today i found out that my dad committed suicide, probably on sunday sometime.
his body was found today and the plano police department called me.
i am numb and grieving, kind of relieved for a lot of reasons, and very very sad.
Sorry to hear about your Father's death. My thoughts and condolences goes out to you and your family. Besides dealing with the loss having to be in more pain with Org.
I hope this is a comfort knowing you have this site for support.
All the Best, Kathi(OCW)
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anyone know of persons who tried to kill themselves or did kill themselves when they were df?.
and while i didn't try, i certainly felt like it.. beryl
Yes I lost a friend in the late 1970's. She was disfellow shipped. She was dealing childhood sexual abuse. She was Biopolar. The Elders had no way of dealing with mental illness. It's easier to DF'ed. than to deal with issues. She tried many many times to kill herself an finally succeeded.
I found out three weeks later from another friend that she died. I was pretty upset she said well I would'nt be going to her furneral because she df'ed. I said that was'nt right. It would be my decision whether I would go or not.!!! Talk about anger!! And you know what I would have gone to her furneral. Out of respect for her family. Her husband was Dfed too.
BeryBlue I support you in talking to someone if thoughts come up wanting to hurt yourself. I don't know if you are courting the idea or not??
Keep close the forum.
All the Best Oldcrowwoman
have you ever had a horoscope be so accurate that it gave you goosebumps?
here lately they have all been hitting close to home.
today's was particularly right on.
hi robdar
I believe in astrology. Had extensive reading done. Pretty much right on. And my relationship to my children. This person did'nt know me on personal level. blew me away by her information that was true.
I had this reading done about 8 yrs ago. It was a 5 year overveiw . The one piece she told that I would have to make a big change with my job. Well I kinda of blew it off. I was working as Nursing Asst. for 13 years in the ER. I was developing foot problems and having difficulty walking. I knew I had to make a change or the universe was going to make it for me. I made the change working as a clerk in the ER. and not having to be on my feet all the time. It was a wise decision. Not too long after changing I remembered what was said in my reading. I believe in it.
I never felt it was demonizing. Far I am concern its another scare tactic used by the org.
As far as the horoscope in the paper is pretty generic and vague.
OWC
after my child was sexually abused i found myself wondering, not only about how to help my child cope with the actual crime committed, but also how would i deal with the organization, the pedo, the other congregation members etc, and how would the way i dealt with it all affect my child (victim) and the other siblings?.
the borg expected me to leave it all to the elders (only the 2 that knew about the crime) and the rest to jehovah.
ok, but then i got df for trying to protect other children in the congo because the 2 elders weren't.
bliss:
The big piece in healing from abuse is the support from the parents and is believed that it happen. The child knows he or she is safe and protected. I am proud of you for standing up for your child.
Fortunately I am thankful having been pushed out of the org. for exposing domestic violence. I am DA'ed. My two daughters were sexually abused by their father and two step -sons. After the fact. We had no involvement with jw's. with the abuse allegations. Their father at the time was disfellowshipped for being involved with another woman (jw).
I reported the abuses to Child Protection their report went to the police.The police turned the case over to the County Attorney. the County Attorney pressed charges against their father and step-sons.
What came out of the hearing was their was no contact with the step-sons. And their father contact was by phone or letters. He was to re-established contact with the Girls through the county social services. He chose not to establish visitations. Says a whole alot of his christian character as a father!!!
In the 1990's I was involved with 40 other women on video project on "Healing from Rape" with alot of internal workings and support from other women I chose to name jw org. on video and stated" THE JW ORG. IS A SAFE HAVEN FOR PERPETRATORS AND TO USE THE ORG. AS A FRONT TO EXPLOIT OTHERS FOR THEIR GAIN'".
This project was used in different rape and domestic violence centers around the country. My hope was to be of help to another jw in similar circumstances and they were'nt alone.
For the last 6 months is important for me to talk about abuses to take the raw edges of shame and pain. Change does'nt come around by not talking about abuse and its effects that has on all of us.
I am proud to be standing next to you Blliss. All the Best, Crow Woman
i am writing a letter to my ex-ma-inlaw regarding abuse allegations.. is there someone who can quote the passage from the bible regarding " a husband to love himself as well as his body??
i have a silver moment.
this will probably be the last time i ever refer from the bible.
