i know the feeling..i have to work 3 hours away from my sig other...(sigh) the hotel just doesnt quite cut it for me..least not when i have to sleep in it alone...4 nites this week alone...arg!
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Posts by zanex
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16Feeling a bit lonely tonight
by fullofdoubtnow inmy bf has had to go to belfast today for work.
he doesn't work away too often, this is only the 3rd time this year, and one of the times i went with him, but this time i have to stay home.
i took him to the airport this morning, hugged him as he went to board his flight, and i've been ok all day, until he rang me about an hour ago.
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63
How Many Here Have Ever Been Before A Judicial Committee???
by minimus ini've been on plenty of jcs but i never was the target of the elders, judicially.....although i would be now.
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zanex
3 times before a jc as an active comabtant and then i finally gave up...there didnt seem to be much reason to continue fighting with them...i just let them df me the last time...i was 17 and it was my third time fighting those bastards....i didnt even TRY to show any hint of anything even resembling a "repentant attitude" didnt care at that point...good times...(thinks back to that last nite, dang that post jc cigarette tasted good) lol...
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27
Tomorrow is the BIG Day!
by Yizuman init's the day that i am getting married!
i've waited 42 long years for this day and it's been well worth the wait!
although we cannot afford a big honeymoon, but we've been lucky to get 2 free nights at a local hotel, compliments by her cousin.
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zanex
congrats! sounds like life is better for u now than last time i saw yer name on the board here.
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49
Song your listening to at the moment
by KW13 in.
do you have a favourite song your listening to right now?.
usually, i admit i am a rap/hip hop fan but the song reflecting my mood today is 'the sound of silence - simon and garfunkel'.
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zanex
"where'd u go" by fort minor dueting with some lady..i forget her name...
"make me bad" by korn...
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73
Why did you choose your USER NAME?
by In Between ini think some people actually use part of their real name.
i chose mine because i really feel 'in between', in that space where your not a jw anymore but really haven't figured out where you are in life and what path you want to take.
just thought it would be an interesting topic.
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zanex
well it was listed on the bottle initally but when the bottle ran dry i changed it a bit to reflect the personality left post-medication...from xanax to zanex...funny that i seem to be a lot more put together OFF medication than i was when i was ON medication...maybe the zanex works better than the xanax...a psychological cure for a psychological problem...lol...
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9
havent seen much poetry lately...
by zanex inand my parents have been very painfully been intruding into my life from a very jw angle lately and it doesnt help that i work with a buttload of other jws that happen to know my parents and see them fairly regularly...nevermind that they dont bother to tell me that they are coming into town but they tell a whole lot of jws who i happen to work with...i happen to be in a fairly heavily jw emplyd field...language translation.
anyway...make a long story short i sat down in front of my laptop after an excruciating evening of work and this came out of my fingers....i felt like the only place it cud be understood is here..... living in the past.
mind wallowing in self defeat.
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zanex
thanx spaz, havent seen ya in a while! Glad yer shtill around kickin..im doing better than the poem lets on...
stealth: wow..its good to hear that my meager collection of words can have some kind of impact somewhere...maybe the next generation doesnt have to have the pain and anger that some of us had to go through...and check yer pm's, i got back to ya
arwen: thanx...every little bit helps.
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9
havent seen much poetry lately...
by zanex inand my parents have been very painfully been intruding into my life from a very jw angle lately and it doesnt help that i work with a buttload of other jws that happen to know my parents and see them fairly regularly...nevermind that they dont bother to tell me that they are coming into town but they tell a whole lot of jws who i happen to work with...i happen to be in a fairly heavily jw emplyd field...language translation.
anyway...make a long story short i sat down in front of my laptop after an excruciating evening of work and this came out of my fingers....i felt like the only place it cud be understood is here..... living in the past.
mind wallowing in self defeat.
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zanex
and my parents have been very painfully been intruding into my life from a very JW angle lately and it doesnt help that i work with a buttload of other JWS that happen to know my parents and see them fairly regularly...nevermind that they dont bother to tell ME that they are coming into town but they tell a whole lot of JWS who i happen to work with...i happen to be in a fairly heavily jw emplyd field...language translation. Anyway...make a long story short i sat down in front of my laptop after an excruciating evening of work and this came out of my fingers....i felt like the only place it cud be understood is here....
Living in the past
Mind wallowing in self defeat
The blows of eternity smashing my mind
But never do I call the mental retreat
I live for me now
I love with no limit
My TRUE family found at last
A life cannot be imagined without it
The price was steep…
Cost so dear for this truth
Paid in blood
Paid for with my youth..
I miss you my father..
I miss you my mother..
I remain your son
I remain your brother…
Where did things change?
Where did I become so wrong?
Why is it all of a sudden…
I don’t belong?
We share the same blood..
We live the same name
I remember you still
But you don’t know me the same…
It hurts…
Hurts that I wont ever be good enough
Hurts I always have parts of you
I suppose things must always be rough
I look at my daughter now..
I see mom in her eyes
I see dad in her mind
But now grandma, pa all u have are lies..
I didn’t expect to see my mother in my girl
I give her all you cant give me
I will always give it..
No matter how she comes to me…
I love you mom and dad…
But somewhere I have to stop
I have to let you go…
The guillotine I must drop
thanx fer being here... -Z-
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52
What has this board given to you?
by Crumpet inhaving cooled down a bit in the garden i got to thinking about what this board has given me and wondered what anyone else feels they have gained from it.. for me its been invaluable and even life changing:.
1) freedom from the brainwashing - when i came here i had already read ray franz's books and still believed it jws had the truth - hat i was basically worthless and that i would die at armageddon.
the reasoned conversations and help of the posters from all over the world has enabled me to have freedom of thought - something i didnt even know i didnt have until i spent time here.. 2) friends who empathise and know from an experience what i have been through in a way outsiders can never possiby understand.. 3) entertainment - unbelievable laughs and moments of humour that have cheered me up so many times.. 4) association - via the aposta bbqs and telephone chats i can now have so i don't feel so isolated and to some extent alleviates the awful pain of separation from my loved family.. 5) information - from this board and posters here i have found out things that were my right to know but would never have learnt otherwise - my sisters marriage, my aunts tragic death.. 6) reunions - i have now met at least one person who knows me from my childhood and has grown into a man of such kindness and patience that i would have missed out on completely had he not been here and been kind enough to hold my hand - even when i've been an irritating totured little idiot!.
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zanex
a new starting place....somewhere that the theology that was rammed down my throat for so long can rot...a good friend that i truly appreciate, thanx lis, and a whole REAL world of people here that can do the one thing that i think is truly lacking in the society-speak the truth...
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35
when and where
by purplebunnyfoofoo in.
when and where were you baptized.
1974 in evansville indiana, roberts muncipal stadium
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zanex
1980 something or other... denver, co the details a little fuzzy..might have drank too much "spiritual water" while under..lol
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3
New World Translation in American Sign Language
by cabasilas ini was told some of the new world translation has been produced in asl (american sign language).
i have a few items on dvd already but would like to see if they have any of the nwt in asl.
not that i recommend the translation but would be curious to see it.
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zanex
well currently they are finishing up matthew...i havent seen the actual dvds themselves because it is old friends of mine that are now doing thei nterpreting work and it still pains me sometimes...i do have access....they dont talk to me now but i do have access thru other sources...