Posts by WildTurkey

Ok I think I made a mistake. Tomorrow is Dedes birthday, and since I will not be here tomorrow I want to give her gift today and post it here. Well this is what happened.
I was talking to a buddy, and I told him, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped." My buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So I did just that. And "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling -- I'll see you in two hours!"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

27

feel free to wine/ complain here

by refiners fire in

jw
friends

i wish to register a strenuous complaint.

bought a bottle of my favourite wine last night, removed the aluminium cover off the neck and saw that it didnt have a cork, but it had a plastic pseudo thing inserted in the neck cunningly disguised so as to have the "appearance" of a cork.

so i wound the cork screw in.

WildTurkey

OMG XW, that is hangover city!!!!!

9

41 Rules Men Wish Women Knew

by WildTurkey in

41 rules men wish women knew .

1. if you think you're fat, you probably are.

don't ask us.. 2. learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.. 3. don't cut your hair.

WildTurkey

XW she is going to watch good looking nude guys dance. I would go but i dont feel like dancing.

14

How to get free Watchtowers???

by Elsewhere in

jw
friends

i have been trying to think of a way for me to consistently receive copies of the watchtower and awake without having to give my money to the wts.

i'm stumped.

i can't go the kh to get them because they will not keep giving you stuff if you don't pay, errr, make donations.

WildTurkey

you could marry a pioneer

9

41 Rules Men Wish Women Knew

by WildTurkey in

41 rules men wish women knew .

1. if you think you're fat, you probably are.

don't ask us.. 2. learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.. 3. don't cut your hair.

WildTurkey

41 Rules Men Wish Women Knew

2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as navel lent, the shotgun formation
and monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just
like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of
the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us
to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and
your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark
anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from
point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think
we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would
look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
doctor.
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
together.
29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know
how pretty you are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want
it done - not both.
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do
we.
37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right
to complain about having their boobs stared at.
38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like
you do.
39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are
airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not
going to deter us from reading the magazines.
40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first
two months we were going out.
41. Anyone can buy condoms.

23

Where is VALIS ?

by Celia in

jw
friends

where is valis ????

i haven't seen any post from him in the last 4 or 5 days... i sent him an e-mail and he hasn't answered yet... anyone knows ?

gone skiing or something ?edited by - celia on 17 december 2002 18:46:58.

WildTurkey

VALIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my brother who keeps his self in trouble, how the hell are you son?

307

Super Bowl Predictions

by WildTurkey in

.

im a huge cowboy fan but i dont think they will make it to the super bowl, damn sure would love to be wrong.

ok here is who i think as of right now pittsburgh stealers and san francisco 49ers and god i hate them both, well thats my pick how about you?

WildTurkey

You better watch out for my Cowboys, I think that might make a run for it at this end of the year!! not!!!

GO COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TAKE THE RANGERS WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

46

Most Sexually Active On Board

by JH in

jw
friends

gee!

i didn't think simon knew everything about us?

most sexually active posters in the last 7 days user orgasms intensity of orgasms lyineyes 108 brummie108 big tex96 mrmoe 96 jjrizzo92 butalbee92 scully86 hillary_step86 farkel83 santaclaus81 simon79 minimus79 elsewhere79 machislopp77 blondie73 heathen73 heaven72 focus70 bobbarker69 norm69 mommiedark69 undisfellowshipped 66 jt66 onacruse66 englishman50 .

WildTurkey

JH: On your revised list I now see LyinEyes listed twice (97 and 66). Does this mean she has multiple "accounts"?

Its called multiple Orgasms. God I'am The MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!