@ Jimcic - I was once a fully-fledged JW who was totally committed to the principles of the Organisation. I met a guy who was not in the "truth" as they call it. He was a couple of years older than me, I was 17 at the time. He was open to studying with one of the guys from the congregation, and that happened for a few months. The trouble was, the studies couldn't answer his questions about god and faith. He was and still is an atheist. Several months passed and I decided that being with him was what I wanted. It meant going through a judicial committee, which is a meeting of myself and 3 of the congregation elders. They subjected me to intense questioning about my relationship with my new boyfriend. I was honest and told them I had had "impure thoughts" and we had engaged in what I then thought was "heavy petting" (side note... kissing with tongues was what I thought was heavy petting, shows what a prude I was then! ) and on that basis I was disfellowshipped because I told them I was going to continue to see him. They said I was to have nothing to do with him as he was a non-believer and worse, an atheist.
I was disfellowshipped. My family ceased to talk to me. At 17 and 8 months I left home and moved in to a caravan with my boyfriend. At 18 and 1 month we got married. My only family who came were ones who were not in the "truth". My mum and brothers, aunt and cousins and grandparents didn't come nor send a card. That was in April 1990. Next year we will be married for 20 years.
Curiously, I was reinstated into the "truth" after about a year of being on the outside. I then had somewhat of an epiphany.. while having my bible study with one of the congregation approved sisters I was told by her that I was very lucky to be allowed back in, and that she personally thought I was going to be killed at armageddon anyway. Turned out that many thought I should not have "had my cake and been allowed to eat it too" as the saying goes. That was when I saw this church for what it was. Not filled with love nor preaching tolerance and forgiveness. So I stopped going. Noone really noticed and life moved on.
I wish you well in your future, if this girl you care for has the depth of feeling for you that I had for my husband then I am sure you will find a way to make it work. I would only add that for me, it was a very hard path, and one that I sometimes fell from because of the pressure to be a "good witness". There will be alot of guilt, tears and pain and I think you should be prepared for that. But there is hope and joy if you can weather the storm.
Peace,
Tiffany
