i am hoping someone out there maybe from the vancouver area and help me out......i am looking for some background info.
during the late 70's and 80's, i was still quite young and all the bad or nasty stuff was hidden from young ears.
i do remember though catching wind of certain scandals and mass disfellowshippings etc.....but the details were hidden from children and quietly whispered about by the adults.
thanks ascot,
that was the first book i ever read.....it is one of things that started it all for me
the people of vancouver tend to be very cold at times.....bitter.....and well just plain negative.....i was more looking into what happened during those times that shaped the witnesses that i knew
i am hoping someone out there maybe from the vancouver area and help me out......i am looking for some background info.
during the late 70's and 80's, i was still quite young and all the bad or nasty stuff was hidden from young ears.
i do remember though catching wind of certain scandals and mass disfellowshippings etc.....but the details were hidden from children and quietly whispered about by the adults.
i am hoping someone out there maybe from the vancouver area and help me out......i am looking for some background info
during the late 70's and 80's, i was still quite young and all the bad or nasty stuff was hidden from young ears
i do remember though catching wind of certain scandals and mass disfellowshippings etc.....but the details were hidden from children and quietly whispered about by the adults
what i want to know is what did i miss out on......it is not that i want to turn this into a mud slinging thing, cause i don't.....what i am interested in though is what was happening at those times, what kind of scandals and uprisings were taking place that helped shape the group of people i grew up under.....i want to know what made the witnesses in my area who they are today.....does that make sense.....any info any of you can share with me about what influenced or molded or tore apart my local area would be greatly appreciated
although i am out, my parents are still involved with the jw's.
after the fiasco they went thru with me and my brother.
they have remained "faithful", but at the same time deal with there own feelings of doubt and disgruntlement.
Hello all,
Although I am out, my parents are still involved with the JW's. After the fiasco they went thru with me and my brother. They have remained "faithful", but at the same time deal with there own feelings of doubt and disgruntlement. My father was at one time a prominent elder in our area who was removed, because of all the gossip in the area about his out of control children. I honestly think they would stop going themselves, but know nothing else. My father once time told me that he goes to meetings etc because that is what he has done all his life and he knows nothing else. Believe me there was quite a fight when i told him that, I thought, he didn't so much have faith, but rather a life long habit.
Anyway....I digress. The point was that my mother and father are still a very reliable source of info for me, and still fill me in on people that i know, and tend share a lot of there negative expierences with me. I thought i would relate a story here about what is going on in my local area with a family that I have known for as long as i can remember.
A young sister, 23 years old, got married last June. Three weeks to the day of the marrige, her husband roughed her up. He was drunk. He smashed furniture, spit in her face, and threw her around. She ran out of the house. Called her father who on his way to get her called the police. The police arrived at the home to find the girl hiding in her car down the street. She told them what happened. They went into the house, saw the damage and physical evidence on the girl and arrested the husband. He spent a night or two in jail.
The congregation was divided, some supported the husband due to ties with the family, some supported the wife. The girl moved out and back in with her parents. The elders tried to encourage them to get back together, but told the girl she had scriptural grounds for seperation. But that they felt that if the elders gave them both some counselling, they could work it out. Now here comes the kicker......the elders told her that pushing and shoving is very often a fact of life in marriage, and she should forgive him. When mom told me that i nearly fell over. Three weeks in to wedded bliss a wife can and should except a little spousal abuse.....i thought i had heard everything but i guess i was wrong.
Turns out, that while still seperated he messed around on her too. Now they are in the process of a "scriptural divorce". However he was never df'd for any of it. Apparently he acted, in the elders words, out of depression and anxiety. The elders said he showed repentance. At this point almost the entire congregation is against the girl......want to know why......apparently the whole thing could have been avoided if she had not overreacted to some minor, pushy and shoveing, from a drunken husband who was not in his right mind.
where did the love i used to hear so much about go
Any similar experences out there
i have only been an active member for a couple of days here, or a newbie as we are affectionatley called.
since i have been here though, on a few occasions, i have been asked about my choice of nicname and what it means or why i chose it.
since there is a reason behind it, and in my mind it stands for something, i thought i would share it's orgins with you all.
thanks inkie.....i also repsect your feelings and thoughts.....thanks for sharing yours with me
i have only been an active member for a couple of days here, or a newbie as we are affectionatley called.
since i have been here though, on a few occasions, i have been asked about my choice of nicname and what it means or why i chose it.
since there is a reason behind it, and in my mind it stands for something, i thought i would share it's orgins with you all.
the intro goes like this:
"it was soon i discovered.....that this rock thing was true,
jerry lee lewis was the devil
jesus was an arcitect, previous to his career as a prophet
all of a sudden i found myself in love with the world
so there was only one thing that i could do
ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long"
after the song, it ends with the words:
"jesus built my car
it's a love affair
mainly jesus and my hot rod
yeah f**k it"
i have only been an active member for a couple of days here, or a newbie as we are affectionatley called.
