I have reconnected with three-- two were df'd and one faded. We haven't met up in person but we keep in contact thru text and fb. The one that faded is still very much mentally in. I don't understand it. The other two see the problems with the org and articulate them on their own very well with no prodding but i don't believe they're fully awake to TTATT. I tried to introduce a more in depth analysis to one but she resisted by saying I had apostate leanings, even tho all I was doing was supporting her stand. Go figure. The other is a busy college girl with goals and friends. She's great! I think she's just too busy with all of the wonderful doors opening up right now to care about the TTATT in any in depth way. Which is great! I love her very much and wish her much success. I'm here to support her always and to push her to excellence. :-)
losingit
JoinedPosts by losingit
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26
Have you reconnected with ex-JW's after you have left the Borg?
by EdenOne inafter reading from another thread, i felt it was worth asking this question.. if you left the borg on your own, have you attempted to meet others whom you used to be connected with while you were "in", but who have also become ex-jw's before or after you have left the wts?
if that's the case, has it remained a friendship, or the connection grew cold?
just curious as to what keeps friendships "stick" [or not] once you no longer have the borg's doctrinal glue.. your experiences are welcome.. eden.
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Said from the platform: "You are not surviving Armaggedon if you are spiritually weak"
by Daniel1555 intoday i was at the meeting (i go there about once a month now).
in the service meeting they had a part where they interviewed the secretary of the congregation.. so one question was: "why are the service reports so important?".
our secretary explained that the reports are important, because the elders can see, who is spiritually weak.
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losingit
Apog-- the problem with the comment is that he's judging the heart condition and actions of others when he has no right to do that .... when i had my first born, my hours dropped dramatically. So did my ex's bc he was with me and the newborn. At the service meeting one evening, a MS recently moved up into the rank of elder declared that if we were not putting at least 10 hours out in service that we did not love Jehovah. I was completely demoralized. Completely! I was also very angry and shocked at what I had just heard. It changed me as a Witness. I never really saw service the same again. The zeal I had began to wane and never fully recovered for lots of reasons besides that one .
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PEER PRESSURE!!! I gave in to Pioneering during August...I feel dirty...
by stuckinarut2 inok, i'll admit it...i am weak.... as everyone knows, the pressure to "pioneer" during "the most momentous, awesome, amazing, centenary anniversay of jesus invisble kigdom rule, & distribute tracts about a dodgy website" campaign is very strong at the moment.... also, many will have read my threads about the extreme views and expectations in our cong for "all appointed men to pioneer" etc..... every elder and ms and their families have been announced as pioneering....i mean everyone's name was read out except mine..... i was not going to do it, as i do not believe anyone should be forced...(and of course its the last thing on earth i would rather do anyway since learning ttatt).
but i am not quite ready to make the break yet, so i realised that i would stand out more if i didnt put in a form to pioneer.
yes it would make me more conspicious, and make fading harder to do...it would bring more heat on me if i didnt pioneer.. so i gave in and submitted a form.... now, of course, i'm only going to make sure i'm seen at the key field service groups etc...but then go and do something more interesting...like count blades of grass..... ahh....i feel hypocritical to myself now......
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losingit
What OneEyedJoe suggested was GREAT. I'd go that route. (I actually did, subconsciously... I signed up to auxiliary pioneer after the first campaign. Did not meet the mark for the month. Went out in service once after that. But I wasn't trying to fade-- I was fed up with the BS of 'service'!)
Follow OneEyedJoe' s plan!
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losingit
Minumus-- you say you don't like the stigma. .. does stigma really matter when you're not gonna associate with those ppl anyway?
It's a question I myself struggle to answer. Every say I come to a different conclusion. But I'm working on letting go. I spoke to my mom (who has never been a jw but studied once a LOOONG time ago) about the stigma attached. She comforted me by saying that what matters is what I make of my life, the rejectionof failure. I know I get super depressed from residual jw crap and the failure of my marriage- - but what's done is done. You probably don't have as heavy a burden to bear ( I'm assuming you're out bc of conscience matters and not a grave sin) but really- - the stigma of being disfellowshipped is as big or as important as you make it.
