Let me say first i am not telling this for sympothy in any way, my growing up is a lot better then a lot of kids,the horror some of these defenseless babys and children have, the death penalty is to good.The reason i call these threads ..my secrets, is something you dont talk about outside those walls as i am sure other's on this sight can relate to.I am telling my story so many of you can understand why i am trying so hard and long to get my husband out of this sick cult.He is all i have known since i was fifteen.Some of you have asked if my parents were jws? no catholics,some asked why the neighbors did nothing ,no one wanted to get their nose dirty i guess and two neighbors were cops.Before i start more of my life ,please when i wright a thread about what ever ...please dont tell me i need to talk to someone or i am feeling this way because of my child hood.If any thing it has made me a strong person in many ways.I as many in simular situations are good at blocking things out and becoming callus to situations.I promised not do drag this on and here i go .All right i will shut up and get on with it.Growing up i learned there are, mean drunks, nice drunks, quiet drunks,etc.Lucky me mom was a mean drunk.When she did get out of her bed , for her alcohlic delivery,my sister and i would run upstairs to our room and push our beds against the door .I can't say some of the things she had done to me ,it is to hard.Notice i said things done to me , i always felt my mother hated me , she always treated me cruel,punishing me for no reason or just letting me know i was worthless.Finally during one of her trips out of her room to get the wonder juice delivery, she stopped to tell me how i ruined her life by becoming pregnant with me,I guess the story goes my mother was going to leave my father and one night he raped her and became pregnant with me .Oh ya it was my idea to just jump in her womb.Any way thats just some .more tid bits of home.Living with my syco sister didnt last to long ,my other sister now almost eighteen was married and had a baby, me i was fifteen and pregnant waiting for my sixteenth b-day( pagan) to get married.Well got married things were rough but alright till a cult member started to talk to my husband at work, well he told me we got sucked in , after a year or two i felt something was wrong with this so i left it but my husband was trapped.To me i have a much stronger mentality were as my husband who says he had a good childhood is very weak and gullible.Next had four great kids (my life) and a husband whose life is work, the hall, and himself.Now i am fortyfive all kids grown and gone but one ,he's ninteen.I am always in contact with my next oldest sister,but not with my oldest. My brother i see a few times a year , and mother, she was constantly put in nut houses and would get out and go soeone would put her back in . She married a drunk she found in the nut house and within a few months he wound up dead. THen she married again this time it took and she stayed sober for twenty years .We would see her once in a while and that was enough.Then her husband died of a stroke she moved around by my sister and me life was pure hell with her, she started drinking again,i refused to ever see her again, the last i heard she died of lung and brain cancer.That's really about it i could go on but i think i've said plenty.I do not think of my childhood years as terrible, that was all i knew life to be.As for my mother , i never got her to like me even in my adult years of trying .Last i heard she was cremated and my hopes are her ashes feel in someones septic. that's all folks
Posts by kls
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13Sharring my secrets..continues..and the end
by kls inlet me say first i am not telling this for sympothy in any way, my growing up is a lot better then a lot of kids,the horror some of these defenseless babys and children have, the death penalty is to good.the reason i call these threads ..my secrets, is something you dont talk about outside those walls as i am sure other's on this sight can relate to.i am telling my story so many of you can understand why i am trying so hard and long to get my husband out of this sick cult.he is all i have known since i was fifteen.some of you have asked if my parents were jws?