since i have been here though, on a few occasions, i have been asked about my choice of nicname and what it means or why i chose it.
since there is a reason behind it, and in my mind it stands for something, i thought i would share it's orgins with you all.
in response to inkie and freedom96:
jesus is now a figure i associate with the JW's.....i have not yet found a reason or an outlet to veiw him in any other way.....to me he is a character in a story that was used to manipulate my way of thinking and alter the course of my teenage years.....satan, the society, jesus and god all tend to be wrapped up in each other at this stage of my life......for me my name is a play on words......the who stole it is not really the point......the fact that it was stolen is really the message......as i said.....organized religion is what i have grown to detest......jesus or a form of him is closely connected with almost all forms of religion.....saying that jesus stole it could easily be converted to religion in general......the fact that the bands name was Ministry was always very ironic to me.....that Jesus was involved added to the punchline.....that is all......in my world and in my mind.....Jesus did steal my hot rod......one day.....i may find a way to get it back......for now though.....i am content to catch the bus
.
for those who were witnesses, and passed many years there, do you feel as if you are scarred for life by this experience?.
.
absolutley
the memories sometimes are all to real......i grew up feeling very alone.....just plain empty.....the fear of disapointing people i believed truly cared about me was overwhelming.....i found out later they didn't care.....that self preservation and standing was all they cared about.....when i was growing up there was a huge scandal in our area and lots of young people got in trouble.....there were all sorts of brothers meeting nightly with the young people in judgemental committees......i will never forget that......watching friends being conviced to rat on friends to try save themselves......having my father trying to convince me the best thing to do was spill the beans on everyone else to show my repentence and conformity.....it was horrible.....it did not matter.....siblings ratted on each other.....friends that i had all my life turned on me to save themselves......all in the name of what.....i still don't know
i have only been an active member for a couple of days here, or a newbie as we are affectionatley called.
since i have been here though, on a few occasions, i have been asked about my choice of nicname and what it means or why i chose it.
since there is a reason behind it, and in my mind it stands for something, i thought i would share it's orgins with you all.
Hello all,
I have only been an active member for a couple of days here, or a newbie as we are affectionatley called. Since I have been here though, on a few occasions, I have been asked about my choice of nicname and what it means or why I chose it. Since there is a reason behind it, and in my mind it stands for something, I thought I would share it's orgins with you all. Hopefully, some of you will find it interesting.
As a teenage witness growing up, i attended alot of witness parties. I am sure you know the type. Basically as there was no real outlet for socialization, and you could not attend scholl parties or dances, a trend began to develop at least in my area, where witness kids would get together for house parties, where there would be dancing and music and all sorts of fun and healthy snacks. These parties were always under adult supervision. Although it seemed to me that the adults always seemed to be upstairs or in the kitchen, sitting around gossiping and drinking. On occasion they would pop there head into the party, take a good look around to make sure that all the kids, if they were doing anything wrong at all, had the decency to at least take it outside, so that there ass was covered.
Music had always been a touching subject. As with the exception of the kingdom songs, Satan spoke through all forms of music and was depleting the morals of the young. Certain songs were taboo. Anything by Madonna, ACDC or the Cult brought huge sighs of disapproval from the "chaparones". And if they got wind of it playing, they would put down there alchohal and come running.
One of the sons that on occasion, seemed to slip by the censors, because it's lyrics were almost indiscernable was by a band called Ministry. The song......Jesus Built My Hot Rod. Eventually they got wise to it and that song to was on a list of the not to be played.
When I look back now on those years of having things like faith and hope and god jammed down my throat while my heart was being ripped out, I am extremeley bitter as you can no doubt tell. Despite years of continueing on with those people, my doubts and questions and basic disobediance to all of the rules eventually caught up with me and I was banished. I was allowed back due to my Oscar winning performance repentance. However I slowly left on my own accord. I was eventually graced with a visit. There was a half assed attempt to pin me with something. When that failed I was told, "well the rest is up to you, if you want to make an effort to come back you can, when you show signs of a more willing spirit we will do we what we can to help if you prove yourself, but until that time you are on your own". Basically it was a we won't call you, so you call us.
So where am I now? Well..... and please do not take any offence to this if any of you have found any happiness in another form of religion (if it works for you, that's great).....but i personally am anti religion in any organized form.....i think it is a sham......i think it is a money pit that holds it's members captive by manipulation and fear......if god does exist he would not what to be represented by anything even remotley close to the religions of today.
Now I look back on those years and feel a sense of loss. I was deprived of alot of the learning expeirence young people need. My teenage years were not spent "enjoying the days of your youth" but rather spent living in fear of my actions, knocking on doors, and trying to please a group of "grey haired men" who knew nothing of my feelings and our dreams, but felt i was a resource in continuing there work.
