Oh yeah, I am totally feeling this. Having been raised in "the crazy", I experienced this a lot myself. Nothing is ever positive or uplifting UNLESS it somehow benefits this crazy cult. If it benefits YOU as an individual human being, well that's just "Satan" try to negatively influence you into a sinful lifestyle. And all good JW's know, that anything not somehow pointing towards the benefit of the WTBTS is the broad path to a sinful lifestyle, hedonism, and "Satan", AKA - Everlasting Destruction!
It's all so crazy and self-defeating. No JW lives an authentic life NOW. It's all just going thru the motions for some promised FUTURE life, that MAYBE you will get to live IF you make it past the final judgement at the end of the 1,000 year reign. Maybe. And even after that, if you mess up you'll be instantly vaporized out of existence, because during that time YHWH will have a zero tolerance policy on subordination or independent thinking.