for me its the district conventions.
not bragging in anyway, but i was born-into a family of 'higher ups' im talking co's and zo's..... and there is a room that they set up in the conventions/stadiums called the "chairmans office".
i always have access to these rooms, because im usually with one of my higher up family members who give talks and all that other crap.. anyways, while everyone in the convention is sitting in the sun, eating a slimy, soggy bolognia sandwich, the chairmans office is air conditioned, has a variety of chilled beverages, 'coke, pepsi, diet coke, gatorade, dasani water bottles,' not to mention the 'danishes, sandwich triangles, cookies, cakes, muffins, fresh coffee, and for lunch, pizza, salads, pastas, and lasagna'.
Misuse of the word LOVE, everything they do is branded as loving, when it's not. Discipline in love, disfellowshipping = loving arrangement, whomever god loves he disciplines, blah blah blah.
On and on about love whilst there is none there, not really. I struggle to use the word love In any way, shape or form because it has such negative connotations for me, and I hate that.
just wondering if your name describes what you saw, how you were treated when you were "in" or now "out", maybe your personality, ect.... i'm label licker and the why i picked this name was because of all the licking up one side of elders and down the other to either be an elder or ministerial servant.
one time i was standing right in front of this brother who wasn't made an ms yet and he totally ignored me and talked right over my head speaking really loud trying to catch the co's attention.. got sick of watching the poor elderly sitting all alone or standing against the wall like a wall flower with noone to talk to and yet all these label lickers would take turns picking up the elders elderly parents and take them shopping and do their groceries at least four times a week while out in service, yet, there was noone there to take a meal to a sister who just got out of the hospital with a heart attack.
when i had shown up at her apartment with a meal she asked if i could wash her private and change her bandages.
I couldn't think and said out loud "what am I then?"
and from accross the room my daughter said "that's easy your a pickler"'
....me ????? What ??
She replied, " you know, a pickler, the person who takes the pickles out of our McDonalds burgers"
she's right, I do, and that's the name I am stuck with!
had a bit of a scare today.
i just was going to get some meds refilled, but i was having a panic attack when they checked my vitals.
they insisted i go to my doctor immediately.
It's called " white coat syndrome" when someones BPs spike when in medical environments, due to stress/worry etc. Yours sounds scary high.
mine is normally low 120/60, but I was in hospital with a family member & staff took my BP (just foolin around) and it was much higher than normal. It shocked me because I wasn't even conscious of feeling anxious 
but my body was reacting
i try to be a positive person but sometimes i just can't help myself.
the other day, i was looking at tv and this show was on mtv.
the show was called, "when i was 17".
Hey whathehadhas, I understand your feelings, I've had them too. We missed so much, then you are out in the world and you look the same but inside you feel so different. It hurts me too not just for myself, but the ones I grew up with, not so young now, still in.
Years after I left I was at university and I did some mental health subjects, I learned that a lot of mental health issues surface in early adolescence and some people effectively lose years of their lives, and have to "re enter" the world in their late 20s.
I was fascinated to learn that one of the biggest problems was not the stigma of mental illness, but catching up on the time lost.....social development, the things you were meant to go through & didn't. For example a guy might be in his late 20s and his social development might be that of a 13 year old. He then struggles to reconnect with his peers, he's left behind......didnt go to college/date/travel........sound familiar??
I remember sitting in those tutorials and having one of those lightbulb aha moments....that's what lots of us xJWs are like!!!!!
You havent had the "normal" type of upbringing, but its up to you to raise yourself from now on.
Do not ever blame yourself for time lost - its not your fault!!!
It sounds like you have some good plans for the future, good luck to you!!
i try to be a positive person but sometimes i just can't help myself.
the other day, i was looking at tv and this show was on mtv.
the show was called, "when i was 17".
Hey whathehadhas, I understand your feelings, I've had them too. We missed so much, then you are out in the world and you look the same but inside you feel so different. It hurts me too not just for myself, but the ones I grew up with, not so young now, still in.
