Posts by oldcrowwoman

40

What is your worst fear?

by Scully in

jw
friends

a recent death in my family triggered my worst fear - as irrational as it may sound - into a very real possibility.. let me explain: as a global culture, we simply accept that when someone dies, those who care about them will want to gather and offer a meaningful tribute to the person and those who survive them.

with regard to my recently deceased family member - her own children decided against holding a memorial service for her surviving family, which included two children and their respective spouses, eight grandchildren, and seven great grandchildren.

yes, we are spread out over 2000 miles.

oldcrowwoman

Scully relate to your feelings and experiences with death. I am glad you asked the question of fear. Interesting about fear. I connect with the dark and when one talks about fear it becomes light. Because when one does'nt talk about the feeling it becomes this huge monster in one's head. Getting another point of view and the energy changes the fear.

I am aware of my mortality everyday in my work place. I work in a county hospital in the Emergency Room. I seen over the 15 years taking care of people badly injuried or have died. My fear was knowing someone I knew come into the stablization room and die. Especially my children. Three years I had the experience in the stab. room. The woman had died. The injuries she received she was unrecognizable(sp). My job was to clean her up and document her belongings. I knew who she was by name in her check book. I could have been replaced with the situation. I choose to take care of her. I had worked with her on survivor video project for 3 yrs. Her partner and friends were glad that I took care of her. The partner was out of state at the time. Mainly no one came in the er.for her. I wanted to take care of her. They called me this angel. I did'nt feel that. It really was a spiritual moment for me. A matter of being respectful. And hopefully I am treated the same way

By that experience I change jobs within the dept. shortly after. I had seen enough trauma. I'm still the er but not on the front lines.

Just recently we had a co-worker die on the job in the ER. From that experience I remind self that I need to be present in the day in the moment life changes in matter of seconds. I can't be running off into the future.

Thanks again, OCW

19

FINDING BROTHERS WITH GAY FEELINGS TOO

by jw_bhf in

.

if you r a faithful jw and u have gay feelings, u r not alone and u can get help and support from faithful jws who r struggling like u. please email me at [email protected]

oldcrowwoman

I need to put my 2 cents

I am lesbian and recently joined the site for ex-jw gay and to have a connection with others and share stories.

I can understand the feelings of those who posted regarding the request in seeking others with the same issues. More for those who are struggling with their sexuality. Confidentialty is vitally important. Just to have the website named was probably enough.

I feel that mattnoel realized after the fact.

I have'nt quite got the sense if their is homophobia here. I know I went throught it when I first came out. What it boils down is not being comfortable with one's own sexuality. For those who are gay is a double whammy)))))) coming out of a religious cult and to deal with one's sexuality.

When I came out 20 years ago ending a marriage, child custody, put self in tx for alcoholism, came out in terms of my sexuality,ended a relationship with the jw's and deal with sexual abuse issues with my children and myself. My ((((((plate was full))))))))). For the first 5 years I did'nt come out to my children. They themselves had a ((((full plate)))). It was'nt important at the time for them to know. I was under alot of fear because of my ex and org would removed my children from my own home.

My oldest has a had a time with my sexuality but she still loves her mother!!! And the youngest went through a process and fear she was one at 13. She knows she is straight. She is very suppotive of me.

I am in a place now where I am okay and open with my sexuality. I am not here to flaunt it. I have no fear of others. My children are grown adults. But I will educate when their is misunderstanding .

.Thank you for listening. OCW

.

7

Does anybody know how Barbara Anderson and husband doing?

by oldcrowwoman in

jw
friends

i had privledge meeting them at the silentlamb march in sept. i've been thinking about them wondering how their legal action is going?

oldcrowwoman

thanks for the info Alan.

OCW

7

Does anybody know how Barbara Anderson and husband doing?

by oldcrowwoman in

jw
friends

i had privledge meeting them at the silentlamb march in sept. i've been thinking about them wondering how their legal action is going?

oldcrowwoman

I had privledge meeting them at the SilentLamb march in Sept. I've been thinking about them wondering how their legal action is going?

