Posts by berylblue

21

Do you think JW men treat women worst than 'other' men in power?

by BLISSISIGNORANCE in

jw
friends

i ask this question because we often hear about jw men (bros., elders, servants, co's etc.

) treating sisters as lower and weaker beings than themselves.. but i wonder if it's not just a male-dominant world problem.

i didn't grow up as a jw so every male i met for 30 years was not a jw.

berylblue

You know, Scarlet, that's real easy to say when you're not the one in the situation. For some of us, it's not as simple as just being sick of it and getting out. Generally, there are a lot more factors in the equation. I know that I would've said the same thing as you did to someone years ago, at least until I found myself in a controlling relationship. I didn't choose for my life to be this way, yet it is. I try to make the best of it for now, until I get on my feet again...and

Very well put. I got pregnant at 18 and married to a real bastard, non JW (I wasn't one at the time either). He abused me verbally, emotionally and, on occasion, physically. I had two young babies and no where to go. No job skills, no family to take me in. Nothing.

The JWs came along, found out my story, just told me to submit to him. That would make it all better. Needless to say, it did not. But of course, they were right there when he left me, first of all claiming disbelief (he is such a nice family man!) and then to say "God has called you to peace". Which, in fact, I feel he did.

JW elders, for the most part, will NEVER encourage a woman to leave an abusive husband. I know of one JW woman. Her husband beat her, and beat their son. She finally couldn't take any more, so she left. She was harrangued constantly by the elders until she returned to him. That very night, he shot her and her son. They were only flesh wounds, but still....how horrible....the elders didn't give a damn, and they sure as hell never said they were sorry.

I think JW men are ABSOLUTELY encouraged to be the "lord and master" and to look upon their wives as inferior.

Beryl

47

Here we go again - I think I'm toast this time

by DanTheMan in

jw
friends

in september 2001, i had a brief relationship with a coworker.

nothing came of it, we weren't a match.

but i was attracted to her, and i still am somewhat disappointed that more didn't come of it.

berylblue

Once again I'm feeling like a total waste of flesh. Any encouragement would be nice right now.

I wasn't there, so I don't know what will happen. But I can assure you this: YOU ARE NOT A TOTAL WASTE OF FLESH.

You know, there is a man at work who comes right out and tells me how much he wants to uh, bed me. He talks about threesomes and about how he'd love to do this and that to me. honest, I'm not lying....I just ignore him. I would never dream of reporting him. It's not even offensive, just too utterly declasse' for words.

I truly don't understand some women.

As a matter of fact, when I was an HR manager, one of my "associates" pinned me up against the wall, and started to tear my clothes off. I never ratted him out....he had four children. I didn't have the heart. I just stayed the hell away from him.

It does not seem to me as though you did or said anything inappropriate.

I don't know your situation, but if you grovel, then you really may feel like a total waste of flesh. Hold you head high and stick to your guns. Don't let that silly neurotic b**** get the best of you.

Easy for me to say...I know. Not so easy to do. Just remember, you are worth so much more than this ludicrous situation or even your job!

Beryl

34

Have You Ever Written A Letter To the Society?

by minimus in

jw
friends

when i was a kid, i remember my family regularly visiting other friends, including a brother that was the bible study servant.

every week, he would send a different letter to the society on a variety of subjects.

when our families would meet, he would ask us the question and we would do research or give our opinion on what we thought the society's answer was going to be.

berylblue

The sister who studied with me wrote to the Society, asking if there was any reason I couldn't be baptized, as I was bulimic. They wrote back to her, and asked her to ask me to write to them about it, as they were in the process of writing an article on eating disorders for the Awake! magazine.

I then came into contact with an "ER" from the Writing Dept. We corresponded about four or five times. Maybe more; I don't remember. The letters were beautiful. Each was loving, in a very formal way, of course. About the fifth time I wrote, this man did send a copy to the elders in our sister congregation; when it finally found its way to my congregation, "my" elders were pretty pissed. They asked why I would write semi-suicidal missives to the WTS when I should be going to them when I felt that way. Yeah, like they were going to help. I had tried to tell my elders I wanted to kill myself; they just blew me off. Repeatedly.

(NOTE: I realize now how futile it is to look to any human to truly understand how I feel, much less be able to help me. A psychiatrist is a much, much better bet, even given their limitations. Unless an elder, sister or anyone else has suffered major depression or bi-polar illness, etc. , or has had years of training in therapy, they simply are not going to be able to truly assist. JMHO. )

I wrote to this "ER" a few more times, and when I was disfellowshipped, I was devastated. I wrote him and, of course, he never wrote back. But he absolutely did put a lot of effort into writing me and trying to "help" me. Absolutely.

As a matter of fact, we had a hip young (relatively) man as our CO for a while, before he was removed. I didn't have to think long and hard to understand why he was removed; he and his wife were just too with it. I could definitely see where they were questioning what they saw in the congregations and at headquarters. He was a former stockbroker, and she was a former executive of some kind. Neither were raised in the "truth". Anyway, they were going up to Bethel and I asked them to bring a spice cake up to "ER". I will never forget: The wife said, "Oh, he's one of the few nice ones up there" Then she made some comments on things not being what "they seemed" up at Bethel. I wish I could remember specifics. I was very curious, but my polite nature and my shock that she would say something like that kept me from asking more about her comments.

