remember that calculus test i thought i failed and which panicked me into suicidal thoughts.
i made an 89 on it.. will i ever conquer my self defeating anxiety?
time will tell.. i can't erase the past, all i can work on is the future.. one thing i have found out is how many people are going through tough times.
One thing I have found that helps me is to keep experiences like this one, where your anxiety turned out to be unwarranted, in mind the next time you begin to stew over something and start all of the negative self-talk. It helps me to be more positive about myself and keep things in a little better perspective.
It is also wonderful to have a place like this to come to where we can enjoy each other's friendships, insights and support. I'm glad you're here!
I've always thought that if I had to ever start dating again I would probably think of looking somewhere like a Barnes and Noble or Borders bookstore.
One reason is that I hang out there alot anyway, I love to read and so it is a place I feel comfortable in. It is a relaxed atmosphere, lots of tables and couches to relax in while checking out what books interest you. You could strike up a conversation with someone about what they are reading, esp. if it is a topic you have an interest in or are knowledgable about. No pressure.
Usually, they have some type of Starbucks or coffee bar adjacent to the bkstore......if you struck up a conversation with someone interesting you could casually ask if they would like to go sit down and have a coffee with you and continue your talk. I dont know; Im pretty shy myself but that is one place I would consider.
i am wondering how many here are often reluctant to post their true opinions on certain subjects to evade being flamed, made to feel lesser than human, or being ganged up on?
i ask this as i have read threads and had things i would have liked to contribute, but feel i have already had so much stress that i cannot take the type of personal attacks that occur here.. before anyone jumps in and attacks that statement, i have had a recent physical illness that has stressed me beyond normal limits.. we have all seen it happen.
then along comes a mr nice guy who sticks up for the attackers.. ana...,of the "just cannot be bothered class".. .
Ana, I can relate to what you are saying. Being shy anyway, I am more reticent to speak my mind depending on the topic. Unless of course it is something that really gets my German temper flaring, in which case I throw caution to the wind, post anyway and then quietly slink away if my words are jumped on.
But Im trying to work on speaking my mind, stand by what I think, unless someone's reasoning (notice I said reasoning as opposed to insults) makes me see things differently, and not worry so much if someone disagrees with me.
I am so sorry to hear about your illness. I hope it is something you will be feeling better from soon. You seem like such a sweetheart.
an earlier discussion has been highlighting the differences between da'ing and df'ing.
xena said:i am sorry qadreena but i have never in the 20 some odd years i have been a jw ever heard of an unbaptised publisher being d/aed...marked as bad association yes..but d/a...no...but i guess stranger things can happen.... well that brought it all back.. actually xena the exact same thing happened to my brother in the early 80's.
he was only 14. he'd carried on associating with a friend of his who'd been disfellowshipped.
Nic, your post was so moving, it actually made me cry! And I really needed that tonight but that's another story.
I really empathize with you over the years lost between you and your little brother; you sound like you were very close. It must have been heartbreaking for all of you. When I think of the burden, esp. imposed on you two kids at such a young age, it breaks my heart!
I am so glad that you sought your little brother out again and were able to some extent to let the years melt away and feel that strong love you had for each other when you were just kids.
my mother and grandmother are dubs, so it was a part of my life from the start.
both my dad and grandfather weren't, so it was what they call a divided household.. that sucked coz, after the meeting we were hurried off home to please the unbelieving mate.. so i never got to have real friends at the meetings and never had any activities outside of school.. as i got older i began to fit in with the school mates but felt restrained as we always had meetings to go to.. to cut a long story short, i got baptised when i was 18, had trouble keeping on top of meetings and witnessing etc.... i went weak, then inactive, found myself a girlfriend, non-witness, talked her thru the issues and problems i was going thru and so she decided to study.. we got married, she was baptised and things were going good.. as they were always pushing at assemblies to pioneer we felt we had to do that.. so as our circumstances allowed, she began pioneering.. you know, i look back and can say there was so much pressure put on couples who didn't have a family to seek first the kingdom.. as i had a checkered past according to some in the congo, it was a battle to attain privilidges.
but i worked at it, i would auxillary pioneer each year and use my vacation time to do it, brown nose the co each time he visited, and bend over backwards to do anything the elders wanted done.. and as time passed i became a ministerial servant.. then in order for me to become an elder i had to really work my ass off.. so i did, i sorted things out so i could also become a regular pioneer.. after 18 months of doing that plus continually working hard for the org i was appointed elder.. my family was stoked.. i had a sister whose husband had also been appointed elder, my other sister was a regular pioneer and my brother was living with me and doing as much as he could.
Hi Kep, thanks for sharing your story and opening up your heart. You've really been through alot it sounds like in recent years. I look forward to hearing more of your journey to the present.
many many times, i get the blues, but i am the eternal optimist and always seem to snap out of it and get back to my happy go lucky self.. this song by jodee messina sums up how i feel when i get the blues.
Lilacs, I love that song; I can really relate to it also. Skeptic and I saw JoDee Messina at the Puyallup fair last Sept. and she sang that song from her upcoming CD.....she was really great!
hello everyone: came home yesterday and what a relief on both sides involved..6 days total due to diabetic blisters that got infective real bad and i tore myself away from my webtv to spend the last 6 days at a local hospital trying to clear it up hooked up to an iv pumping antibiotics in my veins 24/7...now i am home for home cookin -- hospitals do not cook to my tastebuds..among other things and also back to my webtv..(((((hugs to all))))