no catholics,some asked why the neighbors did nothing ,no one wanted to get their nose dirty i guess and two neighbors were cops.before i start more of my life ,please when i wright a thread about what ever ...please dont tell me i need to talk to someone or i am feeling this way because of my child hood.if any thing it has made me a strong person in many ways.i as many in simular situations are good at blocking things out and becoming callus to situations.i promised not do drag this on and here i go .all right i will shut up and get on with it.growing up i learned there are, mean drunks, nice drunks, quiet drunks,etc.lucky me mom was a mean drunk.when she did get out of her bed , for her alcohlic delivery,my sister and i would run upstairs to our room and push our beds against the door .i can't say some of the things she had done to me ,it is to hard.notice i said things done to me , i always felt my mother hated me , she always treated me cruel,punishing me for no reason or just letting me know i was worthless.finally during one of her trips out of her room to get the wonder juice delivery, she stopped to tell me how i ruined her life by becoming pregnant with me,i guess the story goes my mother was going to leave my father and one night he raped her and became pregnant with me .oh ya it was my idea to just jump in her womb.any way thats just some .more tid bits of home.living with my syco sister didnt last to long ,my other sister now almost eighteen was married and had a baby, me i was fifteen and pregnant waiting for my sixteenth b-day( pagan) to get married.well got married things were rough but alright till a cult member started to talk to my husband at work, well he told me we got sucked in , after a year or two i felt something was wrong with this so i left it but my husband was trapped.to me i have a much stronger mentality were as my husband who says he had a good childhood is very weak and gullible.next had four great kids (my life) and a husband whose life is work, the hall, and himself.now i am fortyfive all kids grown and gone but one ,he's ninteen.i am always in contact with my next oldest sister,but not with my oldest.
my brother i see a few times a year , and mother, she was constantly put in nut houses and would get out and go soeone would put her back in .
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16
sharring my secrets
by kls inyou all are so special, i just finished reading the thread i posted the other day and again you all made me cry(probably girl thing) not in a bad way but in a happy way,sometimes i think i found you guys just in time.so because of your caring i would like to share my life story,no i won,t drag it on.i was raised in a home with two sisters and a brother,i was the youngest ,i am three years younger then one sister ,ten years between my other sister and twelve years younger then my brother.father was a beater,belts,boards but his favorite was his fists,i went to school with plenty of black eyes and lying were they came from.my older sister and brother were married and out of the house and very seldom visited.as kids my brother and sister were beat also so there was alot of tenson when they did visit.so with my one sister and me we take the beatings for them and hide in our rooms hoping we didn,t do any thing to irritate our parents.my mother , i swear she would blow things out of perportion just to see us get beat , i think because she was beat so offen by my dad , i would hear them in my room at night or in the day , the shit would start to fly and we just hid.my parents were both drinkers but usually it was moderate until i was about ten years old and my sister was twelve, the drinking became out of control especially for my mom,fights got more intense till it was like living in a war zone.it got to the point that my mother never left her bedroom and was drunk twentyfour hrs.
a day, not even coming out to eat.my dad ,sister and me would do the shopping and cleaning and cooking.life was ,well for my sister and me was becoming normal .then one day coming home from school ,i see the police, my older sister and brother are there..odd, they are all crying and inform me dad killed himself and they just took his body.
well , we have funeral moms drunk at , and all of a sudden everyone is gone to their own lives while my sister and me are stealing food to live.
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kls
You all are so special, i just finished reading the thread i posted the other day and again you all made me cry(probably girl thing) not in a bad way but in a happy way,sometimes i think i found you guys just in time.So because of your caring i would like to share my life story,no i won,t drag it on.I was raised in a home with two sisters and a brother,i was the youngest ,i am three years younger then one sister ,ten years between my other sister and twelve years younger then my brother.Father was a beater,belts,boards but his favorite was his fists,i went to school with plenty of black eyes and lying were they came from.My older sister and brother were married and out of the house and very seldom visited.As kids my brother and sister were beat also so there was alot of tenson when they did visit.So with my one sister and me we take the beatings for them and hide in our rooms hoping we didn,t do any thing to irritate our parents.My mother , i swear she would blow things out of perportion just to see us get beat , i think because she was beat so offen by my dad , i would hear them in my room at night or in the day , the shit would start to fly and we just hid.my parents were both drinkers but usually it was moderate until i was about ten years old and my sister was twelve, the drinking became out of control especially for my mom,fights got more intense till it was like living in a war zone.It got to the point that my mother never left her bedroom and was drunk twentyfour hrs. a day, not even coming out to eat.My dad ,sister and me would do the shopping and cleaning and cooking.Life was ,well for my sister and me was becoming normal .Then one day coming home from school ,i see the police, my older sister and brother are there..odd, they are all crying and inform me dad killed himself and they just took his body. Well , we have funeral moms drunk at , and all of a sudden everyone is gone to their own lives while my sister and me are stealing food to live. This went on for about six months,no mother never came out of her room and was now having her booze delivered to the house(but not food) any way we went from living at my brothers house then my older sisters house were as she made herself our legal guardian witch ment she was intitled to our social security checks and she could now support her drunk husband and two kids and have live in babysitters.Well it,s draggin on so long that i will continue this later but this is the first installment stay tuned.
