Posts by oldcrowwoman

Its true each of us are on the recovery road at different places. Personally myself I am at a place to channel my energies in making awareness of the atrocity(sp) of the org. Its my way of taking my power back.

I think you would be surprised as to how many are working for awareness and change.

I support you in taking care of yourself. Thats something as women don't do .

All the Best, OCW

263

Growing up a gay Jehovah's Witness (My Life Story)

by m0nk3y in

i feel the need to express how i feel and felt about my life as a gay man.

i was brought up from birth as a jehovahs witness.

this has played a major part in my life and it has been a real struggle to get past.

oldcrowwoman

Josh~~~~~~~~~*Hugz*

I am proud of you!!!!!!

I understood the energy in writing your story. It takes incredible strength to pull it up and to put words to the feelings. I see this as a way of healing for you~~~~ It's a way of taking care of yourself and allow others to see part of the process in coming out. We as gay people have stories to share in coming out. For me coming out is an on going process and it is for you and others.

It was Gay Pride Festival the past week-end here in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Huge turn out. There was a parade and part of the parade were two blocks of parents, families who supported their son or daughter. Called PFLAG . They received a standing ovation. And each year I cry. And touches my pain in lack of support from family. But also its impowering to see those who stand by their children.

So Josh I admire your courage and strength. And maybe by you sharing will open a door to another on this site.

All the Best, OCW (your sister) <not in a jw way!!!

6

Who are some of your favorites who are not so well unknown here?

by oldcrowwoman in

jw
friends

my thinking on this subject is the stereo typing.

for my most of my life i struggled to be in the crowd.

what i realize it comes from within.

oldcrowwoman

My thinking on this subject is the stereo typing. For my most of my life I struggled to be in the crowd. What I realize it comes from within. Cause one can be lonely in the incrowd. I think what opened the door for me. When I met up with my high school buddies recently. I had'nt seen for 20 some years.

To watch my best friend trying to win points with the supposedly popular woman. And to see the struggle and pain to get that attention. " I said to her, you are okay the way your are!! " I don't know if she understood. But I could measure within myself I had no need to wave my arm and saying I am here. But those old messages keeping creeping in every now and then. Especially when its been so ingrained from childhood.

I don't have some favorites. I see this board as we all are favorites and whatever way we contribute to being here. And Being here is a statement .

OCW

30

Happy B'D to me, Happy B'D to me, la la la

by Trotafox in

jw
friends

yep...july 1. almost a firecracker.

trot .

: "life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here, we may as well dance.

oldcrowwoman

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU~~~~~~~~~~~~~~many more returns

OCW

19

What was you JC Meeting like?

by sandy in

jw
friends

(inspired from caspian's thread) i hope the stories help rebel.

i was just wondering if any of you would like to share the details of your jc meeting.. i remember mine so well.

i was about 22 years old when i went to a jw relative of mine and broke my silence about sexual abuse i suffered as a child.. at this point i was involved in some normal young adult behavior (sex, drugs & rock n' roll) but because of my religious upbringing i was going crazy over it all.. well somebody took the liberty of telling the elders i wanted to talk to them about my devious behavior that i never admitted to anybody.

oldcrowwoman

My experience was of betrayal, abandonment and total lack of understanding in dealing with domestic abuse.

A nightmare from hell. I came out battered. I went there for support. I said I needed out. There is no way this relationship could continue. I said I would be pushing daisies up somewhere. They wanted us to date to rekindle our relationship and the last 14 yrs pushed aside.

I took it further and taking the risk exposing rapes. I figure what did I have to lose and layed the cards on the table. The one responses I was told "well you know how men are"? Emotionally I fell off the chair and having the wind knocked out me. I refused to memorize quotes from the bible. I mange to pull this one up out my brain. Paraphrase about a man loving himself as he does towards his wife. Something like that!! There were no reponse. I had them by the balls!!!! If they were christains how could they condone this kind of behavior.

So in reality I was pushed out. I started smoking to get myself disfellowship. It would have been against my valves to go out and have affair.