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losingit
Im over being disfellowshipped, it no longer has an emotional affect on me. However when I went thru it it was pretty traumatizing. It was a kick to the face and a punch in the gut when I most needed supoort. Im ok with being a loner-- I've accepted it for now. There are alot of thngs on my plate and adding friends/socializing to the mix would be a bit much.
So in summary- - Being disfellowshipped was a double edged sword for me. Happy to be out of the cult, I was sad I lost friends in the process, but now I'm alright about it.
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Weird crazy rules imposed by your local Elders.
by stuckinarut2 inwe all know the sort of thing..... in many congregations, specific "rules" creep in...introduced by the local elders that become set in stone.. years ago, i heard of a congregation that sat down during the first song of the evening but stood for all others (the co changed that very soon after).
then there were the older accounts of congs that had rules to make the public speakers wear only white shirts.... in one cong now, i heard that brothers can only be used for sound or microphones if they do a minimum of 5 hours per month in the ministry!.
another cong has ruled that all appointed men must pioneer for at least one month each year in order to remain qualified.. .
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losingit
The brothers really are that sexed up in their imaginations. Apparently, at the last hall where I was, the brothers were able to figure out how to look under a sister's skirt as she slid into her chair to give a part on the platform. No lie! I remember one brother talking about it when we were at his house for dinner! Horny mf'ers SMH!
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Weird crazy rules imposed by your local Elders.
by stuckinarut2 inwe all know the sort of thing..... in many congregations, specific "rules" creep in...introduced by the local elders that become set in stone.. years ago, i heard of a congregation that sat down during the first song of the evening but stood for all others (the co changed that very soon after).
then there were the older accounts of congs that had rules to make the public speakers wear only white shirts.... in one cong now, i heard that brothers can only be used for sound or microphones if they do a minimum of 5 hours per month in the ministry!.
another cong has ruled that all appointed men must pioneer for at least one month each year in order to remain qualified.. .
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losingit
No boots up to the knee for sisters giving parts on the platform.
Skirts must be passed the knee while giving parts on the platform.
Why? ... It gets the brothers imagining the shape of the sister's legs.
I'm serious! An elder actually told my ex-husband this after I gave my first part as a publisher. LOL
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not till after the meeting.....
by sowhatnow inthe dreaded phrase i will never miss!!!.
some of the ones i had to hear ,.
we cant go over grandmas... till after the meeting.
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losingit
I hated the early morning meeting. I liked the noon or 1 pm meeting . I love to sleep in and have a good breakfast, 1pm slotlet me do that.
But yeahhhhh there was never time for anything because of the meetings. I just wanted to live and enjoy life! It wasalways the freaking meeting!!!
Ugh I hated being a JW. What a pointless waste of time--@#%@!!!!
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I do not miss anything about the conventions
by Darth Fader The Sequel inthis weekend nearly everyone i have ever known or that i am related to is sitting in a convention.
i miss none of it!!!!.
i do not miss:.
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losingit
The second to laat convention I went to, I was still with my husband. I made a point of looking beautiful every day of the convention. Huh. I remember what I wore that last day we were together as a family at a convention. He held me tight during the prayer. I didn't listen to it at all. I was just focused on being close. The convention after that he refused to sit with me and the girls. That was the last convention I ever attended. It's funny, the memories. But yes, the conventions sucked hard core. There is nothing for me to reminisce about. All sad or a waste of time.
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Harrass them before they harrass you
by SonoftheTrinity inwhy don't dfs who really know how evil jehovah's witnesses are just harrass them as they go door knocking so that when someone intervenes to defend them they get a balanced story about what the jehovah's witnesses are all about.
the ones that were raised in it were raised to be anti-intellectual wusses, they aren't going to win a debate or kick anyone's ass.
but they certainly deserve philosophical and rhetorical smackdowns, they deserve haters standing in their way as they go harrassing everybody in the neighborhood.
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losingit
Aint nobody got time for that!