last meeting i ever went to was a memorial, 6 years ago.
i remember it well, and it wasn't even my own hall.
it was so boring.
i remember my last meeting..it was the one where they announced me as being disfellowshipped.."brother so and so has now been officially delcared disfellowshipped and is no longer one of jehovahs witnesses" i havent been back...i imagine that it is a fear that i will one day have to overcome...maybe I'll take in a memorial or somethin.
-Z-
i was just wondering, are you the type of person that will give out all kinds of information on yourself, talk about anything to anyone just like an open book, or are you the type that says the least possible about yourself and often just answsers by yes or no when a stranger talks to you?.
i'm the type of peson that doesn't hide anything when a person asks me a question.
i will even say negative things about myself or errors i commited.
somewhat open...as has been said before I also have trust issues so i dont spill my life story to everyone I meet but I am open enough to meet new people and be open enough to TRY to trust...one person at a time...
-Z-
i finally got myself a computer at home!
now i have access to the net anytime i want basically!
it is slow cuz only have dial up but its somting anyway.
lol I dont think that the rest of my life will stop now that I have a puter here at home but you are right, both of you, I am sure that my posts will probably go up a tad bit.. cud be worse tho! it IS nice tho..
i finally got myself a computer at home!
now i have access to the net anytime i want basically!
it is slow cuz only have dial up but its somting anyway.
I finally got myself a computer at home! Now I have access to the net anytime I want basically! It is slow cuz only have dial up but its somting anyway. Funny thing too my sister gave me the computer..it is her old one. It isnt really old she just bought it in 2000 which means that it is slow but otherwise functional. Anyway...this is zanex'z first post from HOME!
-Z-
i finally sent off the 3 page letter to my parents that spelled it out for them...where i was in my life and where they fit into that.
my pop had sent me an email initially that prompted my long-winded response to him.
he opened the door for me to say what i wanted to say and i took it.
I guess only time will tell what happens and what results I can expect to see...thanxz tho..it WAS kind of hard sending that letter...hmmm head and shoulders above them...I LIKE the sound of that...
i find all the different aliases people use on here to be pretty entertaining.. what does your name mean to you?
why did you choose it?.
i assume teenyuck, for example = tina spoke by a young child.
"Zanex"=6 months in a high security mental institution+high dosage of multiple talks + theocratic ministry overexposure
(they made off with me marbles!)
(sorry, just in one of those sort of odd moods)
i finally sent off the 3 page letter to my parents that spelled it out for them...where i was in my life and where they fit into that.
my pop had sent me an email initially that prompted my long-winded response to him.
he opened the door for me to say what i wanted to say and i took it.
I finally sent off the 3 page letter to my parents that spelled it out for them...where I was in MY life and where they fit into that. My pop had sent me an email initially that prompted my long-winded response to him. He opened the door for me to say what I wanted to say and I took it. Sayin stupid shite like, "reinstatement will mean, in addition to fellowship with family, opening up the opportunity to enjoy Jehovah's blessing; inner peace, a sense of purpose, direction, stability, and so forth." He really believes that drivel that he spouts off...at any rate I sent back a reply making it VERY clear for him where I stand in terms of going BACK to the jw belief. I have never sent him anything like this before and am not sure what is going to happen. I sent the letter 2 days ago. Via email so I am more or less sure that he has read it by now. He REALLY believed that I was falling apart because I am not a jw..another quote from his letter...
"(Zanex) should talk out his inner demons with the body of elders in Sacramento, or somewhere. It will be therapeutic and healthy. It will also mean becoming a man by overcoming inhibitions about the organization and past mistakes. Invite a listening ear let him talk.
LOL really? he HONESTLY believes that my inner demons are something that a body of elders can handle...gimme a break...anyway..I am not going to go into the whole letter as I am still pretty steamed over it. Point is that I finally responded in kind...i do not know whether this will bring positive or neagtive effects but at this point I frankly dont care...I have made my choices and they have made theirs...basically? I have nothing to lose..im already df'd..what more can they do to me? Already lost my family...used to it by now...but maybe just maybe my parents will hear with their hearts what I tried to say in the letter that I sent them...who knows?
"nothing ventured nothing gained"
-Z-
no matter what dont talk bad about the other parent in front of or to the child...try to maintain some type of tactful, friendship type of contact with the other parent...my own divorce proved to be very ugly until we both started treating each other like humans instead of divorcees. No divorce is easy but with a child have to remember that you are stuck with the other parent...for good or for evil...hope that helps..
-Z-
sittin here i hear the air the truth that the youth of my day didnt get.
living real living long living hard and free mom and dad dont see who is the real me.
reading, thinking thoughts driving me to the drinking.
sittin here i hear the air the truth that the youth of my day didnt get
living real living long living hard and free mom and dad dont see who is the real me
reading, thinking thoughts driving me to the drinking
love...free without cost never able to be lost
life free without thought to what was brought
things heard, things seen things in the future, things that have been
what did I lose? the right not to choose?
for me thats right I have the free sight!
my mother...gone...my father...gone...
living still both but I am to them a ghost...
now alone at the end...peace I want someone to send...
alone at the beginning..alone at the end..what more will be sent?
-Z-
i have read alot on this site for a while and just have been absorbing it as i make my way.. one thing i noticed was alot said about abuse of children... i experienced the reverse...false stories told..believed by elders because of hidden agenda and 20+ years as special pioneers ..etc.
as of no count and belief in a new publisher destroyed our lives and children's lives.
the horror never stops ...some of our family is disassociated...some disfellowshipped...some inactive...some active..some on a fence...mostly because of one or two elders and the misapplication of their power and lack of love to our family.
welcome maggie, whatever answers you find out from any associations that you have while on this board are answers that you can use to formulate your OWN ideas about what religion is or is not. You have seen much from this board..take what you can use and blow the rest by...other than that? WELCOME
