Dear King,
Belief in a loving "God" -- amongst a tragic world, does seem counter intuitive and gives witness to a "God" with less morals than our own (we who would fix and heal this mess if we had the power to).
What are beliefs other than abstract constructs of thought and emotion? Shall we now put together a new group of beliefs called: "not believing". Perhaps there is another way. Perhaps there is an outside to the box we have lived in.
When all beliefs of "self" and "other" are absent, what remains? When all mental interpretation of existence and judgments of good and bad are silent, what actually exists?
I suggest forgetting about believing one way or the other about "God" or the ultimate significance and Source of life, and instead be deeply present with Life....and see what wisdom and treasures can be found right here, right now. Who/what is this person who wants to know "God"? What if we stop looking outside ourselves for meaning, and instead thoroughly investigate into the most intimate sense of being and existing? What are you, really?
j