11

If You Could Have Been An Elder, What Would YOU Have Done Differently?

by minimus in

jw
friends

at times, every person has complained about the elders not doing this or that.

everyone had a pet peeve.

if you could have made a change in something, what would you have done to make the congregation a better, happier place?

oldcrowwoman

there would also be women as Elders.!!!!!!!!!!! Equal opportunity.

My experience with the judical committee. One of the elders made the comment off to the side said " he wished their was women on the committee, they would have insight to domestic abuse. " whatever!!!!!!!!!

Interesting his son is a drug addict. The reality is chemical addiction and abuse issues effect the whole family. Its a family problem. I think his head was in the sand.

Interesting in most cultures consider elders as some one to seek answers in life.

OCW

44

Have You Ever Considered Suicide? Have You Ever Thought Of Just Not Living

by minimus in

jw
friends

i know of a few people that have expressed themselves over the years regarding suicide and their loss of joy in living.

after reading some of the horrendous things some have gone through on this board, it is more than concievable to believe that you might have considered such options.

i, personally have never had these thoughts, but some close to me have expressed that if they "could just sleep" in death, they would feel better.

oldcrowwoman

yeah I was pretty close like riding on the edge. towards the end of the marrige. My ex-husband was out of control with his manic-depression and experiencing psychotic eposides. The domestic violence had escolated. My spirit was pretty battered. Remember coming back from my grandmother s in the car with the family. I asked god just do me in. This is'nt the way life should be lived. Neither that put me in the mental hospital and I would sit making baskets. Nobody knew what was going on in our family. Abuser keeps one pretty isolated. You feel like the one thats going crazy. Who would believe these things were happening????

My 5 yr old daughter said Mom why don't you find a apartment Kori and I will come to live with you. She gave me the gift I did find a apt. for the 3 of us. I moved out with clothes,their bed and dresser. I did'nt have much in material.belongings. At the time it was'nt important. All I wanted was to get my sanity back and have some kind of normalcy. I relished my freedom from abuse. And 20 yrs later the feelings of freedom is acknowledge everytime when I walk through the door in my apt.

I've walk through some dark places over time. Thought about ending it. But I never had a plan. I don't consider it a option at present.

It's interesting My therapist told me if I stayed in the marriage. I would be not be alive.

I am grateful to be where I am today. I appreciated this forum and people here. I am glad I made the connection. To the break the silence. For everytime I share a part of my story healing goes on.

thanks for listening. All the Best, OCW

39

Are You Or Aren't You Still a Witness?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i am technically still a jw but not a believer.

oldcrowwoman

I was pushed out of the org 1982. I DA'd self 1982. SOOOOOOOGlad to be OUTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

16

What is your priority in life?

by JH in

jw
friends

are you the type that measures success by the amount of money you have?.

people are all different, and all the same at the same time.

we all want to be happy, healthy and successful, but not everyone takes the same road in life.. what are your priorities in life?.

oldcrowwoman

Good question.

!) is "The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth. My goal is to be at home with self since being Da'ed and got myself out of a domestic abuse relationship. As far as I am concerned its a life time goal.

2) to remain sober and smoke free. Sober 20 years and 6 years smoke free.

3) 2 adult daughters and 5 grandchildren and another due anytime now.

4) being a spiritual artist

5) committed to work with SilentLambs.

6)committed to support groups, friends and spirituality group.

and many more. thanks for asking. OCW

16

What is your priority in life?

by JH in

jw
friends

are you the type that measures success by the amount of money you have?.

people are all different, and all the same at the same time.

we all want to be happy, healthy and successful, but not everyone takes the same road in life.. what are your priorities in life?.

oldcrowwoman

92

My father is dead

by cruzanheart in

jw
friends

today i found out that my dad committed suicide, probably on sunday sometime.

his body was found today and the plano police department called me.

i am numb and grieving, kind of relieved for a lot of reasons, and very very sad.

oldcrowwoman

Sorry to hear about your Father's death. My thoughts and condolences goes out to you and your family. Besides dealing with the loss having to be in more pain with Org.

I hope this is a comfort knowing you have this site for support.

All the Best, Kathi(OCW)