Years after I left I was at university and I did some mental health subjects, I learned that a lot of mental health issues surface in early adolescence and some people effectively lose years of their lives, and have to "re enter" the world in their late 20s.
I was fascinated to learn that one of the biggest problems was not the stigma of mental illness, but catching up on the time lost.....social development, the things you were meant to go through & didn't. For example a guy might be in his late 20s and his social development might be that of a 13 year old. He then struggles to reconnect with his peers, he's left behind......didnt go to college/date/travel........sound familiar??
I remember sitting in those tutorials and having one of those lightbulb aha moments....that's what lots of us xJWs are like!!!!!
You havent had the "normal" type of upbringing, but its up to you to raise yourself from now on.
Do not ever blame yourself for time lost - its not your fault!!!
It sounds like you have some good plans for the future, good luck to you!!
i'm a new member & i'd like to say hi to everyone, intoducing myself.. i am a 3rd generation born-in at mid 50's & an active elder.. english is not my mother language, so pls ignore any grammatical errors.
i live in a small country in europe.. i'd like to thank you for all information posted.
some of them have rally helped me to understand and examine again my beliefs.. last new light concerning f&ds=gb has verified the idea that they are popes in the position op pope.. i still believe in god & in his son jesus christ but not in the gb..
i just need to vent,you see i was a born in.it's taken me 20 years after fading from the org to finally get my mind free from the wt dogma.i was on the phone with my aunt today and the subject of my mother her older sister came up.now mind you i haven't spoken to my mother in a month or so after my daughter stayed the weekend at her house and she was being tag teamed about the hall and how i took a vow to jehovah and i'm a failure and i'll be destroyed at armagedon.this exchange upset my daughter so much that she was near the point of tears when she returned home and she hasnt spoken to my mother or father since.anyway back to the conversation with my aunt,she let it slip that my mother told her that she wished she had let the seamen that fertilized the egg that produced me had slid down her legnno bear in mind i can remember as a child running into her room playing and she would say to me as a 7 year old child "i wished i had left you in oblivion"this is one of many such saying my mother had for me......i wasn't a bad child i just wasn't allowed to do anything such as going outside going over a friends house....etc,i have struggled for years as to why this woman hates me so.i got baptized at 15 really as a way of pleasing them what the hell does a child know at 15??
?granted it took me some time to get myself together and put those hurtful comments in the past,but today when my aunt let it slip about what my mother has said about me it was like pulling a scap off of a wound.my wife always complains about how im emotionless and distance,this was done by me as a way of protecting myself.so i've decided and i hate to say this that my christian god fearing parents...are dead to me there is no way i can have a relationship with people that are so wicked and since she never wanted me anyway....it works out for the best thx i just needed to vent i felt like i was going to pop..
about a month ago, i wrote a post about a sister that keeps coming to my apartment giving me watchtowers.
i called her an older sister.
she is in her late 50's.
i have always been intrigued about why we dream and recently signed up for a course on dream interpretation.
the course includes a great book written by sigmund freud.. this would have been oh soo taboo if i was still in the borg.
probably would have been df'd for it.. was wondering how many others out there have studied a subject or experimented with new ideas that "mother" would not have approved of since leaving the org, and what you learned from it?
Hey lovely lil, this is a nice topic.
I have found yoga and I love it. Meditation as well. Witnesses didn't allow these, not that you would have had time for it anyway. But it when I got into meditation I realized that I had been doing this for my whole life, I just didn't realize it!
In meetings I perfected the art of opting out mentally, I often got to the end of a meeting & couldnt remember anything that had been said.
Yoga makes me feel so good, physically and mentally
hey guys!
i hope that everyone is still holding on amidst all the struggles.. i know that there are parents, older ones, middle age and younger ones here.. sooo, my question isss- what age did you start dating and what age do you truly believe people should start dating?
and why?.
My son has started seeing a girl at 15, they have a lot of common interests (gaming, movies, bands etc) it's lovely to see a relaxed friendship develop. So different from the witness way where marriage is pushed so young.
I went out with a brother at age 15, after 1 week I heard on the grapevine that he had already asked someone to be his best man at the wedding. We broke up a week later.