Oops I did it again. Another mistake

KariOtt

So it seems I made another mistake. I expressed negative feelings to my hubby. I'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions. Since he knew elder and elders pioneer wife were comming over Wednesday for the bible study I requested 10 months ago. He knows I will never join the cult but allowed them to come over anyway while he was waiting over at sister in laws house laughing at what was about to transfire at my house. Then after I was baptized Wednesday for a nondemonational christian church I posted on facebook how I wished my hubby could be there to watch. A long time friend from back in elementry school asked why he couldn't share my important moment with me. I replyed that it was because he was a jw and that they were not allowed to attend any services at another church or risk being disfellowshiped. I said that they were hypricates because they expect everyone to attend their cult but can't attend another church. Then his sister gets on facebook slamming me for my post. I slept in the guest roomlast night and I no longer have a facebook account.

Scully

You are being abused. You have the right to your opinion. You have the right to express your opinion. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise or punishes you for your free expressions is abusive.

Ask them if what you posted was true or false. You know it's true. They know it's true. Why are they so afraid of other people knowing the truth about what they believe?? Don't let them get away with saying it was "disrespectful" - it's the truth. It is what it is, there's no disrespect in truth. Perhaps they cannot tolerate having the truth about them known on a public forum such as Facebook.

I wouldn't have deleted my Facebook account over them. I would have unfriended or blocked them instead, so you can be free to speak your opinion without reprisal.

And one other thing - I would cancel the Bible Study™ with the Elder™ and his Pioneer™ wife. There needs to be some consequences for the way they are mistreating you.

ILoveTTATT

ditto what scully said

chrisuk

Yeah I agree with Scully, You're being abused.

DATA-DOG

You let your hubby kick you out of the bedroom? WTH?! You have to lay down the law girl! Here is how it works at my house. I NEVER get kicked out of the bedroom. In over 20 years, I have NEVER been forced to the couch or guest house. If my wife is the one who is mad for an immature reason, then she can get out, END OF STORY. Why no Facebook account? Did hubby take it? I would not put up with that.

IF..IF!!!!, Hubby is such a good Christian, a "true Christian", then he must set the example. He should be extremely mild-mannered and respect your feelings. You are his wife for God's sake! From his point of view it should not matter if you EVER come into "the troof." He should be treating you respectfully, and you should tell him so.

As far as not being allowed to have negative feelings, that's the cult talking. You must be happy ALL the time, even sweeping legitimate issues under the rug. My wife's defense for my being angry about the Pharisees in the Organization, and the child abuse, and the legalism was to say, " It's not upbuilding to research those types of things. It's negative. We should be positive." That's just their way of burying their heads in the sand. Any FACTS that shed light on the hypocrisy of the WTBTS are "negative." Well sister, it's perfectly normal to be mad as hell sometimes, especially when you are being lied to. Don't let anyone abuse you and make you think that YOU are the problem.

DD

KariOtt

I only posted facts on facebook. Hubby actually had the nerve to tell me that I was wrong about attending another church is a disfellowshipping ofense.

Scully

The Elders' Manual™ called Pay Attention to Yourselves and All the Flock (1991 edition), on page 91 defines Apostasy this way:

Apostasy
Apostasy is a standing away from, a falling away, defection, rebellion, abandonment ; it involves teaching false doctrines, supporting or promoting false religion and its holidays or interfaith activities. (Deut . 13 :13, 15 ; Josh. 22 :22, ftn . ; Acts 21 :21, ftn. ; 2 Cor. 6 :14, 15, 17, 18 ; 2 John 7, 9, 10 ; Rev . 18 :4)

Attending another church to witness someone's baptism into that church would be construed as "supporting ... false religion" and "interfaith activity". It would be considered an act of Apostasy™, and would be considered a Disfellowshipping Offense™.

It also applies to weddings, christenings, funerals, and other rites of passage that take place in a house of worship.

adamah

Per JW beliefs, you are an unbelieving mate (UBM), and you're not entitled to express an opinion that's critical of JW beliefs. Instead, your husband is supposed to keep his wife "in submission", so you're in deep doo-doo since you're actually married to someone who, although he wears modern clothes, is more akin to a bigoted misogynistic Amish Bible literalist who sees women as weaker (pointing to Eve).

Hopefully he isn't physically abusive, but it certainly is emotional abuse, and trying to keep you in your place. Are you willing to be a submissive wife, and bite your tongue to not rock the boat? If so, fine.

If not, you need to face up to the problem, and not bury your head in the sand; you'll need to protect yourself as the problem won't go away on it's own by ignoring his willingness to trample over your right to freedom of having your own thoughts (and to express those thoughts as your opinion).

Ultimately, you're going to have to build up courage to act on your own behalf, though, since dragging others into the fundamental disagreement is not going to do anything to address the problem. As ex-slave Frederick Douglass once said, "I prayed for release from slavery for 20 yrs, but nothing happened until I prayed with my own two feet."

Adam

LisaRose

Well, I can understand why your husband was upset. While what you said was the truth, not all truths need to be stated. You may hate this religion, with good reason, but it does not make it OK to embarrass him in a public forum. I would have answered your friend privately. If you want to stay married, you need to be more tactful, obviously religion is a touchy subject. Attending another church was not an automatic disfellowshiping offence back in my day, it was left as a conscience matter if attending a wedding or funeral, but I don't know about now. In either case, it's just not smart to air this grievance in public. Imagine how you would feel if he complained about you refusing to attend the Kingdom Hall if he were giving a public talk. Would you like that?

On the other hand, your hubby over reacted by kicking you out of the bedroom. I agree that he needs to be the one to go if he is having a snit.

Scully

By the way, if it wasn't a Disfellowshipping Offense™ for your husband to attend another church, then why wasn't he there to support you on your special day?

Oops I did it again. Another mistake

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