I have been abused in some way or another my entire life. My dad started molesting me when I was 3 years old. He physically molested me until I was 16 and we moved into a new house where I had a lock on my door. With my door locked at night I no longer recieved late night visits from my dad. When I was 5 I told my mom about the game I played with daddy. Mom didn't stop it. When dad found out that that mom wasn't going to do anything to stop him he kicked it up a notch and would molest me while mom was in the same room watching. Dad also physically, emotionally and spiritually abused me. I remember I was a hard core thumb sucker and dads way to break the habit for me was to break my thumb. Now mom wasn't any angel. She beat the crap out of me every chance she got with wooden spoons. It wasn't until I was 40 that I could even have wooden spoons in my house. I threw moms spoons in the fireplace every time she replaced them. I easily burned over 100 wooden spoons. When I was 16 I came home on the last day of school to my bags packed and a one way ticket to Alaska to live with my grandmother. When they found out how happy I was the promptly sent a one way ticket home. Mom also emotionally and spiritually abused me. My older brother and younger sister were more of my abusers physically, emotionally and spiritually as well. I can remember my brother hitting me in the head with a baseball bat and I got in trouble. There was a 2 year period where I was in the ER for another injury weither it was a broken bone or stiches. My sister is 10 months and 10 days younger than I am. She was the pretty one. I am not never have been. In fact I am what some would consider homely. I never had a date until I was 19. No homecomming, no prom, I couldn't even get a date for the sadie hawkins dance. My sister on the other hand always had one. Every big dance mom jumped at the oppertuinity rub it in. Making me go dress shopping with them, praiding my sister around in front of my bragging about how pretty she was all the while telling me I had to due better in school because I was to ugly to land a husband. I would need an education to support myself. Now lets jump to when I was 20. I had a boyfriend. We moved in together. Thats when his sexual abuse started. He liked to swing. Forced me to swing. I can't tell you how many STD's I got. When I came home after 6 weeks living together I came home early and found him in bed with another man. All our swinging never included same sex. I knew there was no way I would ever be able to satisfy him sexually and Aids had just come onto the front burner. I no longer wished to be with this man. I had no idea I was pregnant. When my mom found out I was pregnant she and my grandmother pushed me everyday to abort the baby. When it became to late for an abortion They went into a daily routine to put the baby up for adoption. Which I did.
KariOtt
JoinedPosts by KariOtt
-
15
Why I can never escape abuse
by KariOtt ini have been abused in some way or another my entire life.
my dad started molesting me when i was 3 years old.
he physically molested me until i was 16 and we moved into a new house where i had a lock on my door.
-
-
-
10
A big shout out to Simon-JWN my new days text !!!!!
by 70wksfyrs indear simon,.
i want to give you a great big public thank you!!!!.
jwn has been instrumental in my deprogramming.
-
-
KariOtt
Yes a big thank you to Simon.
-
39
Oops I did it again. Another mistake
by KariOtt inso it seems i made another mistake.
i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.
i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.
-
-
KariOtt
I'll explain tomorrow why I can't escape. be prepaired for a long horrific story. my night nighty psych drugs are kicking in.5 psych durgs at bedtime and 4 psych drugs when I wake up. then another 3 at lunchtime.
-
39
Oops I did it again. Another mistake
by KariOtt inso it seems i made another mistake.
i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.
i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.
-
-
KariOtt
Yes I know I'm in an abusive relationship. Abuse is all I know. Don't think I'll ever escape.
-
39
Oops I did it again. Another mistake
by KariOtt inso it seems i made another mistake.
i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.
i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.
-
-
KariOtt
No he is not physically abusive. Not yet.
-
39
Oops I did it again. Another mistake
by KariOtt inso it seems i made another mistake.
i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.
i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.
-
-
KariOtt
I'm the one who left the bedroom. Since he wouldn't shut up about the whole mess.
-
39
Oops I did it again. Another mistake
by KariOtt inso it seems i made another mistake.
i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.
i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.
-
-
KariOtt
I only posted facts on facebook. Hubby actually had the nerve to tell me that I was wrong about attending another church is a disfellowshipping ofense.
-
39
Oops I did it again. Another mistake
by KariOtt inso it seems i made another mistake.
i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.
i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.
-
-
KariOtt
So it seems I made another mistake. I expressed negative feelings to my hubby. I'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions. Since he knew elder and elders pioneer wife were comming over Wednesday for the bible study I requested 10 months ago. He knows I will never join the cult but allowed them to come over anyway while he was waiting over at sister in laws house laughing at what was about to transfire at my house. Then after I was baptized Wednesday for a nondemonational christian church I posted on facebook how I wished my hubby could be there to watch. A long time friend from back in elementry school asked why he couldn't share my important moment with me. I replyed that it was because he was a jw and that they were not allowed to attend any services at another church or risk being disfellowshiped. I said that they were hypricates because they expect everyone to attend their cult but can't attend another church. Then his sister gets on facebook slamming me for my post. I slept in the guest roomlast night and I no longer have a facebook account.
-
32
HELP I have until next Wednesday
by KariOtt ini have an oppertuinity to try ttatt on an elders wife who is a pioneer who showed up today.
she is willing to meet me one on one to discuss how pedofiles are protected, the blood issue, the flip flpos, how they teach theocratical warfare and hate.
i agreed to only use watchtower and awake publications.
-
-
KariOtt
losingit....I can't believe after all you have learned about TTATT that you wonder why I openly oppose my husbands involvement. Think about why you left. I don't have a problem with religion. I'm all for it. I do have a problem when a religion takes all control away from its members. A religion that uses threats and imitation to keep their members. I have a problem with a religion that thinks nothing of dividing families. I have a problem with a religion that keeps secrets from its members. I have a problem with a religion that tells its members what can and can't be done in the marital bed. I have a problem with a religion that thinks nothing of saving the lives of its members. I have a problem with a religion that protects sex offenders.I have a problem with a religion that expects to be put before family. Need I go on with more examples because I could write a book on whats wrong with the witnesses. Please let me know if you need more examples.
-
32
HELP I have until next Wednesday
by KariOtt ini have an oppertuinity to try ttatt on an elders wife who is a pioneer who showed up today.
she is willing to meet me one on one to discuss how pedofiles are protected, the blood issue, the flip flpos, how they teach theocratical warfare and hate.
i agreed to only use watchtower and awake publications.
-
-
KariOtt
Now I'm waiting for elders pioneer wife to convince my sister in law to shun me. Even though I am not nor will I ever become a witness. Since she conducts her bible study and elder hubby conducts my hubbys bible study I have complete faith that she will poision my sister in laws opion of me. Just courious as to how long that will take. Time will tell.