation is different to yours, I don't have the same wisdom as many here, including yourself.

im so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved wife and family. There are no words...

Love and hugs,

Sky x

40

Fading with children in tow

by brainmelt in

SkyGreen

Hi brain melt, I've sent u a pm - we have a login common my sister! To open your messages, click on the little envelope icon at top right of screen, u will probably get an error msg, just click again and u should get it

Love sky x

42

I am new here and need help...or just a listening ear

by Fallingaway in

my husband and i have two small children, one of which recently became an unbaptised publisher and joined the school.

my husband is an elder and firmly committed to our family and loves me deeply as i love him.

i would like to find a way for all of us to fade away as we have family in the organization that we do not want to lose.

SkyGreen

Dear dear sister, i dont even know you but I want to give you a hug

I too have 2 small children and a husband (albeit not an elder, but a former MS) still in as well as most of both our families. Take it slow and gentle with the husband, you might get somewhere. But respect free choice.

I told my husband my doubts and that I can no longer in good conscience share in the ministry. I continue to go to some meetings with him and the kids, and allow him to teach them "the truth", but I do not instigate anything. If he brings things up, I am honest.

f things carry on, as my children grow older and perhaps are considering baptism, I will give them more information from "the other side" I will also not oppose them in extracurricular activities (sports outside of school etc) and I honestly dont think their Dad will either.

As others have said, there is no need to make some sudden obvious stand, take your time love. Just love your family and follow your conscience.

Love, SkyGreen