Whoa OLK, welcome!
So now I’ve sort of come to terms with things but am unable to vent to anyone
Please vent away, you'll feel better putting it our of your system.
Do work on getting new friends. I survived the last year or so without contact from my old KH friends who haven't called me, maybe emailed me twice to say 'come to the meetings, we miss you', and without my family, all of whom are in.
It has been my girlfriend (non JW) who gave me the personal support I needed. And I've done a lot of venting online. My gf and I are both instropective people who don't have loads of friends, but we have a few close ones. As the year ends it dawned on me how I don't need my family's/friend's conditional love to survive.
So, by all means, make connections, go out, have fun, enjoy yourself.
Take it easy on searching for all the answers, it's overwhelming, it takes time. You've got the rest of your life. But I say this: don't let guilt and fear paralyse you--these are the WT's weapons over the rank and file. Trust us, it's OK, your life is yours now, go and live it in peace.
We're here for you!