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17
those sick bastards are winning
by kls inwith the un on the tv all the time my husband is just stuck to it waiting for jw prophesis to come true it is so sick , you can just see the mind minulipulation going on in his head.i have been reading about the un and the watchtower in threads and in freeminds , i was not surprised but very hopeful that this maybe what i need to finally get my husband to see the sickness of this cult.i printed out the photocopy on freeminds and showed it to him ,also everyday he reads the dailytext thats supposed to have bible verses for each day, i compared his text with the bible and found many differences and each text ends with the wt page and yr this verse was in.well i confronted him and holy crap he went nuts , screaming , it's all lies that is an apostate sight, anyone can print anything about us.i told him i could send a letter to the un for conformation, well that did it he threw a cup and smashed it and looked crazed.you would think after all these yrs of him being in a cult i could accept it , but i can,t ,i know what it is and it makes me sick , i am starting to believe these sick asses are going to win, one way or another i will get away from this.
the despise for this cult grows by the minute.
the only thing keeping me sane is all of you , i feel very cared for here ,you all can think for yourselves and say how you feel, i think i know all of you more then my husband of 29yrs.
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kls
With the UN on the tv all the time my husband is just stuck to it waiting for jw prophesis to come true it is so sick , you can just see the mind minulipulation going on in his head.I have been reading about the UN and the Watchtower in threads and in Freeminds , i was not surprised but very hopeful that this maybe what i need to finally get my husband to see the sickness of this cult.I printed out the photocopy on freeminds and showed it to him ,also everyday he reads the dailytext thats supposed to have bible verses for each day, i compared his text with the bible and found many differences and each text ends with the wt page and yr this verse was in.Well i confronted him and holy crap he went nuts , screaming , it's all lies that is an apostate sight, anyone can print anything about us.I told him i could send a letter to the UN for conformation, well that did it he threw a cup and smashed it and looked crazed.You would think after all these yrs of him being in a cult i could accept it , but i can,t ,i know what it is and it makes me sick , i am starting to believe these sick asses are going to win, one way or another i will get away from this. The despise for this cult grows by the minute. The only thing keeping me sane is all of you , i feel very cared for here ,you all can think for yourselves and say how you feel, i think i know all of you more then my husband of 29yrs. he's thoughts are through the Watchtower, were all of your's is real. I don't know if any of this is making any sense i am just writing down some thoughts and the confrontation with my husband. Thanks KLS
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21
What Do You Think Is the Typical Attitude Of The Average JW Now?
by minimus indo you think that the average elder, ms, pioneer or publisher is different in attitude today?
would the witness of 10 or 20 years ago, have the same way of thinking as today's jw's?
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kls
When i was in the cult , most elders were actually nice not really out to get you.Didn't really see any of them spying or acting like super beings.I personnaly think the gb is getting on their casses because of law suites and declining cult members .I have notted some average jws all seem to have a chip on their shoulder about what who knows.Maybe their upset cause the end didn't come yet and all us apostates are alive and talking.
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Would you allow someone else to discipline your kids?
by freedom96 inthere is much debate on whether or not a parent should discipline their child by spanking, or sometimes even worse.
minimus asked about this on a recent thread.. it reminded me of hearing stories about how those in positions of authority would sometimes spank a child.
the first that comes to mind is teachers.