Nathan
Thanks for the info. Appreciate your help. OCW
i am writing a letter to my ex-ma-inlaw regarding abuse allegations.. is there someone who can quote the passage from the bible regarding " a husband to love himself as well as his body??
i have a silver moment.
this will probably be the last time i ever refer from the bible.
I am writing a letter to my ex-ma-inlaw regarding abuse allegations.
Is there someone who can quote the passage from the bible regarding " A husband to love himself as well as his body?? I have a silver moment.
This will probably be the last time I ever refer from the bible. When I was pushed out of the org.I have 3 boundaries I set up for myself that I would'nt engage in conversation 1) religion 2) doctrines and 3) bible.
I appreciate the help.ocw
well i did it...i sent my mom the following lwetter.
i hope i wasn't too hateful and i was hoping to get some feedback from you all and have you done the same and with what results?.
dearest mother, i hope that my letter finds you well.
Hi Valis. I wanted to acknowledge my feelings about the response to your Mother. I did'nt feel it was harsh or disrespectful.The letter is about educating about the reality of Sexual abuse in the org. I am assuming that it took alot of thought and energy to put in words.
I kinda see the letter as away of planting seeds with your Mother. Some will sprout , some will grow and end up with beautiful flowers. And may be it will lay dormant. Out come of our planting is that its out of our control whether they will germinate. The planting was done.
One of many pieces of my recovery that I am working on is sending a letter to my ex-Mother-in-Law. By your example I have some idea of how to write this letter of my experience of abuse and my children and to educate about the realities of sexual abuse in the org.
My ex-Mother-in-law(JW) is very toxic person.The reality she abused my ex-husb. He himself is a perp.
Actually I want to rip her lips. But I won't act on it. I been sorting out what I need to say to her without me being disrespectful. I've come to the place where I can educate on the realities of Domestic violence and sexual abuse.
And to educate her about my experiences with SilentLambs.
I planted the seeds. I who has no control over how the seeds grow.
Its very healing for me to write and to put where it belongs. To let go of the ill feelings I have towards her. I've carried them too long.
Thank you Valis for the gift.
All the Best, Old Crow Woman
dan fitzwater used to pull his daughters pants down to beat their butts well into their teens.
dan, of course is a child molester.
the only other man i knew that did that is also a child molester!
Hi Laurie. This Kathi from Minneapolis. Wanted to say I admire your courage in sharing your struggle. Certainly a huge step for you. I am proud of you for speaking out . For most of us did'nt have good role models for parenting. To give yourself a pat for recognizing the differents. You did the best you could. Feeling shame can put a damper on our relationship with self and others. Sharing with others dispell the power that shame has over us. Self-forgiveness comes in layers. Took me a long time to figure that out. Glad you're here . All the Best, Kathi
since i am a newbie here i am just curious about everyone else on the group.
i live in missouri and have most of my life.
i lived in ca.
Hi Sandra:
I met so many wonderful people. It was overwhelming to remember names. Please refresh my memories. Give a description of self and where were you from? Yes I was the only one from Minnesota. That was a powerful experience in Brooklyn. I could write a story from the time I left Mn to New York. and with the experiences shared. Hope to hear from you soon. You go by Mum on the forum. All the Best, Kathi
since i am a newbie here i am just curious about everyone else on the group.
i live in missouri and have most of my life.
i lived in ca.
I am new on the site. Taking my time in connecting. I am from Minneapolis, Minnesota. I was in the org. 14 years. My daughters and I recoverying from abuses from the org. I am not conected to any religious org. I have no desire to either. I experienced heavy consequences for my involvement with jw's, shunning from friends and family. Particularily my oldest being estranged 5 years. I never had hope of reconnecting with her. Never allow that for self. I could'nt set my self up. After her first child she took the risk and sent me a card and stating I could be with my Gandson for the afternoon. As its turned out . I have connection with her and husband and 4 children.
I told her if she ever goes away again that I need to know. She can be disfellowshipped having contact with me. She's willing to take the risk. Never thought that would happen. Its 7 years now.
I divorced my husband(abuser). Single person I love my freedom . I don't take for granted in alot of ways. I work in the ER county hospital. I enjoyed job and to work with diversity. Jw's do come. But I am not acknowledge. Every one is treated respectfully.
I am active in the Gay and Lesbian communilty, sobriety , survivor groups and women's spirituality group. Artist working with nature. Spending time with my Grand kids and family. My focus in the future is to put my energy in helping SilentLambs in Minnesota and on a granduer scheme of things. Hope to hear from others. oldcrowwoman
