Posts by WildTurkey

What do you like to do for fun? LyinEyes, and I love to dance at our favorite night club. Oh by the way, I want to know what kind of entertainment you enjoy with your jeans up.

21

My Theory about wild X-JWs

by zenpunk in

jw
friends

i was pondering this theory this morning - what do you all think?.

a few months ago i went to visit someone from my last congregation who is now also an x-jw.

what is interesting is that, though completely straight-laced within the congregation, he became absolutely out of control once he left and is now trying to figure out how to get his life together.

WildTurkey

Hey, Im with Vails on this. Y'all know he is my hero!

1

Are you to drunk?

by WildTurkey in

signs that you are too drunk would be... .

you lose arguments with inanimate objects.

you have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

WildTurkey

Signs that you are too drunk would be...

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Job interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
You can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmmm.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...

4

Because I'm a Guy

by WildTurkey in

because i'm a guy, i must hold the television remote control in my hand while i watch tv.

if the thing has been misplaced, i'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time i was able to survive by holding a calculator.. because i'm a guy, when i lock my keys in the car i will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.. oh, and when the car isn't running very well, i will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if i know what i'm looking at.

if another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, "i used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, i wouldn't know where to start.

WildTurkey

Because I'm a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.

Because I'm a guy, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.

Oh, and when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a guy, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a guy, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a guy, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart -- despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a guy, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger -- how the heck could HE know where we're going?

Because I'm a guy, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a guy, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay, I don't need to see it. Did you remember to pick up something for my mom, too?

Because I'm a guy, I am capable of announcing, "one more beer and I really have to go," and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I'll be home soon, and no, I don't understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. What's the connection?

Because I'm a guy, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a guy, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find
this fascinating.

Because I'm a guy, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a guy and this is, after all, the new millennium, I will share equally in the housework. You do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

11

Evil?

by WildTurkey in

jw
friends

i have met so many great folks in the chat room, and read many wonderful post.

its sad that because these people have decided to think for their selves, they have been labeled evil.

people who once called us friends, said they would give their lives for us, now will not even make eye contact with us.

WildTurkey

I have met so many great folks in the chat room, and read many wonderful post. Its sad that because these people have decided to think for their selves, they have been labeled evil. People who once called us friends, said they would give their lives for us, now will not even make eye contact with us. Even families turn their back on us, and paint us as evil. Well, I just want to say ,now that I have had the privilege of getting to know some of you, its there loss. They say they are the best people on the face of the earth ,but I believe that the best people are walking away from them at great cost. If we are judged at the end, I would rather take my chances with y’all then with them.

17

I'm new at this!

by SweatPea in

jw
friends

hi guys and girls!

i've been visiting this site for the last three days and decided to join the group.

i was df in 1965 and to tell you the truth (no pun intended) i don't think i have ever recovered.

WildTurkey

Howdy Susie, Glad your here!

1

One more bad joke. Sorry

by WildTurkey in

a married couple was on holiday in pakistan.

they were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.

from inside they heard a gentleman with a pakistani accent say, "you foreigners!

WildTurkey

A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."

So the couple walked in and the shopkeeper says to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They have special power. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the shopkeeper claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex God he was.

The husband asked the man, "How could sandals improve my abilities?" The Pakistani man replied, "Just try dem on, Saiheeb. The sandals will prove it to you." Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many years: raw sexual power!

In a blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Pakistani man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down the man's pants and his own, and grabbed firm hold of the Pakistani's thighs. The Pakistani then began screaming, "YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!"

14

hello.......newbie here

by scootergirl in

jw
friends

just wanted to say hello and that i am very excited to find a board such as this one!

guaranteed you will see more of me and i am looking forward to getting to know more of you!

WildTurkey

Its good to have you here, looking foward to meeting you.

43

Congregation Letter 5-24-02

by silentlambs in

jw
friends

christian congregation.

of jehovah's witnesses.

2528 route 22 patterson ny 12563-2237 phone (845) 306 1100 .

WildTurkey

Oh this makes me sick to watch them always say they do, and have done the right thing all along. I was an elder for 10 years, and I saw first hand how they cover over child abuse. They would rather let a little girl or boy, not even in their teens raped then for them to look bad to the public. Ok, so you can’t do anything from a congregation stand point cause you don’t have two witness, but for the love of god you can tell the parents they need to protect their children anyway they can, tell them to go to the police, their family doctor, go to someone who is trained to know if a child is sexually abused. My heart goes out to all you dear ones who have been hurt because the WT org. wants to look good.
Oh by the way this:

We have long instructed elders to report allegations of child abuse to the authorities where required by Law to do so, even where there is only one witness. (Romans 13:1) in any case, the elders know that if the victim wishes to make a report, it is his or her absolute right to do so.----Galatians 6:5.
Is bulls*** Elders are instructed to tell the parents how if this gets out it will be a bad witness, and we don’t want to bring any reproach on Jah’s name. Damn Im mad.