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kls
My children are all grown and brought up with a swat on the rear when needed.Severe punishment is never right .I feel a good talking to or time out just doesn't work, after a while the child just thinks its funny and gets used to it.My family was allowed to swat my children if they felt it necessary.If they watched my kids they have the right to .Children are smart and will try and get away with as much as possible and i would never leave my kids with anyone i did not trust to watch and punish in a loving manner.Teachers are just that ,teachers .they have no right to touch any child.
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29
Can We Get To Know Each Other Now?
by Big Tex ini've picked up a little bit about each of you since i've been here, but we're a reclusive little group, aren't we?
well, my picture won't be going up any time soon since i'm a complete internet idiot (tm) and i've registered again completely mucking up the works (sorry simon
perhaps time to start another?
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kls
Let's see, i am 45 female married to a jw.Height 5 7" weight .to much. Have blond hair blue eye's( i am natural blond and they don't have more fun).4 grown kids, 5 grandkids.A lab and a Basset hound and always wanted a pet monkey.That's about the excitement of it. PS. except i am sneaking from my husband being on this board. SHHHHHH ... WELCOME ...... kls
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2
WE ARE HERE FOR YOU
by kls into all in and around new york ,we are all thinking of you ,please know we care.
let board know if we can help in any way.
so sorry, so sad
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kls
TO ALL IN AND AROUND NEW YORK ,WE ARE ALL THINKING OF YOU ,PLEASE KNOW WE CARE. LET BOARD KNOW IF WE CAN HELP IN ANY WAY. SO SORRY, SO SAD
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8
what is it loyality,obligation what?
by kls ini read threads of people who disassociated themselves from the org.from them finding they were lied to,mistreated, what ever the case may be.i was in the org.
many years ago and it just felt wrong so i stopped attending.the longer i was out and my husband stayed in, i researched the org.
as much as possible.i found the lies, i found and felt the hurt it causes familys, the one minded thinking' their way or no way.the org.
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kls
I read threads of people who disassociated themselves from the org.From them finding they were lied to,mistreated, what ever the case may be.I was in the org. many years ago and it just felt wrong so i stopped attending.The longer i was out and my husband stayed in, i researched the org. as much as possible.I found the lies, i found and felt the hurt it causes familys, the one minded thinking' their way or no way.The org. is actually a business to make money on peoples fears.Some of the threads sound like people who have left the org. and are being contacted by elders or others in the org. are afraid to face these brain dead followers.I am not saying this is wrong i am just trying to understand why the obligation , the respect and the problem of just telling them to go away and not come back.If this is what you want ..to be free .If someone came to your door and said read this , believe this or die you would think their nuts and slam the door in their face and not invite them back.What is the obligation.......my wondering mind needs to know. I really would like to know and i am NOT JUDGING.
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what to make of this.
by kls inmy jw husband told me the other day he went to a car dealership and was talking to an employee there he knew, they were watching this woman walking back and forth between cars praying.my husband asked his friend what is she doing?
his friend replyed , she's been here before she is a jehovah witness, with that my husband replyed , i am a witness and we don't act like her ,praying to cars.
his friend took him inside and showed a watch tower that had been changed.
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kls
WARRIGAL, in response to you'r ques. from what my hubby said yes it said watchtower with the picture of the tower missing.
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what to make of this.
by kls inmy jw husband told me the other day he went to a car dealership and was talking to an employee there he knew, they were watching this woman walking back and forth between cars praying.my husband asked his friend what is she doing?
his friend replyed , she's been here before she is a jehovah witness, with that my husband replyed , i am a witness and we don't act like her ,praying to cars.
his friend took him inside and showed a watch tower that had been changed.
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kls
My jw husband told me the other day he went to a car dealership and was talking to an employee there he knew, they were watching this woman walking back and forth between cars praying.My husband asked his friend what is she doing? his friend replyed , she's been here before she is a jehovah witness, with that my husband replyed , i am a witness and we don't act like her ,praying to cars. His friend took him inside and showed a watch tower that had been changed. He noticed the tower on the cover was gone and the place it was published had never been printed , it looked like the real thing but certain printing were missing.Anyone ever hear or see this? if so who and what are these people or magazines? KLS