Posts by uriah

22

Who of you here know someone in Bethel who is leaking information?

by truthseeker in

do any of you here have direct contacts with bethel, or one of the branches?

do any of you have family that is in bethel?.

not too long ago one of you posted that bethel asked for 1000 volunteers to be laid off, but only 6 repsonded.

uriah

OKAY, Okay ding dong man I'm the spy - happy now.

There are people in bethel who know things, yeah really. But they aint-a tellin', nosireee.

But I is, see cos I'm and apostate sob hiding and writing and a listenin; and a posting on this site, no sir I jest not.

Move a bit closer to your screen and I'll whisper the name,

it's ....

"Bang Bang"

... ahh thems got me ma

Thems theopolice have shot me dowwnnnn.............

And so the rotted corpse of Apostoman was taken away and buried in lime by the Freddies never to sullie the great corpration again.

The End

Yes, Britain can rest easy tonight Watson (puff puff)

Indutiably Holmes (patriotic and bloody good british music fades in) (Roll credits)

107

South East England - love of the greater number cooling off

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

hi everyone, in the congregation i grew up in, it was very cold and unloving.

circuit overseers would come and go, they would give counsel and nothing changed.

at one time even the do came at the same time as the co and gave counsel to 'widen out'.

Someone (I forget who) mentioned Margate. Ahhh good old Margate. Anyone remember Ron Bond, we used to call him Mogadon because his talks were always delivered in a monotone and boy, were they d u l l. In fasct they were duller than a dull thing with a degree in dullness from oxford university. Then there was Gordon Barber who used to do the WT study and always go overtime - eeee by gum lad arm foam yerkshire aye earm a yerkshiore laaad aye appen, whippits and blaarck poodin eeee, I'll go t' foot ov R stayers.

I used to pass the time at meetings seeing how long I could hold my breath - 2 mins - It is difficult trying to gasp for air, all red faced in the hall of oldens. When that earned the usual thwack around the ear then I would hold the pipe of the radiators and see how long I could do that (when they were hot, that is). Ahhh those were the days.

Camber was great. Everyone headed for the snooker room or the beach, great fun.

Haysbridge, hard seats red decor and the feeling someone was pouring cold air down your neck if you sat in the middle bit. I mostly thought about lunch especially during the baptism, it went on for ages and all I could think about were my sarniesmmmmmmmm sarnies.

85

What's the Highest "Position" You Had in the Congregation???

by minimus in

jw
friends

me----p.o.....you??

?

uriah

I had a beard so was used as a scrubbing brush, but I was allowed to hand out maggies and bookies but not to be an (oooohh!) attendant, I was asked by accident to read the WT one day by someone who was not clued up on the 'Don't ask beared ones (rebellious you know) to do anything 'real'' which amused me, so I did tee hee. I also bobbed up and down during the meeting (no not with excitement nor anything else - go and wash your mouths out with soap -) but because I was the (ooooooh! (stop that!) platform mike lowerer and higherer geeko 'Lower please brother, no, no I have a mid card here higher higher points mean prizes, nice to see you to see you nice whose for a brucie bonus then my love'

20

questions from readers

by peacefulpete in

for the past few years the questions from readers in the wt have been pathetic rehashes of old material, or just stupid newbie quetions answered in the pe book.

i know that they must be getting thouands of well thought out questions from sincere readers, yet none of these questions make the column.

i know that this is not surprising to many here.

uriah

From what I have read in CoC, the GB often said ''...lets put a QFR in about this'. As I assumed it is just another means of getting the message across or the 'adjustments' of new light. You may remember elders and the like saying '...Ah yes there was a QFR about that and it clarified this or that'. By this means they can change tack without making a big thing of it in a WT main article, thereby avoiding the type of fall-out like from the generation debacle. It is all spin.

14

What does SOON mean to a JW

by Noumenon in

was reading some early 1990 wt articles relating to the un, and was amused at the expression 'soon' god will and do this and do that etc.

it made me wonder just what does this expression mean to the average jw.

how relative is this word 'soon' and 'shortly'.

uriah

Soon is part of the 'Theo-Speak' (tm) language which was specifically designed to keep you on your toes. It is mainly used in WT and Awake! headlines on the front covers. 'Knowledgeable persons' (TS (tm)) who are 'honest-hearted ones' (TS (tm)) may have their own pet names for them. I call them the 'series'. Hence:

The 'No More' series as in 'When sickness is no more', 'When death is no more'

The 'When' series as in 'When insects cause disease',

The 'At Hand' 'Gods Kingdom - At Hand!'

and of course the ubiquitos 'Soon' The end of death SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooon'.

As a small child I once asked my mother when my sister would be home. She said soon. I said 'But when is soon, what time is that', looking at the clock. She said she will be home soon now go and play. So of I goes and am still trying to puzzle out how long soon is. The only difference between then and now is that my sister did come home, unlike today when the soon goes on and on.

