GTTM, all this time I've thought that your username is Going Thru The Emotions.
I've been reading through your older posts and it really does seem that you've been going through a lot of Emotions for awhile now.
You've put up with a lot, you've got your sons out and your wife's behavior keeps deteriorating. You're posting a lot and you sound stressed.
Is it time to put a date on it?
You say your son is 17. Maybe give it till the end of high school for him and then you all 3 are free and clear?
And find counsel and get your affairs in order.
You don't have to put up with the crazy forever. You deserve to have a life, too. And it doesn't look good that your wife is going to change. It sounds like she's only getting in deeper.
Only you know how much you can tolerate, but I just wanted to remind you that you've done right by your sons. And you matter, too.
PS Don't leave the house. She has no right to kick you out. If your name is on the deed, mortgage, or lease it could really screw you.
PPS If the best divorce lawyer in town won't return your calls for a consultation, that means she's already hired them. It's better to be the first.