I know what you mean.......After having to defend my ( Societies) stand on birthdays for so many years, it's almost like a matter of pride. You know in your heart it's NOT WRONG to celebrate, but to actually start singing the birthday song feels like you're comprimising your beliefs, even though you don't REALLY BELIEVE it's wrong. I can "passively" enjoy a birthday party and derive joy out of it without feeling guilty. But like you said, we've been "programmed" too much. And when you've made so many stands against it, the pride thing keeps me from getting into it "too much". I don't want to see that self righteous smirk on my sisters' face either.
Integ.