So.....to sum up.....my feelings are this......Jesus may have built Ministry a hot rod......but the dude stole mine.
end of story
this will be my first post with a specific topic.
i posted here yesterday for the first time.
i wanted to start by saying how nice it was to be so warmly welcomed by those of you that took a minute to say hi.
Hello again,
This will be my first post with a specific topic. I posted here yesterday for the first time. I wanted to start by saying how nice it was to be so warmly welcomed by those of you that took a minute to say hi. I wanted to clarify something though. In my first post, I mentioned that I had lost someone close to me to suicide when they were df'd. It has been assumed and i am to blame for that that it was a friend of mine. The fact is that it was my brother. I am not sure why I did not say that right of the hop, i am guessing it was nerves, and not wanting to unload on my first go I guess. My apologies.
I was very heavily involved with the JW's while growing up. I was raised in the "truth" as the expression goes. My grandfather was one of the originals in my hometown. He basically ran the congregation before there even were elders. My father was made an elder when the elder arrangement was first brought in. I was destined for greatness. When I was in high school I even got the crap kicked out of me for being a witness. I was used as an example. The pressure after that moment was the reason I got baptized. I was pushed into it as an example to other youngsters. I remember all the people that I was not allowed to hang out with growing up as they were "bad". I gave talks at a young age, had all sorts of jobs in the hall, and was made a ministerial servant at 19.
Truth be told, there was alot they did not know about me. I had been having doubts since I was about 16. I had basically been leading one of those "double lives" I heard so much about growing up. If you can believe this, I would leave early for the meetings cause it was my job to open the hall, and i would be smoking on the way. I hid that for years, until, I got caught and was ratted out.
Anyway, the point of this post was to share my first feelings of doubt. I remember, shortly after being baptized, starting to really think about things and god and what it all meant. I could not seem to get my head around one thing. And that was why a loving god would allow the world to get so completley messed up. Even if he had some grand plan or vision, surely what was going on in the world at that stage had proved his point. Why would he allow so much in the way of pain and suffering if he really cared. And then a light went on and i started to really think about it.
First......to believe in god one must except a few things. He has no start or finish, he is all powerful and omnipotent. He sees the future, and knows exactly how it will all go down so to speak. This made me think. If that were true, then even before starting creation, before he made his first anything, he would have had to have known that Satan would rebel, and many would follow. He would have had to have known that Adam and Eve would mess up. If he is so all powerful, the end result of what he started should have been crystal clear to him (or her). My first question then was why go ahead with it. Why not, just not make Satan. Would that have not been easier. Look at all the horrible things that have happened in the world. Millions dead and tortured in wars. Disease, famine, and untold human suffering. For what. To prove some point about how man needs god.....how arrogant.
This lead me to believe that there are only two possibilities. If the above was the case, then a perfect god of unlimited love, created on purpose a system that was doomed to fail. He knew that it would fail and lead to all the horrors that our world knows. If you know something is going to happen and you do it anyway, that means you did it on purpose. So.....to sum up....
God either deliberatley went ahead and made what we live in on purpose, which is apparently impossible for him to do as nothing bad ever comes into his heart. Or he is falible after all......in that he created something that failed.
Just my thoughts....thats all
Feel free to lambast me if you all think it is needed
hello......so this is my first time here......i have been inactive for about 6 years now.....i was disfellowshipped about 11 years ago......but lucky me they let me back in......but i slowly just "fell away" and now i guess i am just an outsider who no one really wants anything to do with......mine is actually a sad story of rejection.....some one very close to me actually killed themselves while disfellowshipped......i am very bitter towards the whole thing and how he was treated.....and how i am still treated.....i guess now i am just a closet anarchist (hope that is spelt right) who secretly wishes the whole damn organization would just fall apart and disappear......anyway.....i just wanted to say hi......i am interested in everyones comments and theories in here......i have one of my own on how god is either falible or screwed the whole planet up on purpose......but that is probably not the kind of thing discussed here......i hope to check in regular and get involved in the discussions......thanks
Hello......so this is my first time here......i have been inactive for about 6 years now.....i was disfellowshipped about 11 years ago......but lucky me they let me back in......but i slowly just "fell away" and now i guess i am just an outsider who no one really wants anything to do with......mine is actually a sad story of rejection.....some one very close to me actually killed themselves while disfellowshipped......i am very bitter towards the whole thing and how he was treated.....and how i am still treated.....i guess now i am just a closet anarchist (hope that is spelt right) who secretly wishes the whole damn organization would just fall apart and disappear......anyway.....i just wanted to say hi......i am interested in everyones comments and theories in here......i have one of my own on how god is either falible or screwed the whole planet up on purpose......but that is probably not the kind of thing discussed here......i hope to check in regular and get involved in the discussions......thanks