WildTurkey

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Posts by WildTurkey

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  307

  Super Bowl Predictions

  by WildTurkey in

  1. social
  2. physical

  .

  im a huge cowboy fan but i dont think they will make it to the super bowl, damn sure would love to be wrong.

  ok here is who i think as of right now pittsburgh stealers and san francisco 49ers and god i hate them both, well thats my pick how about you?

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  WildTurkey

  OK I,m a big old dummy. I was so wrong about the big game. Who was right??
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  4

  Mommy, Mommy!!!

  by WildTurkey in

  1. social
  2. humour

  hey do you remember these?

  mommy, mommy!

  what's an orgasm?

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  WildTurkey

  Hey do you remember these?

  Mommy, Mommy! What's an orgasm? I don't know dear, ask your father.

  Mommy, Mommy! The milk man's here; Have you got the money or should I go out and play?
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  63

  (((Joy2Bfree))), I'm sorry

  by WildTurkey in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey joy, im very sorry for the pain you are going through, because the lose of your father.

  i also know you had to deal with the borg world again and i know that was hard to deal with.

  i really dont have the words just want you to know i care.

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  WildTurkey

  Hey Joy, Im very sorry for the pain you are going through, because the lose of your father. I also know you had to deal with the borg world again and I know that was hard to deal with. I really dont have the words just want you to know I care.
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  Graffiti Wisdom

  by WildTurkey in

  1. social
  2. humour

  graffiti wisdom

  you can learn a lot from reading the graffiti in a bathroom, library or other public area...

  the best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.. * women's rest room, murphy's, champaign, ill.. .

• 

  WildTurkey

  Graffiti Wisdom

  You can learn a lot from reading the graffiti in a bathroom, library or other public area... The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open. * Women's rest room, Murphy's, Champaign, Ill. If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington. * Men's rest room, Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Wash. Beauty is only a light switch away. * Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, N.C. If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives. * Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C. Remember, it's not "How high are you?", it's "Hi, how are you?" * Rest stop off Route 81, W. VA. God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust? * The Irish Times, Washington, D.C. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. * The Bayou, Baton Rouge, La. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. * Men's rest room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N.C. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. * Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Ariz. A woman's rule of thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it. * Women's rest room, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Tex. Watch out for gay limbo dancers. * Inside toilet stall door, men's rest room? Express Lane: Five beers or less. * Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, Ariz. You're too good for him. * Sign over mirror in women's rest room, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA No wonder you always go home alone. * Sign over mirror in men's rest room, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands. * Men's rest room, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY
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  1

  New Medications

  by WildTurkey in

  1. social
  2. humour

  new medications

  advances in science have lead to new medicines that make the lives of women around the world a little better... .

  damitol.

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  WildTurkey

  New Medications Advances in science have lead to new medicines that make the lives of women around the world a little better... DamitolTake 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours. St. Mom's WortPlant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. Empty NestrogenHighly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. Peptobimbo Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. DumerolWhen taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music. FlipitorIncreases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. AntiboyoticsWhen administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up. MenicillinPotent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person... can we get naked now?" Buyagra Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. Extra Strength Buy-One-allWhen combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donny Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura. JackAsspirinRelieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. AntitalksidentA spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. SexcedrinMore effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome. Ragamat When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging at him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

  Advances in science have lead to new medicines that make the lives of women around the world a little better... DamitolTake 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours. St. Mom's WortPlant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. Empty NestrogenHighly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. Peptobimbo Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. DumerolWhen taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music. FlipitorIncreases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. AntiboyoticsWhen administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up. MenicillinPotent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person... can we get naked now?" Buyagra Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. Extra Strength Buy-One-allWhen combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donny Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura. JackAsspirinRelieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. AntitalksidentA spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. SexcedrinMore effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome. Ragamat When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging at him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
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  48

  You're Canadian When

  by WildTurkey in

  1. social
  2. humour

  you're canadian when

  signs showing you might be from canada... .

  you're not offended by the term "homo milk".

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  WildTurkey

  Passing the Intelligence Test

  Last week, Prime minister Jean Chretien called U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney and he asked him, "Why the hell did you take George W. Bush as your Presidential candidate?"
  
  Dick replied, "He passed the intelligence test."
  
