I was burnt in the worst possible way by the jw's and I'm slowly easing my way back, meanwhile the unrelenting guilt plays at me constantly. This is due to my green habits. But I'm working on it. Praying is the hardest thing for me, cause of the guilt.
But I'll mention you in my prayers and pray that Jehovah shines his spirit on you again...all you need to is ask and it'll be given to you. What I've learnt from this is that you've REALLY got to want it!
I don't agree with their shunning policy as it only alienates you further! In my case it was their shunning that made me leave! It hurt deeply that I was no longer a person good enough to associate with these 'clean' people. They did far worse than my drinking for relief! If they'd just cared enough to ask why I was drinking, why I was on a downward spiral and helped me get out of it instead of instantly thinking I had double-life, well maybe I'd still be in the truth...
Yes I see the hypocrisy now, but I focus on my own salvation now, on pleasing Jah myself and not worrying about pleasing anyone in the congregation as they are as imperfect and picky and gossipy and judgemental as me!
Anyway.....I just wanted to encourage you. That was the whole purpose of my post...but somehow...in my dribble I lost sight of the goal!
Just my thoughts.....
You've been a BAD boy, go to MY room