How far does the shunning go for you, by your JW parents or children?

LyinEyes

My dad is a JW, trying to reach out to be an elder again......also pioneering.

I saw my cousin , his nephew , the other nite at the dance club......I told him I havent seen my dad, nor heard from him in almost 2 years. He said he saw him a while back but that he heard he moved.

Last time I talked to my dad, it was over me not going to the circuit assembly he was trying to get me to go to. I refused to go and told him I was starting to doubt that all people would be destroyed by Jehovah at Armeggedon.

He disassociated me before I even officially d/a myself in the congregation.

I ask this question in this thread because , my dad is probably living 1000 miles away from me, if it is where he said he was going , hoping to go, to where the need was great.......( barf). My point is , my dad left no word for me, he left no number, didnt call to at least tell me goodbye , if one of us should die,,,,,, so be it, kiss off , nothing. If something terrible was to happen to him , to me, my sister or his grandchildren, he doesnt want to know, and he doesnt want me to know about him.

I know that there are things that families can talk about in case of emergencies( again barf) as long as it is family business, sickness, etc.

But it seems that some take the extreame route and write you off as dead.

In my dad's eyes, I am dead.

I wonder if you are disfellowshipped or d/a for anything but apostacy,,,,,,,,, are you treated different?

How many have family who also treat you as if you are already dead?

How many have family that will at least speak , or call, or write, or something?

lisavegas420

My dad the elder, called me to personally tell me that his first born daughter "Lisa" was dead to him.

Lisa

mouthy

My daughter came to help when my other daughter was dying>she hadnt spoke to me for 10 years
Then she came again when the Wt said in the KM they could assit the elderly if they were ill. ( I had been in Hospital 10 day) She spoke to me in May ,when I called to tell her my other daughter had a heart attack. Also she did call me in April when I sent her money for her wedding annvesary-so hey !!! four times in 14 years I am blessed > Thank you Governing Body> to allow my own flesh & blood to do as Jesus COMMANDED!!!!!! "Honor your Mother & Your Father!!! ( Thank God I believe you will ALL stand before the judgement throne...

Scully

My parents do not go out of their way to associate with us anymore. Any visiting, phone calls, IM conversations are initiated by me. I get news from siblings who were never baptized JWs.

Oh, my mistake. I was recently informed via e-mail from my father that my grandmother died. Several days after the fact. With all of my other three grandparents (none of my grandparents were ever JWs), I was informed immediately, by phone or in person.

I guess they do love me after all.

Love, Scully

HoChiMin

LyinEyes,

My point is , my dad left no word for me, he left no number, didnt call to at least tell me goodbye , if one of us should die,,,,,, so be it, kiss off , nothing. If something terrible was to happen to him , to me, my sister or his grandchildren, he doesnt want to know, and he doesnt want me to know about him.

Sorry to hear this. The coldness of some because of the WT is astounding. Family ties should be strong, it really takes a CULT controlled mind and a CULT cold heart to act like this.

HCM

Dansk

Unbelievable all of this, isn't it! My two daughters (24) and (19) still haven’t been in contact with either their mum or I for over four months now, both living less than a mile away. The older one’s husband was recently appointed a ministerial servant, so things aren’t likely to get better for quite some time – if at all! The younger daughter is very head-strong, and unfortunately swayed by her friendship with two sisters married to elders.

I can understand it if they were to say I’d been strict as a father. I can’t deny that, but then what’s their excuse with their mum, who’s absolutely wonderful!

Fortunately, my two sons, aged 18 and 13, are right behind their mum and I. Neither has intimated I was ever strict as a father, so maybe I’m still trying to find possible reasons for my girls not being in touch.

The bottom line is, it isn’t our families that are to blame, it’s Watchtower dogma. I have to take my share of the blame here. I taught my daughters too well.

It is extremely hard to believe that the children one took care of all these years can suddenly seem to ignore it all; to seemingly take one for granted.

I feel everyone’s pain here – as I know you do mine. I believe things will get better for all of us. And, let’s face it, had we never been JWs we would never have known one another. That, in itself, is at least one blessing – and a great one at that!

Dansk (who loves Scully for more than just her coffee!)

Lady Lee

After I was DFed my mother barely spoke to me. She never came to my home. If I dropped in there she was polite but cool.

When I had my hysterectomy she never called or visited but I went to see her when she had her nose fixed

When her first great-grand-daughter was born she didn't show up or acknowledge it until she was 3 months old and made it clear that was only because the people at work were beginning to wonder about her!!! My daughter was 14 when she stopped going to meeting and was never baptized. There is no reason to shun her especially when she doesn't shun her sons when they left before they were baptized

One day she called to tell me she was moving 700 KM away. When I asked if I could see her before she left she said no. They were packing the truck and leaving immediately. She did give me her new address.

She refused to come to my second daughter's wedding because I would be there. Didn't send a card or a gift - nothing. She stopped going to meetings when she was 10

When I was moving west she let me stay with her on the trip for one night and one night only and only because the elders said she could.

After that she moved and didn't tell me where she went.

I found out but she has made it pretty clear she doesn't want me in her life. I don't bother any more

I have spoken with her once since I moved out here 4 years ago. That was to tell me that the brother who stopped going to meetings when he was 13 was coming back to Canada - to live with her for a while.

It has been 3 years now with nothing.

Sometimes it is better this way. (((Dede)))

Dansk

Lady Lee,

I find you an immense inspiration. I'm truly sorry about your situation - as I am with everone else's here. It's great to know that here one is taken for who they are, not what they are. The unconditional love here permeates my computer screen and then fills my room, my home and my life.

Thanks everyone!

Love,

Dansk

Shakita

I am one of the lucky ones. My daughter has told me that she will never shun me, and I have told her that I don't consider myself a Jehovah's WItness anymore. We have discussed the JW abuse issue, false doctrines, blood issue....nothing was off-limits, and I still see her almost everyday. I even showed her the COC book, she did not want to read it but let me discuss some points in the book with her. I fear that unless something rocks her secure little JW world of friends and social life, she will never leave the cult. But, since I brought her up this way, I will be there for her no matter what.

God, my heart goes out to you LyinEyes and others here who have family that feels that the organization is a replacement for flesh and blood family members. I wish there was something that I could say or do that would make your pain go away. Even if your family members never leave the organization, never give up hope that they will. Hugs to everyone here who is suffering from this heartless cult.

Mrs. Shakita

garybuss

The relatives and others who chose to shun and snub me and people who are important to me, have made their wishes clear to me and they are not welcome around me ever again. I have moved on without them and they are not important to me. They have divorced me and my family and I have accepted that as final. They are not missed. They are not loved. They willfully hurt me and my family and the door is closed to them.

They don't need me. They have their book publishing corporation and each other. Their place in my life and in my heart is gone and their share of my life and my assets go to the people who have stayed in my life. Now I give back what they have tried to give me. I shun them. Good riddance! Now . . . let's party . . . . Gary

How far does the shunning go for you, by your JW parents or children?

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