  Chretien asked, "What was that test?"
  
  Cheney answered, "I asked him 'If your mother has a baby and it's not your brother and not your sister, who is it'?" And Dubya answered, "It's me!" So Cheney hired him.
  
  "Great test," says Jean, "I'll try it on my finance minister." So he asks Paul Martin the same question. Paul says, "Well, can I give you an answer in a day or two?"
  
  "No problem," answers Jean.
  
  Paul is completely in the dark so he asks James Scott Peterson, Secretary of State (International Financial Institutions) the same question. James answers, "It's me, of course!"
  
  Excitedly, Paul goes back to Jean and tells him, "I've got the answer to your question, 'if my mother has a baby who is neither my brother or my sister'--it's James Scott Peterson!"
  
  Shaking his head, Jean says, "You idiot! It's not James Scott Peterson, it's George W. Bush!"

  Edited by - WildTurkey on 20 January 2003 15:40:36
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  307

  Super Bowl Predictions

  by WildTurkey in

  1. social
  2. physical

  .

  im a huge cowboy fan but i dont think they will make it to the super bowl, damn sure would love to be wrong.

  ok here is who i think as of right now pittsburgh stealers and san francisco 49ers and god i hate them both, well thats my pick how about you?

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  WildTurkey

  Rock On!!!!!!!! Buccaneers and RAIDERS. hope you fans get a good game.
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  48

  You're Canadian When

  by WildTurkey in

  1. social
  2. humour

  you're canadian when

  signs showing you might be from canada... .

  you're not offended by the term "homo milk".

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  WildTurkey

  You're Canadian When

  Signs showing you might be from Canada... You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK". You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield." You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars. You drink Pop, not Soda. You know that a Mickey and 2-4's mean, "party at the camp, eh!!!" You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars and no Americans. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway. You drive on a highway, not a freeway. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion, Michael J. Fox, John Candy, William Shatner, Tom Green, Matthew Perry, Mike Myers, Neve Campbell, Pamela Anderson Lee & many more, are Canadians. You know that the CEO of American Airlines is a Canadian. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed". Your local newspaper covers national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan". You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'. You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than, "Huh?" You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all of your Canadian friends!!! And then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them... further!
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  62

  Let's show pics when we were teens, or younger

  by LyinEyes in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here is a pic of me and wildturkey when we were dating, i was 17 and he was 18,,,, not a great picture quality , it was snowing.

  i will never forget that day playing in the snow.

  if ya want to go way back , here is my baby pic,,,,,,,,and yeah , i had my mouth wide open laughing even back then!hehe .

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  WildTurkey

  This is a pic of our wedding party. Thats my dad and brothers to my left.
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  78

  What song sums up your JW experience?

  by sleepy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  its got to be rage against the machine, "killing in the name of" .

  just had the bassline to this song rumbling through my head, havent heard it for ages though .

  you need to know the chorus.

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  WildTurkey

  Creed: down to one last breath

  Please come now I think Im falling
  Im holding on to all I think is safe
  It seems I found the road to nowhere
  And Im trying to escape
  I yelled back when I heard thunder
  But Im down to one last breath
  And with it let me say
  Let me say
  
  Hold me now
  Im six feet from the edge and Im thinking
  That maybe six feet
  Aint so far down
  
  Im looking down now that its over
  Reflecting on all of my mistakes
  I thought I found the road to somewhere
  Somewhere in His grace
  I cried out heaven save me
  But Im down to one last breath
  And with it let me say
  Let me say
  
  Hold me now
  Im six feet from the edge and Im thinking
  That maybe six feet
  Aint so far down
  
  Sad eyes follow me
  But I still believe theres something left for me
  So please come stay with me
  Cause I still believe theres something left for you and me
  For you and me
  For you and me
  
  Hold me now
  Im six feet from the edge and Im thinking

  Creed: torn

  Peace is what they tell me
  Love am I unholy
  Lies are what they tell me
  Despise you that control me
  (chorus)
  The peace is dead in my soul
  I have blamed the reason for
  my intentions poor
  Yes I'm the one who
  the only one who
  Would carry on this far
  Torn, I'm filthy
  Born in my own misery
  Stole all that you gave me
  Control you claim you save me
  (chorus)