Beryl

8

For those who became JWs as adults...

by Sara Annie in

before i begin, it would probably be helpful for me to (in a nutshell) explain that i am not currently, nor have i ever been, one of jehovah's witnesses.

my experience with the organization is peripheral in that my extended family became heavily involved several years ago.

in maintaining a relationship with that part of the family, i had relatively extensive dealings with the jws (for a "worldly" person) for many years of my childhood and beyond (if you're at all interested, you can read the details of my experience here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/44589/626056/post.ashx#626056).

berylblue

I was a former Catholic who had walked out in disgust of that Church years earlier when a witness knocked on my door.

I was lonely, poor, depressed and being emotionally abused by my husband.

I believed most, if not all, of the original information presented to me from the Bible. It made perfect sense. Spend 17 years trying to reason on ludicrous Catholic theology, and the simplicity of the "good news" will seem miraculous. The message of the Witnesses appealled to my need for simple, concise logic.

The thing that got me totally involved was that I did pray to Jehovah, asking him to show me what his will for me was. These prayers (ostensibly) helped me to do things I never thought I would be able to do.

From the start, however, I did not see any outpouring of love and acceptance. So I decided to be the "loving" one in the congregation. That filled my need to help others, as well as my need to feel "special". Hey! I was on the "narrow road". Even as a young girl, I used to worry about that. I knew, as a Catholic, that I was not on the narrow road. I was sure I had found it. Hey! Someone (Jehovah) finally loved me. And there -was- love in the congregation. I was supplying it - in my limited, neurotic way, of course.

I did not believe many of the "deeper" philosophers (the "meat"). But I kept my mouth shut. Things became less and less logical. Downright stupid, in some cases.

No, I did not see at all how the WTS was a cult. It never occured to me. I was grateful to know get to know a loving God. Funny how he became much less loving as time went on. His love became conditional. In the end, listening to the Witnesses, it seemed he was no better than the Catholic god; he'd nuke me at Armegeddon for sure.

The fault is not with Jehovah. It's with "his" organization. Imperfect men, yeah, blah, blah, blah. How much less perfect can they get?

Beryl

4

are JW's classist?

by Azalo in

jw
friends

is it just coincidence or do jw's seem to prefer members to be of at least middle class standing.

i cant think of one brother who had to struggle to make ends meet who became an elder or ms. in fact it seems like those ones were often viewed as weak.

any thoughts?

berylblue

In my first congregation, no. Everyone was pretty bad off financially.

In my second one, absolutely. If you didn't have money or relatives in that congregation, you didn't have a prayer.

Beryl

4

are JW's classist?

by Azalo in

jw
friends

is it just coincidence or do jw's seem to prefer members to be of at least middle class standing.

i cant think of one brother who had to struggle to make ends meet who became an elder or ms. in fact it seems like those ones were often viewed as weak.

any thoughts?

berylblue

In my first congregation, no. Everyone was pretty bad off financially.

In my second one, absolutely. If you didn't have money or relatives in that congregation, you didn't have a prayer.

Beryl

102

JW Urban Legends

by Azalo in

jw
friends

did any of you hear any of the urban legends that jw's used to scare people into being deathly afraid of demons?

for example i remeber hearing that a child brough a smurf doll to a meeting and upon hearing the name jehovah uttered it got up and walked out.

got any j-dub urban legends?

berylblue

Re: John Denver

I heard he was on the Tonight Show and started trashing Witnesses, and Johnny Carson got angry and told him, "Jehovah's WItnesses are the nicest people on the planet. My aunt is one".

Beryl

102

JW Urban Legends

by Azalo in

jw
friends

did any of you hear any of the urban legends that jw's used to scare people into being deathly afraid of demons?

for example i remeber hearing that a child brough a smurf doll to a meeting and upon hearing the name jehovah uttered it got up and walked out.

got any j-dub urban legends?

berylblue

Elders should be sure that a person is guilty before being disfellowshipped, especially if the person strongly denies it......

Since when?

Beryl

20

What Do You Think About "Jehovah's" Organization?

by minimus in

jw
friends

as witnesses, you are constantly bombarded with the expression,"jehovah's organization".... if we don't believe in jehovah's organization, we are doomed.

we must put faith in jehovah's organization.

jehovah's organization is the modern day "ark of survival"........these types of expressions have been drilled in the heads of jehovah's witnesses for decades.

berylblue

I think it's really screwed. Sorry for the lack of eloquence. But that's what I think.

Beryl

27

History of Head Covering for JW Women

by UnDisfellowshipped in

jw
friends

it is not a case of her being appointed to conduct a congregational meeting.

in such cases the dedicated brother should offer the prayer, and the sister may conduct the study with her head covered.

for if a woman does not cover herself, let her also be shorn.1 cor.

berylblue

The woman ought to have a sign of authority upon her head because of the angels," wrote the apostle Paul. Yes, Christian sisters have the privilege of being good examples to the millions of angels who loyally continue to subject themselves to Jehovah.

Isn't it amazing that whenever women in particular, and Witnesses in general, have to do something which is basically demeaning, it's called a privilege?

Beryl