My last JW event was he spring assembly in 2001. I'd already started fading in the congregation I was assigned to and had started making plans to seperate from my husband at the time. The only reason I went was to appease my family. It was pretty awkward, because it fell on our first wedding anniversary and my dad made a big deal about taking us out for dinner. I remember wanting to just get up and leave.
vajeni82
JoinedPosts by vajeni82
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152
How Long has it Been since you Last Attended Meetings and What Caused...
by flipper in..... you to stop attending ?
injustices ?
disagree with the teachings ?
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Even if its not the truth its still the best way of life!
by mtsgrad incomplete the following:.
even if its not the truth...... .
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vajeni82
It's still a great excuse to wear pantyhose!
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Curious About My Disfellowshipping.
by vajeni82 ini recently read an interesting thread (is there a 'third' way to leave?
) that talked about fading instead of being df'd or da'd.
i myself had planned to fade, but was df'd instead.
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vajeni82
Another round of thanks for the insight. To clear things up, I am in the United States. Freedom of Info here seems to be different than in the U.K.. I may just see if I can get someone to call and "inquire" on my behalf. The only problem is, my parents will hear about it & I don't want them assume for an instant that I am in any way interested in going back! Of course, I could maybe just tell them I needed to know for my official apostate sign up!
@ Cold Steel- I completely agree with everything you say. Those clowns have no authority over me or anyone else. That's honestly why I had no interest if really going to the JC meething in the first place. I was so over they way I was treated and ignored before the separation. That alone was enough to make me want out. Add that to the fact that I didn't believe the BS they were spewing from the stage & I was done. I'm just glad to no longer be associated with such a group of idiots. However, the curiosity is still there.
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I ran into an active JW...surprised
by nolongerconfused inso as you all know, i have fully faded...i'm completely out and have not told the elders or da myself...just faded 100%.... so i run into an active jw, different congregation, and as i walk past him i say, "hey so and so, how are you doing?
"....he looks down, doesnt dare look at me in the eyeball and keeps walking...then a split second later he turns around and says, hey man, aren't yuo disfellowshipped?....
i was like wtf?...lol, i said "not that i know of"...i asked him who told him such thing?...he wouldnt tell me who, but he had "heard"...so i just left it at that and told him if he wants to know then to contact my ex-elders.... my thing is, could the elders have df'ed me without me knowing it?...i have not been accused of their so called "apostasy", nor have i received a letter requesting info or to set up a meeting, nor a call...the coordinating elder (formally president/presiding overseer) still texts me all the time saying hi etc...no religious texts or anything like that).
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vajeni82
In my experience, they can do anything they want. I told them I couldn't make it to the meeting they set for me and they went ahead and DF'd me anyway. I still don't know on exactly what grounds. At the time, they had no just cause.I was planning to DA anyway, so I got what I wanted either way.
For all you know they "tried" to contact you and couldn't. You could always pretend to be an elder from elsewhere & call if you are curious. I'm debating on doing that myself.
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A bit of a rant... the selfishness of older generations
by cedars ini was talking to mrs cedars earlier about one of the things that really frustrates me about our situation as "faders" - namely the fact that we are looked down on by our respective parents, not to mention other older generations of our family.
it strikes me that the incessant attempts to drag us back into unquestioned loyalty to the organization is actually extremely selfish, even though (in their minds) they have only our best interests at heart.. i think of it this way.
they made a decision when they were younger to follow in the footsteps of their own parents' faith - without doing objective research into the beliefs or history of the organization.
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vajeni82
The whole ORG is just like the people in The Emperor's New Clothes. Everyone needs to play along for it to work. Once their nakedness is pointed out, others will start to feel silly. I think a lot of JWs are aware of this, they just decide not to say anything and play along. Obey without questioning! Your parents may feel embarrassed if you prove them wrong. So, they simply refuse to look. For so many people, it's a matter of pride.
PS: I hope I didn't burn your imagination by mentioning naked JWs.
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Who songs that remind me of the jehovahs witnesses
by hoser intwo that come to mind are.
my generation and.
won't get fooled again.