After the divorce was final I walked into the Kingdom Hall on a Sunday am. Which felt like I was walking into a freezer everybody was gathered at the hall. Went straight to the back and threw my papers on the desk in front of the elders. To this day I don't know what I said. I knew I was flaming hot~~~~~~~~~~. Picked up the papers and walked out of the Kingdom hall . As I was walking out felt like the furnace was on.

I wrote a letter and DA'ed myself.

I did run into one of the elder's at the store. I told him my children suffered abuse from their Father. The court ordered no visitation. The girls were going to meetings still. I needed to know they would be safe and not to have contact with the children.

The elder did apologized to me for pushing me out.(one of seven) And understood they were manipulated by the ex. I knew if I layed in the weeds the truth would come through. I said to him I hear your apololgy but I can't accept it. I was burned. I don't know if I can forgive or forget??

OCW

46

How far does the shunning go for you, by your JW parents or children?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

my dad is a jw, trying to reach out to be an elder again......also pioneering.

i saw my cousin , his nephew , the other nite at the dance club......i told him i havent seen my dad, nor heard from him in almost 2 years.

he said he saw him a while back but that he heard he moved.. last time i talked to my dad, it was over me not going to the circuit assembly he was trying to get me to go to.

oldcrowwoman

Hi lyineyes~~~~~~~~~~~

I was DA'ed before my daughters left home. In the meantime I asked both of them to wait to get baptized when they reached 18 or after. I said its a huge committment and it would be a huge impact on our lives.

The oldest was baptized 15 yrs old and the youngest 14yrs old. I felt heart sick I knew what the consequences I would be facing down the road.

The oldest graduated moved out. The relationship was severed. There are no words to describe the pain. It did'nt have to do with our personal relationship and knew it was'nt about me as a Mother. When She went thru the door I said the door is always open.

I had to do whatever where to keep myself together with my youngest. She had contact with my oldest. So she was put in the midddle of all this crap. She started to act out and her coming to accept that she was abused. She faded out of the org. She could'nt stand and watch me being in pain of the shunning treatments.

The oldest reconnected with me after 5 years of separation. She had gotten married in those 5 yrs. I was'nt invited. The youngest was her maid of honor. She had a child. I think she realized the mother and child connection.

Sent me a card asking if I want to have my grandson of the afternoon. Out of blue I said I would like to meet her and him at a cafe.

It was a emotional experience for the both of us. I never never held out hope of ever seeing her again. The relationship has grown over time. Now she is on the edge of it all. She says she's too lazy to go to meetings. I think there is more ot it.

My heart goes out to all of you. I don't understand how a org. can put wedges between families and friends. It makes no sense.

All the Best, OCW

58

Just wanted to say goodbye

by Aztec in

jw
friends

i'm going to be offline for quite a while.

i'm moving this weekend and the computer i use belongs to my sister.

since i will no longer be living with her i won't have daily access to a computer.

oldcrowwoman

Hi Aztec~~~~~~~~~~~~~.

I want to wish the best and possibly getting job you want. And that you deserve. My thoughts will be with you.

I'll miss your posts while you are gone. Take care!!!!

All the Best, OCW Kathi

ps. check pm.

49

On Your Tombstone, What Would You Like To Have Written?

by minimus in

jw
friends

how do you want to be remembered?

oldcrowwoman

" What can I say? Not much"

Old Crow famous words~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OCW

32

why do you post?

by SpiceItUp in

jw
friends

seems its been awhile since we had one of these questions go round so i figured with all the newbies lately we shuld get a new one going.

i get to do it cause well umm errr..... i've been here for over a year (and yes noone noticed *sniff* *sniff* but thats ok).

soooo without further ado on to the question at hand..... why do you post here?.

oldcrowwoman

I had been in isolation for 20 some years this has open the door for me for my healing process. And what I am doing is my story and examining my experiences with what is shared here. I copy my responses that will go into a journal.

I've done alot of family or orgin and journal my life . That was before being a jw.

Otherwise its pretty overwhelming to start out in the beginning. I am gratefull for this site.

Met alot of wonderful people here. Grateful for the opportunity.

OCW