Wow, there are some diverse thoughts posted! I'm thinking about all of them. I guess in reality a dilemna like this is something that someone only freshly extricated from the "truth" would even worry about. I really like some of the thoughts expressed! (even some of the funny ones that hint.....lighten up) Old habits are hard to break & I suppose that if the creator of the universe is actually a communicating entity that knows hearts & thoughts, then any form of prayer would do. Maybe living day to day, moment to moment is a good plan?
Posts by JNS2
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31What about praying NOW???
by JNS2 innow that my decision to leave the organization is made, there is definitely a sense of relief.
i know i'm leaving a controlling organization, not my faith in god.
so i'm still praying at various times during the day, but it has become a very odd thing now.
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31
What about praying NOW???
by JNS2 innow that my decision to leave the organization is made, there is definitely a sense of relief.
i know i'm leaving a controlling organization, not my faith in god.
so i'm still praying at various times during the day, but it has become a very odd thing now.
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JNS2
Now that my decision to leave the organization is made, there is definitely a sense of relief. I know I'm leaving a controlling organization, not my faith in God.
So I'm still praying at various times during the day, but it has become a very odd thing now. I'm not sure who I'm praying to. It's a strange experience to start to pray to Jehovah but then have all the thoughts of being a JW come flooding in. I've tried changing my prayer to Yahweh, & I've tried just God, but it seems so strange.
Has anybody had these unsettling thoughts & resolved them? Is this just another thing that gets settled over time?
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10
The power of belief systems
by donkey inmost of us here have been jw's.
most of us believed it was the truth.
inherent in that is the belief that we would be persecuted and this would be one of the signs that we were the true religion.
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JNS2
Donkey (Jack), I think I would have died over the blood issue when I was "in". Even worse, I would have let my friends & loved ones sacrifice their lives too. I threw away my blood card about a week ago. I guess I can just be thankful it never was a life or death issue because I wouldn't be here writing this post now.
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29
Why did I fall away from the truth???
by JNS2 inno, i don't think it is the "truth" any more, but for 22 years i did.
that is what makes this so very difficult to come to grips with, admitting that i wasted all that time as a mindless drone.
(borg) anyway, i've been trying to analyze why i have fallen away.
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JNS2
Thanks again Gumby & Blondie. It feels like coming out of a fog into clear blue sky. I don't want to throw away whatever good there was in my last couple decades, but I do like the idea of examining things closely from now on & not making the same mistakes over & over.....jns2
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29
Why did I fall away from the truth???
by JNS2 inno, i don't think it is the "truth" any more, but for 22 years i did.
that is what makes this so very difficult to come to grips with, admitting that i wasted all that time as a mindless drone.
(borg) anyway, i've been trying to analyze why i have fallen away.
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JNS2
Danny, I really do think I understand your motives. Everything you've said makes sense & when a statement is true it's true. I hope for your sake that you regain your family somehow.
Thanks Gumby (now that REALLY does sound strange), you do seem to have a crystal clear view & a nice way of expressing things. Your points are well made & taken with gratitude!
jns2
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9
How time flies
by joelbear inyikes, 25 years ago this month i became a regular pioneer for the first time.
all in hopes of going to bethel which i did in may of 25 years ago.. zounds, thats a long time.
scary to think about actually.. tick tock.
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JNS2
Ditto, ditto, & ditto. I hope I can REALLY enjoy the years I have left without guilt & doubts hanging around & ruining everything. My little mental image for the last couple days has been of a group of lemmings running like crazy toward the edge & one of them lifts up his head & says to himself.....what the heck?????
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29
Why did I fall away from the truth???
by JNS2 inno, i don't think it is the "truth" any more, but for 22 years i did.
that is what makes this so very difficult to come to grips with, admitting that i wasted all that time as a mindless drone.
(borg) anyway, i've been trying to analyze why i have fallen away.
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JNS2
Craig, your post was wonderful salve for my wounds. I needed that. It just reaffirms my being here on the computer reading posts & occasionally adding something. Thank you for your sincerity.
Beans, you added the link to old WT quotes. I've gone there before as a result of coming to these forums. I think it is interesting to see the things that the society has written in the past. There is so much that really is almost funny in retrospect, & obviously way out in left field. But so much of it is old, 1800's, early 1900's. I know it is an easy excuse about the light getting brighter, & new understandings coming to light, but why isn't that valid? I'm not being stubborn or blind I don't think, but I always accepted the societies position of admitting a past understanding was incorrect & correcting it. Am I still wearing my blinders?
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29
Why did I fall away from the truth???
by JNS2 inno, i don't think it is the "truth" any more, but for 22 years i did.
that is what makes this so very difficult to come to grips with, admitting that i wasted all that time as a mindless drone.
(borg) anyway, i've been trying to analyze why i have fallen away.
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JNS2
Danny, I read your response & appreciate everything you said. I don't know about your 98% figure, I wonder how many did eagerly read the new releases. How can we answer that? Anyway, I didn't sleep well last night because of thinking about my last post about field service & meetings. I felt like I had degenerated to mud slinging. I say this because what I posted wasn't really a fair picture. I had some good times in field service, not just driving around aimlessly looking for somewhere to go. It wasn't always "you got a call? I don't have any RV's left, I don't either". Sometimes I had very pleasant times in service. Sometimes I felt like I had productive times in service, talking to people about the Bible or the state of the world or whatever. I also enjoyed the meetings for the most part. Maybe I was not the deep thinking intellectual that some here are (I'm not being sarcastic), but at the time I don't remember it as a mind-numbing waste of time. Reading all the posts here & thinking back on it now maybe it seems like they were boring or simpleminded, but that may be revisionist history. At the time, I was at almost all the meetings & I think I was benefitting from them.
I just don't want to be slamming the organization & saying & thinking things that really aren't true. I'm sure my questions & doubts are valid, but I don't want to be unfair & mean spirited about it. This kind of free thinking is so new to me that it is probably going to take me quite a bit more time to see the big picture. I just needed to get this off my chest.
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29
Why did I fall away from the truth???
by JNS2 inno, i don't think it is the "truth" any more, but for 22 years i did.
that is what makes this so very difficult to come to grips with, admitting that i wasted all that time as a mindless drone.
(borg) anyway, i've been trying to analyze why i have fallen away.
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JNS2
Thanks for the comforting thoughts! I am thankful for seeing the light with still some time left for breathing free air. I used to wonder about those religious zealots that go around beating themselves with chains, cutting themselves, etc & wonder how anyone could be so crazy. But when I think back on what my life was like & the schedule I kept, I wonder what is really crazier. When I think of driving around for all morning in field service or even all day, going all over town making return visits where noone was home, back & forth, I can hardly imagine anything much more tortuous. And the meetings. Maybe self flagelation isn't so bad after all.
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29
Why did I fall away from the truth???
by JNS2 inno, i don't think it is the "truth" any more, but for 22 years i did.
that is what makes this so very difficult to come to grips with, admitting that i wasted all that time as a mindless drone.
(borg) anyway, i've been trying to analyze why i have fallen away.
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JNS2
Thank you all SO MUCH for your replies. It is so comforting to have a place like this to share this common experience! I just had to add in regard to "falling away" I absolutely agree that is a bad expression. Climbing away would be a better expression. Climbing out of the darkness, seeking the light? It reminds me of when I "stepped down" as an elder. What a terrible expression, I guess I must have been in some elevated position. Amazing delusions for too many years.