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vajeni82
'who songs'.... don't you mean what songs?...
I think OP meant songs specifically by The Who, but most posters (including me) just read it as "what". Sorry about that.
I'd also like to add "Blinded By The (New) Light". Ha!
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Who songs that remind me of the jehovahs witnesses
by hoser intwo that come to mind are.
my generation and.
won't get fooled again.
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vajeni82
"Liar" by Henry Rollins
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Curious About My Disfellowshipping.
by vajeni82 ini recently read an interesting thread (is there a 'third' way to leave?
) that talked about fading instead of being df'd or da'd.
i myself had planned to fade, but was df'd instead.
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vajeni82
Thanks for the feedback. I just can't believe how different congregations handle the same situation.
Just to clear a few things up, I'll give the details surrounding the elders' visit. I was 19, my husband was abusive. It had been reported to the elders and I was basically told to be a better wife. My husband and father (both position holding JWs) had assaulted me after I decided I wanted to leave for a trial separation. They were both arrested & I put restraining orders against them. I had only been out of the battered women's shelter for a few days when the elders came to visit. They knocked on the door and then moved so I couldn't see them through the peephole. When I opened the door they said they need to speak to me and gave me a time to meet them at the KH. I told them I had to work and didn't want to talk yet. I told them I had a letter for them. It was sealed and they did not know what if was for certain. I tried to hand it to them and they said to bring in with me when we met. A week later a friend told me they had announced my DFing on stage at my parents' congregaton.
I was never informed of the actual charges. I never commited to the meeting, so it's not like I stood them up. I can't see how at that point I was seen as needing to be disfellowshiped. The only things I can imagine even being reproved for would be disrespecting my father or husband. Can they really do anything about that? I have a feeling some false accusations were made. I wouldn't be surprised.
It's a small congregation. Maybe 50 people. They didn't really take kindly to faders & are generally pretty quick to dispense "justice". I was not surprised by the way things went. In the end, I got what I wanted, so it's kind of a wash.
Still, I really want to know what exactly I was DF'd for. I might look into getting my file.
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Curious About My Disfellowshipping.
by vajeni82 ini recently read an interesting thread (is there a 'third' way to leave?
) that talked about fading instead of being df'd or da'd.
i myself had planned to fade, but was df'd instead.
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vajeni82
I recently read an interesting thread (Is there a 'third' way to leave?) that talked about fading instead of being DF'd or DA'd. I myself had planned to fade, but was DF'd instead. It makes me curious about how that happened. Maybe somebody could clarify for me.
When I finally decided enough was enough I wrote a DA letter. I was all ready to mail it when the elders knocked on my door to inform me of my JC. I did not attend. I simply had no interest. I also had to work. I told them I would not be there. I tried to give them a DA letter when they came to inform me I was up for JC, but they refused it. However, I know for a fact I was officially disfellowshipped.
At the time, there was not a disfellowshipable offense that could be proven. I separated from my violent husband but did not try to divorce him I stopped attending meetings and going in service but never spoke against them.
After being DF'd, I went on to start a relationship with another man, but that was way after. When that became public, I received divorce papers from my now ex. (Best first Xmas gift EVER!) Until that point, I don't see how I could have possibly been DF'd per the JW guidelines.
Does anyone know if there is any way to see your file or find out what exactly you were DF'd for? I'm super curious because I honestly did not do anything that would warrant more than a reproval. There was never a time where the "2 witness rule" would apply either. I also find it odd that my disfellowshipping announcement was made at my parent's congregation instead of the one I had transferred to. How is that allowed?
The way I see it, they fired me after I quit. The results are the same either way. Whatever. But, I really want to know now!
Are there any active elders that want to find out for me? -
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Sleeping separately?
by usualusername inis their any good reason for a hubby/wife lovers to sleep separately?.
uun.
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vajeni82
My husband has worked nights for over 2 years & only gets every other weekend off. I'm so used to sleeping alone that he kind of disrupts me now when he is home. I have my little pillow nest & I'm not comfortable without it.