dissonance_resolved

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Posts by dissonance_resolved

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  19

  Hello

  by apocryphal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  dissonance_resolved

  Hi Apocryphal-

  Welcome to the forum- you will find a lot of support here from many who have been or are going through the same situation. I'm also born-in, still active and facing the loss of my whole family if I'm anything but active. At least you've woken up at a relatively young age and don't have a spouse or kids, which makes things a lot more complicated. For now, I'm taking comfort in the fact that, while I may still have to give a certain amount of time to the org to maintain my family relationships, they have no hold over my mind, my life decisions or my future. Someday I will be out. Take your time, don't make any rash decisions- it will all work out.

  DR
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  68

  So...What Are YOU Doing Tonight?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think i'll go to my favorite`watering hole and help "celebrate" tonight's festivities.. what are you doing this evening?.

  anyone going to the "lord's evening meal"?.

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  dissonance_resolved

  We're going- it's too soon in the fade to skip something like Memorial. I'm actually curious though to see how much they refer to the 144,000 as being a literal number or just as a "limited group." Definitely going to have to get a bottle of wine for after we get home, though.
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  59

  How do I tell my husband?

  by dissonance_resolved in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm a born in, baptized as a young teenager, whole family is jw.

  i just recently woke up after the new understanding of the fds was announced and it seemed to me to smack of power-grabbing.

  i started looking at all the websites we're not supposed to, and now i know why.

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  dissonance_resolved

  Applied the suggestions here and did much better! I had the opportunity to drop a quick question about the flood and it's driving him crazy! I can see the wheels turning....
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  7

  Elder Calls To Invite Us To October Annual Meeting -- What's Up With That?

  by Room 215 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife fielded a call from a local elder inviting us to attend the annual meeting this october... i declined, of course.

  is it held in pittsburgh with tie-ins to local assembly halls?

  i can't believe there would otherwise be room for little piss-ons like us.

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  dissonance_resolved

  This year they are going to broadcast the Annual Meeting program to assembly halls all over the country. There will be repeat sessions on Saturday and Sunday so everyone can attend, but I believe it's by invitation only, i.e. not open to the public.
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  23

  Reason

  by dissonance_resolved in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  so as someone newly awakened, my thoughts have turned to "why didn't i see this sooner?

  how could i be so blind?

  " part of it is that i never realized anyone may have left due to differences with the doctrine.

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  dissonance_resolved

  It still seems difficult to believe that I coud just quit and not have anyone force the issue. But maybe. My dad is an elder in my own congregation so it will either lean one way or the other. I will take the advice of the majority and just see what happens if I stop going. I've nothing left to lose.
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  23

  Reason

  by dissonance_resolved in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  so as someone newly awakened, my thoughts have turned to "why didn't i see this sooner?

  how could i be so blind?

  " part of it is that i never realized anyone may have left due to differences with the doctrine.

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  dissonance_resolved

  Yes, my whole family is still in. Is it just prolonging the pain for them and me, though, as I gradually show up less and less? I've already experienced that they avoid me when I'm not doing well and "reward" me with further association when I am at meetings or FS. I guess I need to keep my impossible end goal in mind, that I could not be a JW and still be able to call my mom on a Friday night and fill her in on the week.
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  23

  Reason

  by dissonance_resolved in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  so as someone newly awakened, my thoughts have turned to "why didn't i see this sooner?

  how could i be so blind?

  " part of it is that i never realized anyone may have left due to differences with the doctrine.

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  dissonance_resolved

  So as someone newly awakened, my thoughts have turned to "why didn't I see this sooner? How could I be so blind?" Part of it is that I never realized anyone may have left due to differences with the doctrine. Apostates were the crazy people with signs yelling at us outside the district convention venue, behind the barricade of loving, friendly brothers who would protect us from their evil influence. I assumed that the people I knew who left had drifted away due to materialism, or got a worldly boyfriend and succumbed to desire, etc. None of those reasons had anything to do with me or ever caused me to question my beliefs. Now if someone that I knew and respected were to one day, completely out of the blue, DA themselves, I would take notice. I would wonder why. (If I was at the meeting that day, which is questionable.). I wouldn't believe it was because they had committed some "disfellowshipping offense" but rather that they must have a darn good reason. I'm weighing this as I consider my exit strategy. I know the ultimate result will be shunning by my family. But should I leave with a blaze or a fizzle?
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  13

  why do I write?

  by Separation of Powers in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i must admit, i feel rather like winston smith from orwell's 1984. i sit here in front of the image of a blank piece of paper on my computer screen.

  i am alone in my study, alone, but like winston, i am hesitant to write on this blank piece of paper, fearful that i am under the watchful eye of the telescreen.

  it is a form of paranoia, i guess, a paranoia that is synonymous with being in the organization; an organization that worries more about perception than substance.

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  dissonance_resolved

  "We shall meet in a place where there is no darkness.". Congratulations on putting a pen to paper.
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  13

  why do I write?

  by Separation of Powers in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i must admit, i feel rather like winston smith from orwell's 1984. i sit here in front of the image of a blank piece of paper on my computer screen.

  i am alone in my study, alone, but like winston, i am hesitant to write on this blank piece of paper, fearful that i am under the watchful eye of the telescreen.

  it is a form of paranoia, i guess, a paranoia that is synonymous with being in the organization; an organization that worries more about perception than substance.

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  dissonance_resolved

  "We shall meet in a place where there is no darkness.". Congratulations on putting a pen to paper.
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  40

  Still in with kids

  by thinking_ability in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  dissonance_resolved

  Hi Still in- I'm just like you but several years ahead. My husband has never done much, we're not too regular at meetings, no family study, but my kids are still traumatized from what they have grasped about Armageddon from the meetings and I'm wracked with guilt that they haven't had a normal childhood. But I didn't wake up til recently, so just have to make the best of my circumstances. I've been going back and forth too about what to do because I don't want to be separated from my family. I haven't figured out how to have it both ways, though. It's a real roller coaster of being depressed and sad about the thought of losing my family to having hope and exhilaration that somehow, someday, this will all be in the past and my kids won't ever have to be in the same position.