OHHHH dear Nicholas!!! my heart goes out to you. Brings me back to the years when my husband and I were in the same situation. Him, fully understanding what watchtower truly was. Me, staunch, devoted pioneer. How many times i threatened to leave him, if he became an "apostate". Being an apostate was equal to being the devil with me.
He stuck around....he did suffer in silence and later physically too. But eventually I figured things out too. Be patient...your wife will see things for what they are.
For now--try not focus of what could have been or should have been. Concentrate on the now and try to find something in your day to find joy. Don't let Watchtower ruin your internal joy.