13

Waiting Attitude

by GermanXJW in

in a "next-issu"e-box i noticed that one of the july/august-issues contains an article about having a "waiting attitude".

does anyone already have the issue and could post the article here?

i think these kind of articles that try to explain the delay of the end are always a good read.

uriah

'course, as you know, it's to keep the rumblings quiet as they sit at the KH reading the WT and getting to thinking "...Hmmmm this Armageddon is taking its time, my mum said I wouldn't go to school and here I am with my own kids and I've told them the same thing...HMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzz"

So, so's when our Bro wakes up he can feel guilty (having had the subliminals during his nap) about not having a waiting attitude and he thinks "..Hey, I am a no-good-rusher-to-armageddon and must become humble and not think Jehovah is slow respecting his promise, which he's not, co's it the WT that promises and (ATTENTION ATTENTION in need of more subliminals (said in a darlek type voice))ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZz (awakes (no pun intended) "Hey I am a good JW and have a waiting attitude, if only I could rememeber what I am waiting for Hmmmm, this Watchtower is interesting it's about fluffy kittens and easy things to swallow la,la,la,la laaaaaaaaaaa (song 200)

83

District Assembly talks about apostates............

by integ in

jw
friends

district assembly 5/24/03 3:40 pm "beware of the voice of strangers".. 1) counterfeit words: beware of those using "counterfeit words".

2) flirting: young ones need to avoid being lured into relationships with un-believers.. 3) you trust your christian parents...listen to them.

you also trust those taking the lead among you..such as elders.

uriah

Sharp intake of breath uurrhhaaahh

you mean that THIS is an APOSTATE web site.

Sheesh, I never knew. Am I glad that the Society has lovingly provided me with new light so that I now know what ACTUALLY goes on here and can avoid your VOMIT!!! you know, the smell of VOMIT makes me VOMIT (like everyone else I assume), there is so much VOMIT here (gag - multicolour chunder) God am I glad i was warned about this site (VOMIT VOMIT) god, the stuff is everywhere, in my hair on my clothes up my nose this, this VOMIT. YOU, YOU VOMITERS YOU, help i am drowing in VOMIT, save me brother elder, take me back to those safe meetings and let me accompany you on field ministry and have a bible study with me to erase this smell of VOMIT only s a v e me e e e e e e e e e e.

And then I woke up and found it had all been a dream and I was safely at the assembly... wait a minute arrrrgggghhh its like eXisTanze am I here or there you fools you are all doooooomed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5

The new Worship book - chapter 1

by ozziepost in

at the last district convention, the book "worship the only true god" was released intended to be used along with the "knowledge" book on home bible studies.

both books are to be studied before baptism.. so, what are the 'new recruits' learning?.

this is the first of a series of posts selecting "highlights" from each chapter.

uriah

The UN is not going to destroy babylon the great because it is not mentioned in the latest WT (1st june i think) and we don't know nor never knew that they would because Jehovahs People (tm) don't speculate on who this 'earthly organisation' will be, so we never mentioned it as we don't speculate, being as we are Jehovahs people, who don't speculate.

18

Unusual statement in June 1, 2003 Watchtower

by Smiles in

in the second study article of the june 1, 2003 watchtower, discussing how jehovah's witnesses should react when "gog of magog" (satan the devil) attacks them just before armageddon, page 21, paragraph 16 says, in part:.

how will god's servants react?.

"as never before, true christians will then need to place their confidence in fellow worshipers authorized by jehovah and his reigning king to take the lead.

uriah

Maybe, seemingly, perhaps, obviously, these ones, one young brother, likley, some brothers, this one that one some other one, up yer bum, Brooklyn Bethel is re-locating to North Korea. Why is this? Seemingly, this is the only contry in the world that has a dead man as its head of state (144,000) and his living son Kim Il Sun (KIS) (remnant and F&DS). When KIS dies (his dad is called Great leader and his son is called Dear leader, by the by) which is obviously the F&DS, seemingly they will still rule from heaven but use the 'Glorious Ones' which is the elders who have been authorised by Jehovah, seemingly, but no riff raff from the rank and file to organise things on earth whislt reporting to the Great and Dear Leaders who are dead, but have come alive and living in Hartlepool doing a good job down at the fishermens mission selling soup and rolls on a 'donation' basis (see KM 15/04 what can I say about chicken soup?). This is all true, seemingly obvious antitype, raise in modulation and await applause

3

Rutherford in Jail - quest for info

by uriah in

i have read somewheres, which escapes me for the present, that rutherfor manipulated the dates of his (and others)jailing and release to better fit the 2.5(?

) days the 'witnesses' were slain and left dead.

can anyone shed any light on this please.

uriah

Thanks for the info - seems that it is just a copy of the proclaimers book though.